The other day, while trolling through Wikipedia, I found an entry about babies being born in the caul (amniotic sac) that had really messed up information. While editing the page, I found myself reflecting on what I have already learned at midwifery school, and why I was attending midwifery school. Because midwifery school isn't something you see a whole lot of young women (or men,) getting exited about, with midwifery students you usually have to probe a bit deeper to see why they where inspired to start down the path of midwifery. I have also being helping to do interviews at my school (Birthingway College of Midwifery,) to help select the next incoming class, which has also caused me to probe a little deeper within myself. Here is what I came up with:
1) I believe midwifery will help create a better future for humans overall. Biodynamic birth, which empowers the mother, rather then taking all the power away from the mother and giving to the doctor, who "delivers" her baby, sets the mother up to feel like she can't parent (after all, she obviously can't even take care of a natural process in her own body.) Midwives work to empower women, all throughout their pregnancies and beyond. We work hard to never "talk down" to women; instead we point out all the positive things they are doing for themselves and their babies and then we ask if there is any place in their lives they would like to improve, and then we work with them to help improve that area. For example, I would never tell a woman she isn't eating well and her baby is going to be unhealthy if she eats at McDonald's three times a day. Instead I would say "I see you are getting plenty of protein and salt, which is good, but is there anything about your diet you would like to change." This makes the mother feel powerful, because after all, I am just a woman too, no better or worse then the woman I am working with and supporting.
2) Empowered women leads to empowered families, leads to a better future! If we empower women, they will have increased self-esteem, which will help them see themselves and their families in a different, more positive way, which will help them raise up children who are equipped to take on the task of changing this terribly messed up world we all live in. As a gatekeeper to an important life event (the most important life event to mothers,) my goal is to teach peace, health and wholeness to all the women I work with. I especially want to work with women who need these things.
3) I need to be empowered as well. As I move through midwifery school, I realize more and more how much I ALSO NEED THIS! This shouldn't surprise me, but it does. I thought I was already a powerful person, but as it turns out, I've got a long way to go! I need a boost in self-esteem and empowerment just as much as any other woman on the face of the planet does. Luckily my school is designed for women to work together towards self-empowerment, so my sisters are supporting me through this.
4) During such an important life event, women should always be treated with the up most respect and kindness! Believe me, after attending the births of poor minorities in a large hospital near here, this not only doesn't always happen, IT SELDOM HAPPENS! I was shocked to see how bad illegal immigrant moms especially get treated during their births. Things are done to them that probably don't even get done to birthing animals...they are treated like less then animals! I am so disgusted with the way hospitals treat these women, who are bringing a NEW HUMAN BEING INTO THE WORLD, that I have begun to take Spanish classes and cultural classes with the specific goal of helping such women out...probably for free. I'm still in shock over one situation especially, where a nurse flat-out lied to a mom and treated her like a dumb kid, and I know it was because she was Mexican-American. White women don't get treated especially well in hospitals either, but they would never get the treatment the Mexican-American moms whose births I've attended have gotten...it is appalling! And if racism is that bad here in "liberal" Portland, I really can't imagine what is happening in other parts of the country!
Love to the mommas,
Sycamore Fitch
This was a pretty good blog. I found it to be very eye-opening. It's great to see someone so excited about helping others and herself in a positive way and spreading a message about individual empowerment; which in my experience comes hand in hand with personal and social responsibilities. Together, we can all make the world a better place to live for everyone. : )
There is only one thing you said that really bothered me. You wrote that when a mother is eating unhealthy, you don't tell her so, but instead imply to her a need for change, or gently encourage changes. I understand, empathize, and really support your mission of empowering women. However, not being honest with them about their health and the potential impact of their actions/lack thereof on her baby and herself I think is worse than making her feel unsupported.
You can definitely find a way to tell her, in a stronger and more direct way than you describe, by being honest but not harsh, about why she needs to change and the affects of her actions and thereby convincing a future mother to start with responsible parenting right then and there. I know I would appreciate the honesty. I would also respect and trust my midwife more if I felt she would tell me these things than if she just fed me whatever she thought she wanted me to hear.
Really, that's my only concern. Otherwise, fabulous blog!
And along that same note, what if the person were smoking crack? Would you straight out tell her the harm she is causing or would you just make polite suggestions about what other things she could smoke that are healthier? (My ER nursing comes out and says, you're getting the harsh reality from me)
By they way, midwives are awesome. I've had the opportunity to work with several of them. My wife wants to be a Nurse Midwife.
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Respectfully,
Adam
A-Team Member
You're definitely getting the harsh reality from me. That's probably why I'm not a health care professional... no bedside manner lol.
I'd assume that someone more capable of empathy with a crack addict would be able to tell them more eloquently, but in no uncertain terms, that they were hurting themselves and to stop (not that they don't already know). Especially were that person to be pregnant.... it would be necessary for the health of the innocent baby.
Question... in the case of the pregnant crack addict, would it be legal to detain them and force detox? Just wondering.
No complaints about midwives here... I went to an awesome lecture about the history of said occupation and modern existence. It was very interesting, and I learned a lot. Definitely support it... without the feminism as we know it, but plus the empowerment /confidence/ respect/ dignity/ comfort aspect.
well the first thing we as midwives aim to do with a potental client is build trust and since most people have heard "you shouldn't do this," and "you shouldn't do that," their whole lives, I would definately never detain a woman and I wouldn't come right out with "you are hurting yourself and your baby..."
For one thing, this woman already knows this and feels guilty about it...deep down somewhere inside, her self-esteem is shattering everytime she drags on that crack pipe knowing that she is pregnant. She is already thinking "i'm a bad, terrible mom and my baby is going to be taken away from me..." So what I need to do is help her take small steps toward being positive with herself and teach her the self-empowerment to take care of her baby...
That being said, I'm glad I can chose my clients and I don't think I'm a strong enough person to work with a crack addict. But if she was doing something less harmful, like say eating at McDonalds for every meal, but still harmful, I would take the same approach. Every woman in our society has at least a little idea that they shouldn't be eating McDonald's at every meal, wiether they are pregnant or not. So my saying (essentually,) "you are a bad mom and you are hurting your baby..." will do nothing to build trust between us and build confidence in the mom. What I need to do is say "this is the diet diary you showed me...what would you like to change about it?" She knows already that eating three Big Macs a day isn't good for her...so I'll give her the reins and let her start making the changes. Along the way, I will build up her self-confidence by saying things like "you are getting lots of protein...thats really good!" Or "you are getting a good amount of calories...what else would you like to do?" You see, I am hoping that the confidence I help give moms during pregnancy will carry on into parenthood, so she can stand on her own two feet and say "I can feed my child well..." or whatever the case may be.
We are so used to a negative, patriarchal society that we forget that something else can be done.....
The other thing is, my title means "with women," not "lording over women," or "bossing women around." I know what it is like to be a woman struggling to eat and I understand why maybe a client is ordering off of the Dollar Menu at McDonalds...so instead of shaking my finger, I might offer to help her apply for WIC and food stamps. My job is about the empowerment of women, and I hope to never be patriarchal in any way, if that is possible.
Love,
Sycamore Fitch
How does a woman learn if you do not teach her?
You can do both, but you have to be assertive. If you cater to the feelings of others, you will only hurt them in the end. That's all I have to say.
I really admire you for choosing to do something that will make such a difference in the lives of the women you work with. Learning Spanish in order to assist Hispanic women with their births is a great thing to do, especially because your treatment of them will help to counteract the racism they would normally experience.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
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I agree.
Although illegal aliens are breaking the law, and I do not encourage or support their "undocumented working" in any way, they are still people and deserve to be treated as such. I am also appalled at the assumptions that people would make that just because you speak Spanish/have a Spanish accent you are an illegal, and are stealing health care, and therefore deserve to be degraded. *shakes head*
Although I can understand why doctors and hospitals would be frustrated (more than 80 went bankrupt in California because of illegal immigrants essentially stealing health care), I cannot support or understand people treating others like animals.
engkatiemarie,
This is a beautiful post that has nothing to do with your venom against illegal immigrants. Would you give it a rest, just this time?
It's great that you choose to do this.
While I agree that many women do need to be empowered to start making their own choices and take matters into their own hands and get more self-confident, making it seem like their diet isn't that bad doesn't seem right. There has to be a better way of encouraging diet changes without talking down to them while still being honest.
It's also great that you want to help those who are being mistreated in hospitals. It is appalling to think that this sort of thing can happen to any human.
You point out correctly that current medical procedures are dehumanizing births, and that midwives bring the process back to earth.
Good luck becoming a midwife. You seem that kind of caring, concerned person the profession needs.
Mongo
www.itsnofun.com
I simply stated how I'd seen them treated in hospitals, which in my option, is horrendous! I personally think borders are imaginary lines and therefore I encourage the crossing of them...
You very clearly did NOT say anything against illegal aliens.
Although I do not agree with your interpretation of imaginary lines, as I have a firm concept of our economy and health system and the effect of illegal immigration as well as the stupid idea of free trade upon it.
You haven't said anything against anybody, far from it.
I have been browsing the website out that place in Oregon, http://birthingway.org
how interesting!
How do you find local midwives in your area? (I live in Atlanta, GA).
Mongo
www.itsnofun.com
even attending a midwifery school, besides the midwives who teach at the school, I haven't met a whole lot of midwives, mostly because midwives are a busy group, so they aren't the sort of profession you just "run into" often. You usually have to seek midwives out, so I would recommend going to regional midwifery meetings, if your region has them. Check out MANA for ideas maybe? You could also start going to anything health/midwifery related. I meet midwives at a weekly lecture at a local herb shop, also at Oregon Midwifery Regional meetings, and conferences.
That is where I would start.
Good luck Mongo!
Sycamore Fitch
Like anything else, if you do a search on google, you should be able to turn up some resources, perhaps even a search engine that allows you to put in your state and find a list of local practicing midwives. I have done some research and come up with sites that offer this service in regards to midwifery schools, so you should be able to go to the links for the schools and turn up some help.
Like what you've read? Well, then here's more:
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tricia0711