There is a rift developing in our building between those who purchased condos at market price and those who bought with the help of "city money." My partner and I recently bought a condo in Midtown. The building is part of a major neighborhood rehab project, so there are several affordable housing units and lots of subsidies available, especially for first time home buyers. We own a subsidized unit. A heavily subsidized unit. I'm a student and my partner is just starting out in her field. It was all we could afford.
We may be the only low-SES residents who are aware of the chasm that is opening up between the classes, though, because everyone assumes we have money and bought at market value. Our wealthier neighbors see that we are white, excessively educated women who live in the cutest unit in the building (if I do say so myself) and feel very comfortable telling us, "You know the 'city money' people pay lower association dues than we do? That means WE'RE paying for them to live here." (Actually, there's a grant that makes up the difference). They complain about every little perceived inequity to us, thinking we'll rally with them and protest the presence of poor people in our building.
They don't know that we make no money. All of our very tasteful furniture was purchased very cheaply on craigslist. We have no more money than the single mothers in the building, but being childless affords us the time to search for the perfect pieces at bargain prices. (Our whole house was furnished over the course of two years for under $800)! Our wealthy neighbors don't know that our beautifully painted walls are the result of a Menard's gift card, 24 hours of our own sweat equity, and my unerring eye for color. They think we hired a designer, but really we've done everything ourselves.
We haven't come out as poor when they start throwing our fellow "city money" people under the bus, because we feel we are in a unique position to advocate for harmony. When they begin complaining about our Somali neighbors having too many visitors, we can explain that they have a new baby, and he's really cute! When they gripe about the smell of Ethiopian food in the hallway, we can say, "Have you ever had Abaynesh's cooking? She's amazing! You should get to know her." The complaint we most frequently hear is about kids playing in the hallway, and we can explain that she's a single mom, working, taking English classes, and her oldest child has life-threatening asthma. He can't play in the cold, so isn't she lucky that she got a home with a long indoor space like that? They sheepishly agree.
The "haves" won't talk to the "have-nots" or the immigrants, so we don't want to be classified as a have-not. It's not because we want to be in cahoots with the haves. No one bothers to invite the have nots to association meetings, so they effectively have no say in the running of their home. We've always been the ones to let them know. If the haves stop talking to us, there will be no mediator.
I can't help but feel a little deceitful to both sides, though.
Wow! What an insightful post! I can relate a little - I'm in college, and because of a sticky divorce situation with my parents, have been working to help myself toward financial independence by jobs like dishwashing, filing, and now some secretarial work, all min wage. It's a strange position - squeezed between the "rich kids" working for pocket money and the "real" workers striving to support their families, I'm unsure exactly what my attitude should be sometimes. I feel hypocritical - sure, I'm working, and saving, but my parents are (right now) still paying for my college - am I then still an unfinancially responsible kid? I don't really know, and I feel both industrious and terribly lazy by turns. I work hard for my grades and for my jobs - but there are still students who look down on working in school because it's better to "focus on your education," and those who view people like me as separate because "we're college kids," not working-class people with families to care for like them. It's a strange middle to be in. But I admire you for the way you handle your situation - and it sounds like you're in the perfect position to mediate, and are using it for the good of everyone around you! I try to mediate too, but it's not needed too much in my situation (I guess because we don't live together, just work together). It's really not a problem on the surface and in daily life - but underneath everything, the perceptions and stereotypes about both sides are there. I think more people are in the middle than let on.