? Homosexuality 101?

I'm not sure what kind of advice your friend can get. I mean, if he chooses to date girls but is gay, will he have any feelings for the girl?

I kinda think homosexuality has something to do with that all-determining mechanism: DNA. Plus choice. So, if many people are born with homosexuality as a trait, then they shouldn't be frowned upon, correct? This would be interesting to see a study or somethign on this subject with conclusive evidence.

This is weird for me to grasp. I know many gay people who have never said anything as depressing as your friend. Although I grew up in a fairly open and understanding family and I am part of a very open and understanding enviornment, I can see how some people would be terrified by the realization that they are gay. It's not as accepted everywhere. I think being gay is just who some people are. Saying they choose it sounds ridiculous to me because of course they do, they could always live an unhappy life in denial. Saying they were born being gay also sounds weird to me. Saying that someone is gay because of biological things just sounds like a horrible excuse for people trying to make excuses (that don't need to be made in the first place!).
As for the religion thing, that drives me absolutely crazy when people state that gay people will go to hell. It really bothers me when religious people say that about anyone different from themselves. Who's to say they aren't going to hell because of something they did? Who's to say that they get to tell other people such a horrible thing? (I'm not religious in any way, so this is where I get a lot of anger from).
Sorry if this made no sense. I'm still reeling from the my own crazy morning emotions. :)
--
'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

You said, " It really crushes me to hear people say people that are homosexual go to hell, and not heaven." Yeah, it really hurts me to hear that, too. But you know what, I only know one religious person who's ever said that, and rest assured, he's crazy and not well-liked.

According to the Bible, homosexuality is a sin. It's wrong. Just like lying, stealing, and murdering. All those things are wrong. But do you know any religious people who haven't lied? I don't. The God I know is a God of grace, He loves sinners, He loves liars, and murders, and gay people. If gay people believe in Him, He's provided a way for them to go to heaven.

I just wanted to clarify that. Everyone does have a shot at heaven, and people who say that gay people can't go to heaven aren't familiar with their Bible. Message me if you wanna talk about this more.

There are many theories about homosexuality. Some are hormonal, some are genetic, some are sociological, none of them matter. The fact is, some people are gay. Some people are straight. Some people are bisexual. Some people are transgendered. Some people are. Just because something might not be the norm, or understood by all does not make it wrong or weird or hell-worthy.
Does this change the way you feel about your friend? It doesn't sound like it does. I'm sure you can empathize. Be there for him. Let him know that he has a shoulder to lean on. Stand up for him.
It isn't easy being gay in society. It's a lot more acceptable, but there will always be people that choose to be intolerant.
If you are more curious about the religious point of view, check out http://wouldjesusdiscriminate.com. Personally, I'm not religious, but I have defended friends against anti-gays that like to use the Bible as an excuse for their own intolerance and ignorance. Without even opening the Bible, I remember two major things from my Catholic school days- God is the only one that can judge, and He loves everyone. Even if homosexuality is considered a sin, I read along the way that we're all sinners. Homosexuality is not banned in the 10 Commandments or one of the seven deadly sins.
-Sonja :)

I agree with what HRH says about God loving everyone, but there is a stipulation to getting to heaven. You have to believe in Christ and make and effort to change your life. In your friend's case, try to resist the temptation to mess around with guys. Although it may be genetic, it's possible to resist it. Maybe being celibate would allow him to accomplish more in his life than having a partner. Why does your friend hate being gay? Does he fear being a social outcast? Does he actually have more heart attraction to men than women? A friend of mine's fiancee is very fearful that he may be gay because of an abuse experience that he had when he was younger. The thing is that just because you find pleasure with someone of the same sex doesn't mean you're gay. it's brain vs. body. If his brain is more attracted to men then I would agree that he's gay. Perhaps you should encourage him to see your guidance counselor or find a hotline from a gay/lesbian organization to call for help.

I do think that you are born homosexual. I don't think it has anything to do with the number of chromosomes you have....

Also, in the original language of the NT, I believe the word commonly translated as homosexual means more along the line of prostitute. In the OT, it's only for men, only for Jews, and part of the law that is only required for people living in Israel.

“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund

I don't know your friend, but I suspect that if you questioned him closely, you would discover that what he "hates" is actually an expression of fear over the ill-treatment that he expects to receive from other people, and especially from his family and friends. Fear of being ostracized from the people you hold dear can be a paralyzing emotion. In time, I hope that your friend comes to realize that hating who you are is not healthy, and comes to terms with his own sexuality. Often, all it takes is for one person...maybe a family member, maybe a friend, maybe a lover...to stand up and say, "hey, I love you for who you are...gay, bi, straight...whatever...I love you."

percivale

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Check out Progressive PRIDE, a Gay-Straight Alliance for the Progressive U community.

I actually dated a gay guy for two years. Somewhere deep down (or not so deep, because I did in fact ask him at least 3 times) I knew it. It didn't help him any to date me, because he is still gay. In fact, I think denying his true feelings probably made him turn into the more I need to be flamboyantly gay person he is today. I think it's something that can not be helped. I mean, did you wake up one day and decide you would like the gender you do? Nah. I actually believe that love is love, sure some people have a strong preference for one gender or the other, but I think love should be able to just be free (I might be a little bit of a hippie). Anyone should be allowed to love anyone without regard to race, religion, gender or anything. I mean, real love is rare enough anyway, we don't need to put limiters on it.

Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

Did you ever hear anyone say, "That work had better be banned because I might read it and it might be very damaging to me?" ~Joseph Henry Jackson

LizzieD

I have no idea, because this is a question only science can answer, and as there is still a huge stigma about homosexuality in a lot of areas of the world, this isn't something that will be scienced to its full extent for another decade or so.

I can speak from experience though. Perhaps a person is simply born with a certain amount of disposition towards being gay, and that amount varies from person to person. You could be born with enough to ignore it all your life, but if you dwell on it, keep an open mind, and find yourself curious about that small percentage of your mind that thinks Matthew Fox is hot, you can sort of "bring it out" of yourself.

So it's determined from the day you're born (or conceived, I guess, since we're talking about genetics) as to whether or not you could potentially be gay, but up to you to decide. Or maybe you'll be born with very little "gayness" and could never go there if you wanted to. Perhaps you're born with so much that you can't help it, and just find yourself drawn to tight shirts at the age of seven.

But this is speculation, because who really knows? I'm sure anyone who's posted before me who's said something like "It's genetics!" or "It's a choice!" is just arguing for or against homosexuality and trying to defend their position, but I'm speaking solely from experience. I'll let you figure out what I mean by "I hope nobody I know finds this."

I think homosexuality is not choice. Sexual orientation probably happens when we are still embryos around the first eight weeks, and it is most lkely has to do with hormone imbalances.

I think it's something you're born with. I've know far to many people who would do anything to be strait to think this is a choice. I've had friends in therapy, friends who obsessively date the opposite gender to try to "fix" themselves, and in the end, nothing changes. Society needs to get over it.
Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.