I was riding my bike home, a backpack and a side bag on my shoulders. It was raining, there was nothing between me and the rain but a too thin, too short yellow disposable rain-coat that made me feel more like I was wearing a cheap trash-bag than protective gear. My long black pants were drenched to the knee, my side bag (full of books) kept slipping off my shoulder, unbalancing me, the light hood kept being blown off my forehead, exposing just washed hair. The rain shooting into my eyes kept me from seeing the road.
Needless to say, I felt like hell.
I ran two red lights, parked haphazardly way over the line white line at three red lights, and zipped pass a car that was going to enter the lane.
Am I always this reckless and unlawful? No. I’ve always made an effort to obey the traffic rules, here in southern Taiwan when it’s unfashionable to do so. I’ve always played it safe; let the big cars go first. I’ve always acted as though I valued my limbs.
But today I felt like hell, today I couldn’t see a thing, today I went a little crazy.
Most of us have had moments of discomfort that shows in our performance. We got a fever just before that big test, was thrown food at by our babysitting subject that made us decide to skip the bedtime story, had cramps during a date that failed miserably.
This reminds me of a question I’ve been asking myself on and off for two years.
There’s always been cases of old people who’ve let themselves go, who’re hostile
to their neighbors, who’ve made their houses a pigsty, who seem to act rude when they should know better. No, I’m not talking about Alzheimer’s, I’m talking about purposeful rudeness and neglect.
I’ve wondered – what gives them the right to think they can behave this way, to throw away all conventions? One idea I had was that they thought themselves old enough to finally do what they wanted without major consequences. That they knew better now so they didn’t have to listen to anyone.
Perhaps that would be one reason, but I think I’m a bit off. There would be other reasons, and I have an idea it might be due to discomfort. Eyesight going bad, hearing muffed up, stiff limbs, slow actions, tiredness, sore bones… the signs of aging that plague old people to grumpiness.
This would apply to patients in a hospital also. That’s why we hear stories about how sweet certain children were when they were hospitalized – because most of them aren’t.
Physical discomfort effects performance significantly. If you have dyslexia it’ll be difficult for you to get good grades, you might even give up. If you lose your glasses for more than a week you’ll probably start living slightly more chaotic state than you did before. If you have AIDS you might think you’re going to die anyway so why not enjoy life to its hilt, why keep working hard? The handicapped who succeed are great because not only is it difficult for them to perform as well as others, it’s also harder for them emotionally to want to.
Physical discomfort changes things. When we’re facing a whiny, aggressive person, it might be wise to stop and think if they’re in discomfort before slashing out with that brilliant comeback.
What I would be interested in knowing is, if in a survival competition, how the side that fell into the mud bank would perform statistically compared to the one that didn’t.
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