Split Emotions

I dial her number, the number that will continue to plague my memory for eternity. It rings three times:
“Hello?” Laura said.
“How could you do this, Laura?” I said.
“How could I do what?” She quickly rebutted.
“Don’t give me that.”
“I never said we were going out.” She replied.
“Are you serious?”
“We were together, but never going out.” She retorted.
“So, you just say I love you to just anybody? You just throw around that phrase like it’s no big deal?” I asked.
“We were together, but never going out.” Laura repeated.
“Whatever, I don’t want to hear it.” I hung up the phone.
What does ‘together’ mean anyway? Is that just something she says to make herself feel better about her actions? How could that girl cheat on me? After all we’ve been through. The grotesque act kept replaying in my mind like some broken record player stuck on play. It was just last week that our relationship started to steady itself. I mean, these past three months did have some turbulence but we always prevailed. I don’t think I’m ever going to figure it out.
So many thoughts flooded to my head after that violent way of ending the conversation. I sat in my room staring at my cell phone hoping she would call me back just so I could reject her call. What occurred over the weekend had spurred many emotions. I was angry yet sad, restless yet apprehensive. I could barely stand without shaking.
A few moments passed, and I decided not to think about it the situation for the time being. I put my cell phone on silent and tossed it on my bed. I looked outside my window; it was a nice sunny day in June. I put on a hat and left the house. While walking on the boulevard, I decided to stop by Dan’s house. I approached the door and rang the doorbell. His mother opened the door.
“Hey Michael, how are you?” She said.
“I’m fine. Is Dan home?” I asked.
“Yes he is, let me get him for you.” She went upstairs.
Shortly after, Dan appeared in the threshold.
“What’s up dude?” He said.
“Nothing much, you?” I replied.
“Same, just being bored out of my mind.” Dan laughed.
“Great, so that means we can hang out?” I asked.
“Uh, sure. What did you have in mind?” He replied.
“Let’s go to the Danbury mall.”
“Alright, but you’re driving the next time.” He said.
Dan informs his mother of our plans and we get into the car.
“Is something wrong?” Dan asked.
“What do you mean by that?” I replied.
“ I don’t know… It’s just that you don’t normally show up at my house wanting to go somewhere randomly.”
“Eh.” I muttered.
“Laura problems?” He asked with conviction.
“Man, I just don’t know what to do anymore.” I said.
“What’d she do this time?”
“What didn’t she do?” I laughed.
“She cheated on you?” Dan asked.
“Yes.”
“How’d you find out?”
“Straight from the source, and Laura admitted to it”
“Who was it?”
“Does it even matter?” I exclaimed.
“I guess you’re right, but are you going to take her back?”
I paused for a moment. It was such an obvious question, which I so haphazardly overlooked. I guess subconsciously I thought I would just resume the relationship after she apologized.
“Well, kinda’…” I said.
“You’re kidding, right? You can’t take her back.” Dan retorted.
“Why?”
“BECAUSE SHE CHEATED ON YOU!” Dan screamed.
“Relax man, I didn’t ask for your advice in the first place.” I said calmly.
“I was in the same position as you before. I had to make the same exact decision. You can’t rationally see both sides because you’re the one caught up in the relationship. I was just like you Mike. I ignored what people said to me because I thought what I had was love, and let me tell you, it wasn’t. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You can’t change the way people are. That’s just how it is. See, you’re hoping for the best but the chances are against you.” Dan said.
“I understand what you’re saying but my heart is telling me differently.” I replied As Dan took the exit to get to the mall he followed up his speech:
“What I’m trying to say is just please make an effort to see your position from another viewpoint other than your heart. When someone cheats, you just can’t take them back again. All it does is gives them an incentive to do it again, knowing that you won’t leave them.”
“Thanks, Dr. Phil. Let’s stop talking about this and go into the mall, I’m starved.” I said.
We entered the mall and carried out our usual antics. Eventually getting thrown out of the mall by security.
We blasted music on the way home. The only words that were exchanged between Dan and me were when he dropped me off. He told me to remember what he said. I took it in deep consideration, I mean, what could I do? I loved this girl, but then she went and betrayed me. This is going to be such a hard thing to overcome.
At that moment, I realized I left my cell phone on the bed. I picked it up and saw four missed calls from Laura. I decided to call her back.
“Hey.” She said.
“Hi.”
“We have to talk.” She stated.
“Yes we do.”
“Mikey, you know I love you.”
“Laura, you probably did at one point.” I replied.
“No, I still do.”
At this point, I knew what Dan said was right. You can never change someone’s mentality. Although I really didn’t want to throw away our relationship, it had to end. Even if my heart was telling different. I don’t want to get hurt again.
“Laura, it’s over.” I said
“Okay, if that’s what you want…”
“It’s not just what I want, it’s the way it has to be.” I interrupted her.
Silence took over the conversation for a few minutes.
“Bye Laura. I’m sorry you did this to our relationship.”
I hung up the phone. Nothing is ever easy in life. Will I regret what I did in a few days? Probably, but what I did had to be done. I didn’t want to risk falling any harder. I lost someone that probably never ‘loved’ me. Love is an excuse to get hurt.