"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." - Thoreau
Most people are convinced that they are the only ones going through their troubles. I know that I am most of the time. I currently have a friend (actually lots of friends) who is sure that no one else understands what he is going through. When he said this, I immediately thought that someone has to understand and there are people who are at least willing to listen. But then I realized that I think the same thing whenever I go through a tough situation.
I'm so quick to assume that no one understands me. I tell myself, "Sure other people have gone through what I've been through, but they don't understand the emotions I endure along with it." Why am I so quick to believe that no one could possibly understand me. When other people say this, I point out that that's not true. But when I say it, I can't be convinced that someone else gets it.
I'm just a stubborn little girl who thinks too much of herself. It's selfish of me to think that my troubles are the worst. It's retarded of me to not realize that someone (if not everyone) in the world has got it worse than me.
I don't need to live in "quiet desperation." I can talk to someone. I can let it all out. I have people who love me and understand what I've been through. The only thing that scares me is the person who could probably understand me the most. My mother. My life is like a reflection of my mother's. I haven't done some of the things she's done and she didn't do some of the things I've done. But our emotional process through life is the same. It scares me. I'm not turning into my mother; I am my mother. And I'm only 17.
What's next? Will I become my grandma? Okay, that's taking it too far but what is next? I love my mother and I respect her but I really hope that my life doesn't turn out like hers. She's told me that she doesn't want my life to be like hers, so she shouldn't be offended at my saying that. I want more out of my life. There's nothing lacking in my mother's life, but it's not the one for me. I hope that I can make her proud with my life that will hopefully be different than hers.
Oh, and another thing. I started off intending to talk about the need for other people in life but I wound up talking about being like my mother. I am such a girl. I make strange connections...like stars to poop. (Sorry, inside joke)
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Truer words have never been spoken! I know exactly what you mean, and I feel that way a lot.