You know, occasionally the gay thing becomes the main issue in the media. Should gay people marry, etc etc etc. Well I was brought to the point where I stepped back and looked at society and myself. And over the school day (that is, not even 24 hours) I realized just how incredibly cruel and horrible this country is.
Now, I understand that the United States has more freedoms and more rights than a lot of other countries. But that doesn't mean that the problems that currently plague the nation are less severe. Just like black kids being raised to insult Jewish people, despite both being persecuted peoples, we now face a modern day mass indoctrination of homophobia in our country.
An extremely common colloquialism is the use of "gay" in place of "lame", "stupid", etc. I admit that I've said "gay" all the time. And most of the time, I don't think about how derogatory that is. And yet, I think that "nigga" being used as a common slang term is stupid and people are ignorantly insulting themselves and others by using it. I realized I was a hypocrite. I'm working hard to overcome this idiodic piece of vernacular, because I'm ashamed to use it. I know I won't change overnight, but I also know that by applying myself I will change. And I think the people that share my views should work to make sure that they don't say anything offensive, even without meaning anything derogatory. So don't salute your friends with "What's up fag," don't chide them with "don't be such a queer" and also while we're at it, don't call someone a retard either.
Now, it is complete and total crap that same sex couples are denied any of the tax benefits and legal rights of marriage even if they stay a couple for 50 years, while a straight couple may live together for 7 years and automatically recieve some of said benefits.
Now, according to some, homosexuality is not natural. Well guess what, it is. And people are born with it. People have been gay since the Greeks and probably before. And animals are gay and bisexual too. Some of the animals found to exhibit homosexuality: beetles, sheep, fruit bats, dolphins, some birds, penguins, and orangutans. Looks like G-d, should he exist, put homosexuality on earth.
Now finally, I feel great sadness for the people who feel all the pressure from these bigots. I was born of a union of a black man and a white woman, something that was still frowned upon by some people in Las Vegas in the LATE 80's. And now people do the same thing for gay people. Mulatto children were called muts; now children of gay couples are considered to be screwed up by some because the miss the role of mother/father. The same conservatives that didn't want me or people like me to be born are going after homosexuals, and the pathetic thing is that blacks and others are joining in. And people have to keep their lives secret. Everyone else talks about their marriage or partner, but not gay people, because it could put their job in jeopardy, and it could very easily lead to harrassment. When I think of people having to be "in the closet", afraid to go out to certain places in public with their partner, it makes me shudder in horror at how people can be so cruel and ignorant. When the next Day of Silence comes around I encourage everyone to participate.
It's funny how much more important these things seem when you care about someone who's being hurt by it. Sundials - You should tell your friend that there are a whole host of support groups. I can't really get much more specific because I don't know where you live, but if you go here http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&q=gay%20support%20center&btnG=Google+Search&sa=N&tab=wl and add your hometown to the searchbar then you should be able to find several in the area. Good luck to your friend.
I, too, have been trying to work words such as "gay", "queer", "fag", etc. out of my everyday language. I've had gay friends before, but one of my very close friends has just recently told me that he's gay and he's terrified to come out of the closet because of so many people's close-mindedness towards the subject (as seen in the fact that we use these kinds of words in everyday interactions). I still slip every once in awhile and inadvertantly use those words, but I always try to correct myself. It's amazing how intigrated these insults have become in our society.
But, we should also all keep in mind that even the term "lame" is slang (if not derogatory) for handicapped. Or what about the term "gyp" as in "I got gypped"? That is a reference to the once popular notion that Gypsies were cheats and thieves. Now this is getting difficult. It seems to be in the American (or human?) subconscious to verbally denounce the minority groups that they do not belong to, perhaps as a way to declare themselves part of the majority. Deep down, we all just want to fit in.
In response to Bucky: Yes, we should value our nation for our freedoms of speech and maybe usage of the terms addressed are not overtly mean or cruel, however, they do reveal an underlying current of scorn in our society that should be avoided if possible. Is there really any reason (other than pure obstinateness) to continue to use these words knowing that they hurt and that there are viable alternatives that don't? I'd like to suggest that perhaps the unconscious use of fag and queer (which, by the way, colloquially evolved to refer to the LGBT community and is considered in many circles to be a "reclaimed word").
The act of reclaiming words is a recent development in the Queer Community to fight these verbal face-slaps. Changing the conversational meanings of words can help prevent their usage in a derogatory manner by people like Bucky. Unlike Bucky, however, I think that most people are truly unaware of the harm that they may be causing. If the issue is brought to the forefront and addressed directly, however, such careless harm may be eventually eradicated altogether.
Hello Howard (if you dont mind me calling you so) I agree that discrimination is wrong and sexual orientation is a prefrence and I thinks its wrong to be the judge on somones preference. I think that people have maybe sheltered themselves and dislike what the majority dislike only becuase its the "right thing to do" ( so to speak) I think more your points are right well except the "crude" language you refer to. I am guilty of almost every name you listed I use the word gay and or queer often. (i often correct those who use queer to mean gay it means strange or weird not homosexual) crude language is somthing we will just have to move on from. America is not mean or cruel we just are free to say whatever using whatever word we choose to use, dont curse the country remeber it could aways be wrose.. compared to many other countries we are saints.
Bucky Cat
It's not just that the language is crude, it's that it personifies a group of people as being lesser than others; to imply that homosexuality is something to be avoided. It's like, what if slang for stupid or lame was "niggerish" instead of "gay". I appreciate the fact that we are free to say whatever we wish, but I want people to think about the undertones of what they're saying. Why not just say something's lame when it's lame? Why compare gay people to lameness? And America's spirit isn't cruel, but it's done some cruel things, I think we can agree upon that. I love America, and I'm very proud to be an American, and I recognize the strides we have made over other countries; that doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement though.