Disney .... and Then Some

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Disney? Probably princesses, evil villains, magical miracles? Disney is kicking the dead horse when it comes to sequels that go straight to dvd. A few nights ago I was watching tv with my boyfriend and a commercial for the third Cinderella movie came on. Well, wait a minute…when was there a second one? I mean, everyone knows there was a first one, so what the hell was the second one? I’m not a big fan of Cinderella, but why did they make a third one? Disney has made quite a profit making these awkward sequels and trilogies. They have managed to make a Bambi number 2, a Lady and the Tramp 2 and a Fox and the Hound 2. I never really liked Bambi. I got confused about Bambi being a boy or girl and it’s still very unclear. Have any of you people in cyber space seen or heard about the Land Before Time? (think irritating dinosaur movie) Now that is an excellent example of going WAY TOO FAR. Who the HELL watches those ones?! One is good, okay two but to have 8? By this time the dinosaurs should be extinct. Talk about DESPERATE. Disney has had their share of classics, for example: Snow White, Aladdin, The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, The Jungle Book, etc., but I feel as if they’re not giving 110% that Walt Disney would want. If they had a happy ending already, then why the hell do they deserve 6 more? I recently went to Orlando, Florida during the holiday extravaganza time of year and I decided to do most of my holiday shopping in the various Disney parks. I have two young cousins, the girl is going to be 10 and the boy will be 5 and I asked them who were their favorite Disney characters. “CARS!!!!!!!!!!!!” they excitedly said. “MMkay… well what about a princess or Goofy?” I said. No response. They had no idea what I was talking about. I mean they knew who the princesses are and crap, but they couldn’t tell me which movie they were from. This surprised me so much that it brought me to the subject about kids nowadays. Children rely on someone else most of the time to keep them entertained. With their little leap frog games and Barney crap. I don’t know about you, but when I was kid I knew how to entertain myself. I didn’t care about being myself, I used a little thing called imagination which kids are now lacking because of the toys that they play with. I think that if a kid could learn how to entertain themselves without relying on someone else then they could grow up to not be a whiny, needy, irritating person, which the world could use LESS of. Disney lies. Do you know why they lie? Well Duh! They can. HA. Get on to my time machine. Let me take you back in time where they made a little movie called Pocahontas. Now I don’t know about you, but I hated that movie with a PASSION. This movie really pissed me off as a kid. When I was in fourth grade I wrote a report about her and when I saw the movie I wanted to PUKE! She wasn’t thin, gorgeous with raven hair. NO! she was NOT really worth looking at. She didn’t marry John Smith! She married some other John! She went to Europe and died of Smallpox. Yes that’s definitely a happy ending. What is the deal with Goofy? He’s CLEARLY a dog, but so is Pluto. So why is Pluto domesticated and Goofy is NOT? Maybe Goofy should try the collar once in a while to see what being bitched around feels like. What is the deal with Donald Duck? He wears a shirt and no pants. Right? So tell me why does he cover up after he takes a shower or bath? It’s not like we haven’t see you without pants. Is there some “duck parts” that we are not suppose to see? If it’s so risqué then why isn’t he wearing pants in the first place? Speaking of risqué, I’m sure in your lifetime you have heard about the subliminal messages in a few of their movies.(Aladdin, The Lion King and The Little Mermaid) I read a blog by someone very recently who discussed this topic and I found it very interesting. Actually it helped me out a lot, because I had a few unsolved questions about it. Aladdin’s was the part when he is talking to Jasmine on her balcony and Raja (the tiger) was growling. You can hear the phrase: “Good teenagers take off their clothes.” I am not ashamed to admit that I own that movie both on VHS and dvd. From experience and curiosity I heard it clear as a bell! Now about The Lion King and the cloud forming the word “sex” I haven’t seen, but the so called “erection” from the priest in The Little Mermaid when Prince Eric is getting married, is really his knees. Weird. Last year during the summer I went to a barbeque party in the park. There were many outdoor activities including a Disney Princess cosmo jump. Mind you, the person who’s birthday was not a child. They were turning 30 years old. She grew up loving Disney all their life. Her favorite character is Dopey from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. As I looked across the lawn I saw Belle, Cinderella, Jasmine, Snow White and Aurora. No Ariel. It pissed me off. Where the hell is ARIEL!? She married Prince Eric, she IS a princess! I was surprised because Ariel is the most important princess of ALL! Walt Disney was a part of the cult that based in the book/film The Da Vinci Code,(The main character in the book and film wore a Mickey Mouse watch!) that believed that the Holy Grail was a woman (Jesus’ wife Mary Magdalene). That’s the reason why all of the main characters are female and Walt Disney symbolized Ariel as Mary Magdalene hence the red hair. As you now understand she’s very important and I was upset when that importance was not represented as Walt Disney would have liked. Those BASTARDS.