cutting

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There are so many issues surrounding cutting and so many stereotypes that go along with it also that it isn't hard to see why a lot of people I know in my school think that cutting is just for the "emo" kids. Clearly, most people will know that that is not true. My school is very small and everyone is pretty sheltered. I wouldn't consider myself like they are just because I have not lived in this town for my whole life and I have gone other places and know more about some things then they do.
There are many factors that can possibly lead to cutting: physical or emotional trama, to get attention, self punishment, and there are many more reasons that I'm not even going to try to pretend to know or understand.
In my case I went through physical and emotional trama when I was only 14. It was a really hard time for me and I went into a deep depression and started cutting because it seemed like it was the only thing that I could control at the time. But after a while the turmoil around me started to die down and I still didn't stop. I didn't even understand why I was doing it at the time. But now I realize it was because even though everyone around me was getting over what had happened I still hadn't allowed myself to deal with it.
Over the next year I worked hard at expressing my feelings in ways other then cutting myself and eventually I felt no need to start again.
I never would have been able to do this without the support of other people and today I can look back on it and say "yes, I did do that, but never again."
Looking back on it now I realize that part of the reason I did it was because I felt numb. I had shut everything out for so long that I just didn't feel anything anymore. And that pain I felt from cutting was the only thing that let me know I was still alive.
I know that probably doesn't make sense to many people reading this. But I don't know how to explain it.
I'd be really interested in any other stories or comments on cutting and maybe what can cause people to decide to do it. I only know from my own experiences and what a couple of my friends have told me and I would be really interested to hear other points of view and opinions on the topic.

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Average: 4 (2 votes)
DrifterDani6886's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

I think cutting is stupid but like you I used to do it. many people do this also because they feel as though they need punishment and all the other reasons you stated above. I cut from the age of 15-19. I am 20 now but I have gotten over that and don't do it anymore. I have done it with everything that someone would and wouldn't think about cutting themselves with. I have even used an eraser before. The scars aren't too noticable anymore but I can still be reminded when I look down. My problem was like your's I felt numb but I also felt as though everything was my fault. No one ever found out about it and I didn't want people to know. My friend used to do it for attention and would show me "look what I did" I was like umm ok. This is most common in women but I used to have a guy friend that did it to the extreme level. You may be surprised to find out that alot of people have gone through this before. The cutting is like a metaphor for crying and pain. You feel so much pain inside you want to let it out but you can't seem to express it in other ways. I have had problems with not being able to get angry. I rarely ever get anger or even mad. I don't see a point because it doesn't solve anything. I think it is a very bad thing and I'm glad that you stopped as well.

Something people should know about:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what

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