You know when we look at a failed relationship we look
at all the things that went wrong, and start to point
fingers, mostly to try to divert the attention away
from ourselves. It can be in any type of
relationship, but i reffering to the type of romance
so bear with me. anyways when we take into
consideration all bad we tend to forget all thats
good.....and its about quality not quantity. you
could name bad instances youve had with that one
person, but now compare it to one great time, and
which sticks out more. think about the time you first
kissed....think about the time you first said i love
you.....think about the way you felt when two lost
hands found each other and then you looked into each
others eyes and smiled. now compare them and youll
see that they dont compare....those blissful moments
are far greater for the soul than any measely fuck
up....but dont get it twisted....a small fuck up and a
big fuck up are two separate things. i have a come up
with a set of guidelines which may be altered as the
reader sees fit but i tend to see these as the best
ways for me to function in a relationship and
out.....and if you agree great.....
Getting into a relationship.....
1. Never bring up your ex....if your partner asks say
as little as possible and try not to demean your ex
simply put it things did not work out.
2. Talk....communication is key, whats not being said
is not getting heard, and be honest because the
conversation will be brought up again in a different
way and you may get you shit called out on!
3. Honesty is always the best policy....if they ask
you a question give them the honest answer, if they
cant accept it then in a sense theyre not accepting
you, if you like to drink say that shit, if you like
to have sex more than once on a daily basis say that
shit, because if you tell them nothing and they later
find out your like this and dont like it well shits
gonna be fucked up, it could have been avoided had
they known what youre about.
4. Try as hard as you possibly can to not be so
double standard. Animostiy will come between the two
of you because one can do what the other cant and itll
never work. Also try not to be so vendictive. If you
care about the person and they care about you, then
you being hurt is enough for them to see they fucked
up and stop and if they dont stop, reconsider your
status with them.
In a relationship.......
5. Its not about whos right or wrong, when you come
to that point where youve mentioned you love this
person, its not about who did or didnt do what, or who
said this.....its about coming to acceptance and
saying yes you did do it, and in spite of it i love
you still! there should be no finger pointing because
no ones perfect and pointing out someone is not gonna
solve the issue, realizing there is an issue and
stating now what are WE gonna do to make it right
between us is the way to go.
6. Cheating should never be an option. If you feel
that you could do better when your in a relationship,
then put frankly you shouldnt be in it. Call that
person and say youre not for me. this goes back to
number 3, being honest. dont settle for less, at
least in your view, but at the same time dont let
someone linger on thinking theyre your one and only
when you could care less.
7. Time allocation is vital. You want to spend as
much QUALITY time with the person you care about.
Whether its picking them up from work and driving them
home or spending a romantic weekend together, pick out
your time. Now QUANTITY DOES NOT ALWAYS EQUAL
QUALITY, and if it does congrats you are one lucky
person, but if you feel that youve had too much of a
good thing, dont be afraid to say hey me and my
friends were gonna go out, or i think im just goin to
chill today. dont take offense if you hear it, it
simply means they want personal time, but just know
that if they really care about you, theyll think of
you only strengthing your bond and the next time you
see each other itll be like seeing each other for the
first time.
8. Never listen to your friends when in a
relationship, especially if theyre single. Take note
of what they have to say when getting into a
relationship, but once youre in it forget it. they
should have no influence on what you and your partner
do because they are not dealing with the consequences.
AND TRUE FRIENDS WILL NEVER TELL YOU WHAT YOU SHOULD
DO, a true friend will always give you something to
think about, but leave it up to you in the case of you
asking for opinion.
9. Have sex when the both of you are ready. Sex
should not dictate the position or status in a
relationship, however it should be a instrument of
pleasure among two souls that seek to their sexual
equal or opposite which would make them whole,
whatever floats your boat. (keep in mind this is when
youre in a relationship, casual sex has nothing to do
with this)
a. Once youve had sex and it wasnt good, talk!
it goes back to communication, and whats not being
said isnt getting heard and therefore not getting
done, so talk!
b. If you have sex more than you talk, youre in
trouble, lets just say the two of you have great sex,
you decide to marry young....when you get older and
things dont quite spark like they used to you better
have something else to take its place or youll be one
unhappy old fart! So conversate, while sex if you
like but talk!
c. Make up sex is always great, but if its
because you or the other has sex with someone
else....uh uh.....not good because your minds focused
on the deed but after, you return back to reality
where they or you still fucked someone else and
nothing was solved, which goes back to lesson 2 and 6.
10. Never, ever, ever let shit become abusive,
whether its physical, mental, or emotional because
once it does then someone feels superior than the
other and relationship is about give and take and
equality, not competitiveness. Dont let your ego or
pride stand in the way of love, love transcends all of
that bullshit so throw it out the window, or get your
ass out the kitchen, cuz youre not cooking up shit but
problems!
Breaking up.....
11. If its over its over, theres no point in calling
names, putting someone down, or on the spot. If it
really is over for you, youd be left with nothing to
say other than its over. if you still have something
to say, dont say it to your friends and family, say it
to the person to whom it concerns.
12. Gifts and stuff you took or have is a very
sensitive subject. if they have something and you
want it back, say it. and if they want something back
respect their wishes, and if all it takes is to give
back that one thing just to get them out of your hair,
trust me itll be worth it, give it back and they
should have no reason to come to you again, and vice
versa once you get all your stuff back you should
really have no reason to come to that person, should
you!
13. When there are mutual friends involved be very
careful with your wording about you know who....you
never want your friends to feel as if they have to
choose sides now.....know there are two sides to every
story and theyve heard them both....never use them to
get ammunition for a comeback. let things be and
hopefully everything can remain as peaceful as theyre
gonna be.
14. Keep what happened between you and that someone
between you and that someone, but if you must tell,
dont mention names and dont imply someone by "im not
gonna say ANY names BUT" because everyone know who
youre talking about.
15. Sex changes everything, dont think that it
doesnt, once you have it and you break up, there is
never JUST FRIENDS. There was a connection the two of
you felt on a deeper level transcending anything you
know to that point, to put it "lets just be
friends....." NO!!!! you cant!! it wont work! if
you can wow, but ive never met people that are still
friends with people they had sex with while IN a
relationship and have no feelings whatsoever for them,
dont lie to yourselves you still have something which
goes back to lesson2 which is talk!
16. Tell your family and non mutual friends its none
of their business how it ended or why. they might
just be looking out for you and its cool but things
are hard enough, you dont need someone to tell you i
told you they were no good for you, or you could do
better.....it adds insult to the posistion youre in
now which is single (evidently you cant do better
because you feel like shit and have no one in the mean
time) and you already know they werent good for you,
you dont need anyone to pour salt on the wounds you
consider self infilicted anyways because it was you
that decided to be in the relationship in the first
place.
Getting back together.....
17. I say this with the greatest caution, ONLY GET
BACK TOGETHER IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET BACK
TOGETHER!!!!!!! Not because its what youre
accustomed to, not because the sex was great, not
because you feel that thats the best you can do, not
because you have history, BUT BECAUSE WITH ALL
SINCERITY IN YOUR HEART IN YOUR MIND WITH ALL YOUR
BEING THIS IS THE PERSON THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND NO
ONE WILL COMPARE! notice how it says NO ONE which
means at least have one person for contrast.
18. If you have a doubt in your mind that says its
not goin to work....ITS NOT GOIN TO WORK. YOU MUST
RELEASE THE PAST IN ORDER TO GET A FUTURE. if you
have this mindset that its not goin to work, you will
find everything little thing that wrong with it to
make it not work. and youll pick at it until your
intuition reveals itself as correct, when really you
were biased towards getting back together from the get
go. Forgive and forget, thats not necessarily saying
forget the fucked up shit that happened, its say
embrace the fucked up shit that happened, say it
happened, and then say but were still fighting!! WERE
STILL HERE AND NOTHING CAN DETOUR US FROM OUR DREAM TO
BE TOGETHER!
19. Going back to the family and friends, dont let
them be the deciding factor in your decision. I
guarantee you all they want is your happiness and if
being with this person makes you happiest how can they
say no!? They may not agree with it, but they will
respect it, and also everyones had their own
turbulence in a relationship so anyone is no one to
talk! They are not going to be on their death bed
saying you shouldnt have got back with them....they
are gonna be saying did i live my life to my wishes
and do i feel that i am as content as i could be....so
in the end you really only have your self to please.
Oh and about the awkewardness when youre with that
someone and your friends and family remember everyone
is on pins and needles, the two of you especially, but
at least youre together and thats all that matters
right!
20. Above all else make sure youre happy. thats
what matters. if your happy with it, itll work!
because happiness is contageous....if youre not
content with what you have it will get noticed and
shit will go array! be happy with yourself, and if
that person makes you happy then damnit! DO IT, but
remember CUPID said "love can not dwell where there is
doubt!" and though im not a Valentine fan, i do
believe in that quote, and do believe that in order to
make thngs work you have to fight for it. No great
battle was given, they were fought to the end and
after blood sweat and tears, there was triumph! Im
not saying be dumb and go back to that asshole or
bitch that did you shady, im saying if they are what
you want and you cant see yourself having anything
else in this world that will make you feel special,
including being single, then go. what are you waiting
for. go get em, but if you doubt them, you doubt the
the values on which you base your love with your
partner, if you feel your humanity, your heart, your
soul is being jeopardized constantly when your with
this person, then leave it be! This is Matt signing
out thank you for reading!
