Okay. I was talking to a friend last night, she was talking about how here best friend doesn't like her boyfriend. Her bestfriend is a few years older than her, and sometimes can be bitter about life, and she has noboyfriend, never had a boyfriend, so she is lonely. (The bestfriend,She was talking to some guy and the guy was a total jerk to her, an they stopped talking) The bestfriend tells my friend that she should break up with him because they split their money at the movies, because the money that he makes is needed at home, sometimes his family needs him, because he is kind of "the man." And he is trying to save for college. She tells me that she seems bitter like the world owes her an explanation, and that she thinks that she wants her to be unhappy because she really likes this guy and he has never cheated on her or nothing like that. He took care of her when she was sick, and helped her get better. I really don't know what to tell her, she asked me what did I think. Does she sound jealous or is she right. My friend told me that she just comes out and says things about him and she doesn't even talk about him to her. That she doesn't want her to be with him because she doesn't want her to be happy. Is this true? My friend said that this is making her depressed. I don't know what to tell her!!?!!
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um, sounds like a tough situation, i suppose.
the best i can tell you is this: sometimes close friends see what we can't, because we're blinded by love. i was in a situation where my boyfriend at the time wasn't the nicest guy (he never abused me verbally or physically, he was just a jerk in general) but i was devoted to him and even though most of my friends thought i could do better, as long as i was HAPPY they kept their opinions to themselves. how well do you know about your friend's relationship with her boyfriend? could there be something she's not telling you? has she changed since she's been with him (becoming more withdrawn, pulling away from her regular social circle, etc)?
if she seems truly happy and you know that this guy treats her well, my advice would be to tell her to tough it out and that a true friend would place her happiness above any petty jealousy. at the same time, maybe her friend is feeling neglected and she should make sure to spend time with her friend because believe me, boyfriends come and go but a true friend who is there for you when you need them really can be forever.
if, on the other hand, she seems to be defending someone that might not be treating her the way she deserves to be treated all the time and her best friend is just concerned, then it might be time to step in and intervene.
--stacie
Thanks, this is good advice that gave me some clarity. Its better than what I would have told her. The best friend is dwelling on small things. She told me that she had told the "bestfriend" that she wanted to stop talking to the both of them. She said that she hopes that he starts abusing her, and she hopes that he cheats on her. And then she got really personal things that I don't want to say!!! To put her business out there!!He hasn't cheated on her, though. And I have seen them together, and they really have nothing there. I mean they're young and I don't want to jinx it, because I am happy for them, and I hope that I would be able to find love like that when I get older. This "bestfriend" that she has always brings him up out of nowhere, and talks about him like she has this obsession with talking about him. The girl always calls me as if she is upset.And sometimes I don't know what to tell her. She is very happy with him I can tell. Although they argue but i heard that a relationship can never be too bad or too good. If it's too good people try ti think if a way to spice it up. If it's bad then people think of a way to break it up.
Do whatever you feel in your heart is the right thing to do! hahaha... that sounds cliche!!!