American Pride...And Shame

When I grew up, I was very proud to be an American. At the local airshow my heart would swell with pride as the song "I'm Proud To Be An American" played. I dreamed of flying a fighter plane off of an aircraft carrier when I grew up. I watched "Top Gun" so many times i wore out VHS copies of it without number. I spent every weekend for 10 years chasing historic warplanes, dreaming of all the brave pilots who flew in WWII twisting & shooting down enemies so I could know freedom as I do. Then I grew up.

I became increasingly aware of the impact our country has globally; it's influence on everything from buisness to media is staggering. I learned of sweatshops, Westernized impositions of idealized beauty & the extent people went to achieve it, the motivation for war. I saw how it was largely not the politicans' kids who go off to war to die, but kids of people who are economically challenged in the hope of getting an education & achieving something better. I began to see things that were done in the name of the people of the United States both locally & globally I was horrified by, deeply ashamed of. I began to be ashamed of being an American...deeply.

Sadly, so many people -- Iraqi and American -- are dying or missing out on their families to fight a war not supported by many. Soldiers come home after seeing unspeakable atrocities -- the number of servicepeople who come home from Iraq committing suicide or suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome is deeply troubling.

Now I am proud to be an American but ashamed of many of the things which are done in the name of myself and other Americans. The damage done to our reputation internationally in the last decade alone will take decades to repair. Domestically, despite what the politicians say we are in a recession. In my hometown I see for sale signs swinging on houses, people unable to get loans, foreclosures, the price of gas skyrocketing, social services struggling to meet the growing needs with fewer resources each year. On the news I see an educational program designed to leave no child behind that leaves all children behind so politicians can point to numbers, say "no problem here" & divert funding to bolster buisness or build more malls. I don't agree with how materialism, capitalism and pursuit of monetary superiority by big buisness have replaced caring about people.

I'm not a protester. I don't do sit-ins, wave signs, or shout slogans with my fist raised. I do what I can so the powers that be in the US Government hear my voice and how dissatisfied I am. I write letters, sign petitions. I vote in every election no matter how insignificant the issues on the ballot might be; much research goes into each vote I cast. I volunteer my time and donate what I can to charitable organizations whom I support. In the past 5 years, I have become the change which I wish to see in the world...or lacking that, at least the country in which I reside.

Most of all, I still believe in the Constitution, in inalienable rights and personal freedoms. I still believe in the power of the people, the power of education and non-violence to change the world for a better place for all. I still believe the United States can be a great country and whose people largely are, even if I don't agree with the policies imposed by a government whose doctrine I do not believe in nor support.

In the end, I am proud to be an American. I just don't agree with the direction in which we are going and do what I can to change that.