My future brother-in-law is a person I respect and like. A good dad to his kids and a pretty cool guy when we're all just sitting around shooting the breeze, but there are times when I could smack him.
He has a problem with the idea of budgeting. He likes to spend money on stupid stuff and make everyone else pick up the pieces latter because he can't figure out what happened. He lives on my future father-in-law's property in his own trailer with his wife, 1 1/2 year old son, and 7 month old daughter. He works and she doesn't because she rerfuses too. He doesn't make that much per hour but what money they do get, they are out buying silly stuff or things that don't matter.
Example: they had an almost $400 electric bill (don't ask me how) and didn't have the money to pay it all off but he went out and put a new exhaust system on his van. the van didn't need a new exhaust... nothing was wrong with what was there before but he just liked these new pipes and stuff cuz they were cool. So his mom ended up having to pay for most of the electric bill.
This occurs on a regular basis. They talk of being so broke they can't buy groceries or pay their bills so they get the parents (on fixed incomes) to pay for it and then you find them out at Wal-mart on a shopping spree. Just last night his daughter was teething and they didn't have any tylenol. I couldn't see her suffereing so i ran out and got her some but he was alos talking about how he was going to be getting a new gaming system. He wanted me to price the new Wii next time that I was at work.
His wife is about as bad if not worse. She has champagne taste on a beer budget. She wants to go out to the store or drive all over every day of the week. Has she even seen gas prices lately I wonder? She's just an utter idiot but that's a whole other story. The catch is that if anything happens to the parents, it would fall to my boyfriend and I to take care of things, and I really don't plan on supporting their stupidity. If it was just them having a hard time than it wouldn't be a problem, we'd help out every cent we could. This is different and is a bit nerve racking when you think that we'll end up with "custody" of them if anything every happens to my future mother-in-law and/or father-in-law. They won't like me than I can assure it.
I wonder...do any of the local schools offer budgeting or financial classes? Maybe that would help out, because obviously these parents don't know when to spend their money.
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Mind Control is Easier Than You Think
My bouyfriend is 19 years older than me... and this is his brothers second marriage. He already has a 16 year old daughter that he's paying support on. He's in his mid to late thirties. He's not just a young guy that is being "young and dumb" as the phrase goes. He just has been babied by his mommy for too many years I guess
It sounds like being left in your "custody" would be the best thing for them! They need a dose of tough love! I mean, why WOULD they learn to budget, if they know his parents will always bail them out? They get to have their cake and eat it too.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Tough love is something they need and my boyfriend and I have already made a few clear moves. We've bought a car from him (he's atleast honest and a good mechanic) and the money went straight to the parents... That way bills are paid not stupidity. I help the babies out but I won't help them very much at all. Its their own problem if they are out of smokes or pop. I don't feel that the kids need to pay the price of their irresponisbility though.
I think that's a good approach. The kids are lucky they have reasonable people looking out for them.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
If there is something I am pationate about its kids... Hence my Elementary Education Major Special Education Minor... They'll always be safe and taken care of. No matter what their parents do.
I'm getting my master's in El Ed! You have to be passionate about it. It's true.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I don't know if it was my inability to have children despite my overwhelming love for all children. If it was my "activist mind set" to set things right - especially for those who couldn't fight for themselves at all (children). It could have been the fact that ever since I was little I was a child magnet. No matter where I went they would be drawn to me. I walk through a store and children I have never met before try to get me to hold them or pick them up and push their parents out of the way to watch me as long as they can. I am about kids... I'm called Mama Goose... It's what I have become... and if it means doing this than I will forever treasure it (despite kind of hating the name... haha)
But it doesn't matter what caused it...just that you are inspired to do the work!
I too am a kid magnet. They just love me. It almost seems like a responsibility or a destiny. I have been charged with the future of the nation's (or at least the neighborhood's) children. I tried to pick another career, but this is the only one that seems to fit!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Its neat to hear the same words come form somebody else! WOW! I'm not a complete freak... haha! My ex's kids still would rather be at my house than hers and for some reason, I can't have kids myself. I've just decided its because I have a destiny in helping other people's kids not add to the population with more little angels when there is already so many for me to love.
Some people just never learn to budget their money. I have family members who owe me tons of money, but instead of making payments to me, they spend money on junk because they "deserve" a break and the small luxuries. I wish I could enjoy some luxuries, but I know that they aren't in the budget, so I just do without. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
I completely understand that one! The same people just got their stimulus check and off they ran to the store to spend it!
They went through it as soon as they could! It boggled my mind how fast that money disappeared when they have bills and debts and yet they don't seem to care.
I worked and fought for everything I have! It just burns me when they behave like that but I have no words to say that will make any difference. It's just how thing are for now. We'll see in the future...
Dream + Effort = Reality
Don't give up - determination is just a fancy way to be stubborn!