Mind overrun with thoughts of failure. Heart races. Body shakes. Hands sweat. Chest tightens. Can't breathe. Feel dizzy. Overwhelmed. Where do I start?
This time of the semester is the same every semester. I used to do it during midterms too! I freak out. I have panic attacks whenever I start to work on my finals. It's not like I can flunk. I have an A+ in one class and a B in the other. I haven't been on the honor roll for a while though. I miss the acknowledgment of my hard work.
I reread the finals, and can't even decide which one I want to start first. Again and again and again. I check my grades online. I have 85.5 points out of 80 in one class... The final is worth 20 points. I haven't had an A+ since one of my earlier psych and soc classes. *sigh* Can I get an A in the other class? I have an 86.93%. The final is worth 15%. Wow, that essay is going to be a bitch to pull off.
I have done this daily for the past two weeks. Then I take a xanax (0.25mg, but it works for me) right before the panic attack really hits and I'm curled in a ball somewhat hysterical because my chest hurts and I'm hyperventilating.
It doesn't really matter what my grades are. I do this every time. I think I should start with the xanax first, and maybe I'll actually finish something before the due date.... April 30th. TWO DAYS?! Oh... ouch.... where's the xanax?!
Although the reasons for the attacks were different. None-the-less, I still had to take xanax for the panic attacks. One thing I can say is diaphramic breathing....I know your probably asking what I am talking about, breath with your stomach basically. Also, one thing that helped once I already had the chest pain, if you can do it get into a hot tub/jaccuzi, if not just a bath full of reasonably warm/hot water. It relaxes the muscles which will help you relax and then you should be able to go about your business for a while. Also your mind set helps too, you have to put your self in the mind set that no matter what you get on these finals becuase your grades are awesome and you are obviously smart and will be able to get them done. No worries, you will do it!!!
The others are rare though, luckily.
Thanks for the advice. No matter how convinced I am that I will do ok, and that I'll get a good grade, and that I do know the material, I freak when I actually think about it.... It takes me a couple of hours to compose myself before I do sit down and get real work accomplished. It's weird, I'm so confident about everything else I do. I guess it lies in the judgment. I have to rely on someone else to understand my perspective.
I'm half done with one final and still only have notes down on the other. I tend to work pretty well under pressure though.
-Sonja :)
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
I just went through this last week. This is my last week of class for the semester, but everything was due last week (our graduate program likes to reserve the last class beer, and no one is in the mood after finishing up their final papers, projects, and presentations). I had set a goal of getting 100% in all my classes, but one of my groups missed a point and a half on a project, so I had to do some reevaluating of my goals. I hyperventilated a bit.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman