I found the below article online (www.momscape.com) and thought it was important to know that not all consequences from sex are negative. I want to note that the sex talked about below is in the context of a loving relationship, not random partners. But no where does it claim that to be in a loving relationship you must also be married.
Quick quiz: Would you rather run 75 miles or have sex three times per week for a year? Research shows that both activities burn the same number of calories. (7,500, to be exact).
We often think that something that feels good can’t possibly be good for us. Now it’s time to think again.
Sex in a loving, intimate relationship has numerous health benefits. In women, for example, the sexual act triggers the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin promotes feelings of affection and triggers that nurturing instinct. In men, sex encourages the flow of testosterone, which strengthens bones and muscles and helps transport DHEA, a hormone that may be important in the function of the body’s immune system.
Paul Pearsall, Ph.D., author of Superimmunity, also maintains that sex in a loving relationship helps the immune system by increasing the flow of certain chemicals in the body.
Hugh O’Neill, editor of Men’s Health magazine, recently listed some health benefits of sex, as well. Regular sex is regular exercise and has similar benefits, including improved cholesterol levels and increased circulation. Men’s Health also reported that men who have sex at least three times each week may have a decreased risk of developing prostate problems.
Sex, like exercise, releases endorphins. Endorphins contribute to the runner’s high and diminishes pain levels.
An active sex life may help us live longer, too. Dr. David Weeks, a clinical neuropsychologist at Scotland’s Royal Edinburgh Hospital, conducted a study of 3,500 people ranging in age from 18 to 102. Weeks concluded that sex actually slows the aging process. (For more information, see Secrets of the Superyoung, by Dr. David Weeks)
Sexual therapists remind us that frequent sex is a form of exercise. And feeling secure in a relationship leads to feeling happier, which could lead to greater health…and a younger look.
In fact, these studies indicate that intimacy plays a key role in the health benefits of sex. A promiscuous sexual relationship may actually produce an opposite effect by introducing a sense of anxiety and fear.
In spite of all these health benefits and the sheer pleasure of the act, Americans may still need a boost. At least one-third of American couples report “inhibited sexual desire,” according to The Masters and Johnson Institute.
Sex therapists say sex acts on the principal of “use it or lose it.” So, for your heart, mind, and soul, the best advice may be to "Just do it."
This reminds me of a quote from a centerian (100+ aged people) that when asked what was his secret to long life he replied: "Women and wine" or some such thing to effect. :-) I also remember reading an article that masturbation offers similar benefits you mentioned for men. Masturbating too much can actually become a chemical addiction, but you would have to be really at it at every opportune time. I don't know if the same applies for women and masturbation though.
This is all fine, but I think the negatives definitely outweigh the positives when it comes to sex"
-STDs
-pregnancy
-emotional issues
-sin (for premarital & homosexual sex)
-bad reputation often times
But when you are in a loving relationship everything but "sin" is taken away. And sin is a concept not everyone lives by. So I don't see the negatives.
Not necessarily. Being in a loving relationship doesn't guarantee that you won't get pregnant of get an STD.
If you and your partner are tested for STDs and remain in a loving, committed relationship there is no threat from any STD. And pregnancy is easily preventable.
I agree with you on that. And there were only five negatives listed by the reader... you listed many more benefits. I see the benefits as outweighing the negatives.
If we're talking about a loving relationship, emotional issues won't really be a problem.
The sin issue depends on the individual in question. Not everyone thinks that premarital and homosexual sex are sins.
Bad reputation? Again, it's a possibility, but there's a difference between some guy or girl sleeping around with everything that moves and sleeping with a designated lover.
STDs and pregnancies are always risks. But, if the relationship is open, the couple will in all likelihood discuss the issues beforehand. And if they're homosexual, they won't have to worry about it.
A homosexual couple doesn't have to worry about STDS? Um, I think you should check out the facts because that is completely incorrect.
I am pretty sure that reference was to pregnancy not STDs.
You've got to be kidding. :(
She said this was in the case of a loving, monagomous relationship so no those don't count. And not everyone thinks premaritial sex is a sin, those are usually the type of people this article would be trying to convince.
And I don't know if "often times" is an opportune phrase to use - many people in intimate, longterm relationships have sex frequently and their reputations are not ruined.
Not if you are smart about it:
- Before having sex with someone, both get a STD check.
- Use a combination of birth control: condoms, pills, and/or foam.
- Sin (premarital and homosexual): this is a purely subjective matter.
- Emotional issues: depends on context and nature of the relationship.
- Bad reputation: depends on your community, plus if you and your lover keep it private, it will stay private, and also, I am reluctant to not do anything simply because others might think badly of me.
Personally, not having sex until you get married is like buying a house without ever actually visiting it. Sex is not everything, but it can be a very spiritual and loving and pleasurable experience. You might end up with someone who is an absolutely lousy lover and while that is not the most important thing in the world perhaps, it IS a part of the relationship and something to consider just as the person's financial habits is something to consider in a relationship.
-Even with an STD check a person can cheat on the other person, get an STD, then give the STD to that person
-I disagree with contraceptives completely, but:
-Birth control pills: MANY side effects ranging from weight gain, to cervical cancer (oh, and I need my wisdom teeth out and the doctor said there was 50% chance of getting a complication called dry socket if you were taking a birth control pill...so it probably effects other surgeries and healing too)
-Condoms: They can break; many people put them on wrong, deeming them ineffective
I don't think you need to consider the sex or financial habits. Look, if the person you marry is your only sexual partner, then even if they are lousy, how would you know? It's your only partner so it would probably seem fine. And there is no way I wouldn't marry someone due to lack of money, or excessive money.
In terms of your birth control pill argument, it's true that every medication or pill can have negative side effects.
But the majority of the time, it proves to be effective.
Your wisdom tooth argument isn't exclusive to the birth control pill. There are other medications that can be helpful for those who take them that also have the potential to complicate other medical procedures. Do we want to make those drugs unavailable as well?
In terms of condoms ..
In the United States, most studies of breakage caused by fault in the condom itself have shown breakage rate is less than 2 condoms out of every 100 condoms. Studies also indicate that condoms slip off the penis in about 1-5% of acts of vaginal intercourse and slip down (but not off) about 3-13% of the time.20 (taken from www.avert.org)
The condom is more effective than it isn't. If you don't want to make that gamble, fine. But that doesn't mean that other people should have to hold back as well.
In terms of marrying or not marrying someone because of money ... that doesn't really have that much to do with premarital sex. Maybe I'm missing a portion of the conversation.
-Even with an STD check a person can cheat on the other person, get an STD, then give the STD to that person
This can also happen if you are abstinent until marriage and your spouse cheats on you. Just something to keep in mind.
There is no proven link between birth control pills and cervical cancer, and not everyone gains weight. If you were on them you would know. So dont talk about something you dont understand.
There are positive sides to birth control, besides the obvious. Some women's doctors put them on birth control because they have terrible problems with menstruation, and the hormones in The Pill help to ease these problems. Some types of The Pill are proven to clear skin as well. And some forms of the pill are proven to help women LOSE weight.
Trust me, if your partner is lousey you WILL know regardless of you prior sexual encounters (or lack thereof).
And it's not the amount of money but how the money you have is handled. If your mate spent every penny you had on their hobby or were so cheap you aren't allowed to eat out... The point is compatibility. If you have differing sexual desires and don't discuss or explore them before you commit you may end up in an unsatisfactory or unfulfilling marriage.
I totally second that!
Well put.
I speak from experience if they are bad in bed you'll know regardless of past inexperience. There for I agree you need to know if you are compatible in bed and other areas of your lives if you are to marry.
I personally find it very annoying when someone comes out and begins to paint Sex as the most terrible act people can do. Peppermint Frost, if you don't agree with the practices of your fellow human beings, that is all fine and good. But don't try to preach to my girlfriend and I. Glorify your opinions in your mind, but please do not try to brand the rest of us with them.
I agree. Sex should not be thought of as a sin.
I agree wholeheartedly. God made it pleasureable for a reason.
Well, here is a little interesting tidbit for us all sex-lovers.
It is not purely for reproduction - pleasure is a VERY LARGE proponent of it
How do I know?
Easy. Until someone can prove to me the reproductive use of the clitoris, it will be forever be known as a female organ that is purely used for pleasure ;)
Seriously. There has been no purpose of the clit except for pleasure.
AND we're the only known organisms (besides pigs) that achieve orgasm. :)
Great point!
Apparently, it makes your skin more radiant and hair more shiny...or something to that effect. Not to mention that it takes away some symptoms of a cold.
But I don't advocate the use in random partners, no. Like it said, a LOVING relationship, being that there is love involved. Pregnancy...use a condom. STD's...use a condom. Emotional issues...don't do it until you and your partner are, in fact, sure that you love each other! Bad reputation...only comes when you have a bunch of random partners. There are solutions to those problems...duh.
"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity"
-Albert Einstein
I agree with the benefits of sex. In addition to the health etc, its just another something special that you share with your partner. Sleeping around is kinda wrong and dangerous, and if your religious beliefs prohibit it, don't then. But its a wonderful, natural part of life. Enjoy it.
At least be in love. But if your Christian as I am, I believe in the Bible. That's kind of the main reason for not having sex before marriage. Afterall, I'll love the person when they are my fiance but I'm still going to wait. And another question. 75 miles in a year, or a week. Cause 75 miles a year is not that much.
-Hutch
"What can I say, that can explain, all this time I'm loving life..."
-The Starting Line
Where in the bible does it say to not have premarital sex?
Thessalonians 4:3-8: "This is the will of God, your holiness: that you refrain from immortality, that each of you know how to acquire a wife for himself not in lustful passion as do the Gentiles who do not know God; . . .For god did not call us to impurity but to holiness . . ."
God labels all sexual conduct outside of marriage as sin.
Corinthians 6:9-10: "Do you not know that the unjust will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor boy prostitutes nor practicing homosexuals . . .will inherit the kingdom of God."
Corinthians 6:18-20: "Avoid immortality. . . .Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body."
Thank you.
Point out the exact line that says premarital sex is a sin because I just don't see it. I not trying to be rude I just don't.
"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom
of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters,
nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor
covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will
inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Co 6:9-10)
so based on that....we're all going to hell! Everyone interprets the bible to match their own beliefs. To me, the statement "that each of you know how to acquire a wife for himself not in lustful passion as do the Gentiles who do not know God" means to choose someone you love not because of the pleasure you receive from that person. Webster's dictionary interprets lust as
1obsolete a: pleasure, delight b: personal inclination : wish
2: usu. intense or unbridled sexual desire : lasciviousness
3 a: an intense longing : craving b: enthusiasm, eagerness
Many historians believe that Jesus himself had a "loving relationship" with Mary Magdalene. Did his Father view him differently because a lot of people view her as a prostitute? If that is the case then it becomes the old addage "Do as I say, not as I do" right? I'm not going to get into religion because that is not the topic here. I just wanted to touch base with that statement that you are a bad person if you have pre-marital sex. It's all in what a person believes. I would never buy a car before test driving it first!
75 miles a year -- I would still rather have sex 3 times a week ;)
me too
me three!
Or both... having sex three times a week AND running 75 miles a year. Extra health benefits.
sex is good!
you can say that again.
There is this common assertion made that if you only have one partner you won't know they are bad. I don't know if they've heard of this great conception. It's called ORGASM! Also, if it is painful or uncomfortable, then most people are smart enough to realize that that is not 'great.' The logic is so flawed. I would, for once, like them to actually use the logical capabilities of their brain to actually form a coherent, defendable argument. But, of course, that won't happen, because it is just based off of misplaced religious ideology, and their own feelings of guilt over their sexuality.
I think sex in a loving relationship is a fabulous thing and healthy for the relationship. It helps to keep the couple close to each other and is a fun thing they can take part in together. And if you can lose a couple pounds in the process, even better!
definately!
I would much rather run the 75 miles!! I'd take that over sex ANY DAY (and I'm 100% serious). Not everyone sees sex as loving, fun, or exercise. While those who do not have any desire to have sex are severely outnumbered by those who do, I honestly do not believe sex would bring me any closer (er, emotionally) to my partner.
This news might be great for people who enjoy sex, but I feel like sex therapists especially seem to believe that nobody's social or physical life can be healthy without sex.
I can be just as healthy and infinitely more happy without having sex.
Perhaps you can, but you will have to strive to create the happiness that comes naturally because of the chemical reactions intimacy creates.
Have you ever really loved someone else and they reciprocate exactly? I assume that you haven't really found this and experienced sex with them. I say this because after experiencing such a connection/bond one would not make the comments you have made. If this is the case, I would suggest you experience such a connection before making ultimate decisions based on such.
What do you see sex as (if not fun or loving)?
Have I ever been in a mutually loving, romantic relationship? Yes, I have. Actually, I'm still currently in one right now.
Have I ever had sex? No, and I'd like to never have sex. I don't want to experience it, I don't want to try it out and see...
What do I see sex as? For others, it can be fun and loving. Sure. For me, I see it as boring, a bit disgusting, and completely pointless since I'm going to adopt and NEVER reproduce.
I can't explain everything in a response, but I highly suggest you read my post about what I am: I'm asexual.
Thanks for linking me to your blog. It was quite interesting to read about asexuality. I have heard of this, but never dove deep enough to try to fully understand it. I assumed that it is just as viable as homosexuality and left it at that -- you know, different strokes for different folks.
I agree. And 75 miles in an entire year is nothing. I probably run way more than that in an entire year, just from when I go running with my dog.
hey i did a posting liek this weeks ago
This post is from February...