No one likes to have challenges in their lives; however, stress is normal. How we handle challenges when they arise -- particularly the significant ones -- says a lot about who we are and about human psychology in general.
Resilience is the ability to adapt to and overcome challenges. It is something that has fascinated me both personally and professionally, an interesting aspect of the human condition. I know I have faced some overwhelming odds and overcome them only to emerge a much happier, grateful, thankful, peaceful person with a much more healthy outlook. Why? It is something I am trying to figure out to better understand the people with which I share this Earth..including myself.
The thing that most fascinates me is why are some people resilient? Why do some people face horrific circumstances yet emerge optimistic, positive, and hopeful while others facing the same or similar conditions emerge hopeless, pessimistic, bitter, depressed, or even commit suicide? Is it personality? Is it nature or nurture? Is it a specific incident that changed their outlook? What do the resilient people have that the others lack?
I have read a lot, done much introspection and examined my own progression and those of others -- both who were and were not resilient. I've read Viktor Frankl's book on the holocaust and his questions regarding resilience. I've even read the boring psychological research that drones on and one endlessly and is often as exciting (and just as helpful) as watching paint dry. In the end, I think it has been my own experience which has led to my personal growth on this topic.
It's inevitable to live and not have experiences happen. The important factor is in how we deal with them. I think it is the difference between being a victim and a survivor, of passively letting something happen to oneself and reacting versus being proactive, empowering oneself and seeking ways to thrive despite adversity. Like so many things in life, there is not just one but many things which play a role; it's rare that something is black or white but usually one of countless shades of gray. I think personality plays a role, as does genetic predisposition, who one encounters, personal situation at a given time and personal experience.
Having overcome many challenges, I am with the majority in my opinion that -- put bluntly -- hard times suck. I think all things happen for a reason. I believe that we are given challenges to be tested and without them we cannot fully appreciate the good times because there would be no point of comparision...to be "good" or "bad" there has to be contrast. I know I am no more grateful than when a challenge has just been overcome and my situation has just improved; once again I have just survived & - whoooo hoooo! -- let the good times roll! I am grateful for the resilience I have learned. The real challenge is for those whom have no found resilience...how to help them to it without some life-shattering experience to force them to it?
Sadly, it is to this last question I have no answer.
Love and support. THat's all I needed, personally.