A few months ago I found a friend on myspace that I have not talked to in almost three years. I sent him a message but never heard back, effectively telling me where I stand. When I first found him, it took me almost a week before I could summon the guts to contact him. Let me give you some back ground on the situation. In August of 2004 my husband and I were in a really tight spot and had to move. We chose to leave California for Idaho and had to sell our truck to do so. Our friend Nate bought the truck and it wound up being at the cost of our friendship. He gave us part of the money within a few days. Being the person in our house that handles all the "business" things I had to be the one to call him to find out when he was going to have more money. This became painful for me and I would have to stare at the phone for 10 minutes before I could dial his number. I would not have called him so much if we did not really need the money. After a few months, he just turned the truck over to my dad and told him that he was going to look at it as a repo. I cannot fault Nate for non payment, his paychecks were rubber.After he gave the truck to my dad I made several attempts to call him and let him know that we were not mad at him. He avoided us at all costs. I am sure that at some point my husband called him before he (Nate) turned the truck over and said something stupid that he did not really mean. I would do anything to fix this relationship. I have never felt so much sadness or such a sense of loss over a friendship before, nor have I mourned it this long. I have thought about Nate many times over the last three years and it has always been with sadness and regret. Normally I do not regret things, I learn from them and move on but I just cannot seem to let this go.I just want to talk to him. I am at a loss for words when it comes to explaining exactly how I feel. I cannot contact him again either because when I contacted him, I told him that if I did not hear back I would know where I stand and respect that. You know what the hardest part is? He's in Boise, two hours away. I want to find him, make him listen and not let go until we have some resolution. I have apologized for the way things turned out over and over again to no avail. If I could afford to pay him back the money I would. I told him if he did not want to talk to me I would understand, but I don't, not even a little bit.GRRRRRR!!!!!!! I HATE THIS WHOLE SITUATION AND HAVE FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO FIX IT???????? HOW CAN I MAKE THINGS RIGHT AGAIN????????? I THOUGHT FRIENDS WERE SUPPOSED TO FORGIVE EACHOTHER!!!!!!!I have many acquaintances but not many friends and I have even fewer FRIENDS. There is a big difference between a friend and a FRIEND. Nate may not be my friend but I will always be his FRIEND and if he ever needs me I will be here for him. I hate having this unresolved situation and it is only made worse by the fact that he is so close, yet so far away. I just want him back in my life again, I really miss him.
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If he means this much to you, I think you should send him another message and say exactly what you said here. Tell him how much you miss him and that you deeply regret losing your friendship. Explain everything you are feeling, don't hold anything back, and you can mention that you knew you said you wouldn't message him again, but you felt that you had to just be competely open and honest and needed him to hear what you have to say. I don't know why he is ignoring you, it seems like you are trying to hard, and he isn't budging. Maybe you could also talk to your husband and see what exactly was said between the two of them so you might have a better insight as to where your friend is coming from.
When I first contacted him, I said everything I could. I can only assume that he is still hurt and or ashamed of the whole situation. I have confronted my husband on a couple of different occasions and he insists that he never said anything to make Nate think that he was pissed at him. I know my husband to well though and Im sure he said something even if it was indirect. We do have a few mutual friends and so now I hope that a situation requiring confrontation presents its self. Other than his myspace and the common friends I have no way to get a hold of him. I do not even know if he read my entire message or just deleted it. I have only contacted him once since November 2004, so I cannot say that I have been trying very hard. I have thought of sending him another message but I would be breaking my promise not to contact him. Perhaps I should fight harder but I don't want to risk pushing him further away. I guess I am counting on him comming around sooner or later.