Thoughts 3/1/07:
Indiana Cameron and the Lost Tomb of Jesus
By Corey Cook
Humans are flawed concepts in the grand scheme of life, yet we are the so-called pinnacle of evolutionary perfection. I think it is because we have thumbs and can use to the computer to see the Numa Numa kid for twenty fifth time on YouTube. Not everyone is perfect yet we try to impose a superficial design of humanity on each other everyday. In other words, life is like an episode of America's Next Top Model, without the overzealous homosexual stereotypes. Now one of the biggest institutions of imposing a superficial design of humanity [on humans] is under fire: Christianity. No surprises there. What else would it be? Judaism? Islam? MySpace? (Well, at least not this week). This week in everyone favorite blame game Who Hates Jesus Now, news of the supposed "Tomb of Jesus" was found by a team of archeologists and, get this, famed director James Cameron for a documentary on The Discovery Channel. Yes, The Discovery Channel, because nothing says "probing investigation programming" like shows like Dirty Jobs.
The tomb challenges the core Christian believes that Jesus raised from the grave on the sixth day; you know, Easter. But then again, anthropomorphic bunny rabbits giving out eggs that they clearly stole from egg fashion design chickens already ruined Easter. Cameron's crew is getting heavy heat from Christian leaders because they believe that this undermines the beliefs of "good" Christian believers. You know the ones with the broken families, soaring bankruptcy rates, and rising weights? Those ones. People, we have been going at this for years, and it has gotten us nowhere. These guys will not get very far with this, mostly because you have to convince nearly a billion people to change, and that is hard to do. I mean we still have people who think the hottest dance is still the Macarena. Not a lot of scientists believe these guys too, but then again, most scientists think Al Gore winning an Oscar is the definite proof of global warming. Another reason not to worry is that James Cameron is backing this. Not everyone liked Titanic (read: women and feministic males), so that already hurt his credentials. That would be like if Steven Spielberg told us he knew the secret of life. Nice try Steven, no one wants to see A.I.2, even if you found a kid cutier than Halley Jollie Osman.
Unfortunately, Christianity had it coming, especially in America. Christianity in the America is almost always about money and politics. I ought to know; I am a Baptist, not the best Christian, but better than some. At least I am not Pastor Rod Parsley, deciding whether to add a Wal-Mart or Giant Eagle to my mega church, Breakthrough. Maybe this is a sign from the big J man to remember why we are Christian, or for that matter a belief in the supernatural: to find purpose. We not perfect and we need to have some direction. Hey, we should be kind of happy; if they are the remains of Jesus, that means he was just one of us, a flawed human rose to greatness and inspired many others. But then again, we could found much worst things in that tomb. We could found the third season of The Bobbi Brown Show. Ewww. Talk about hell on Earth
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