i am a romanian living in america (for now). i am a musician. i am a third-year student at ucla studying ethnomusicology (the study of music as an aspect of culture). i travel (i have yet to see the whole world).
apathy is worldwide. pain is worldwide. confusion is worldwide. entropy is worldwide.
why are we so quick to judge when we ourselves don't understand?
sometimes when i look out the window of the airplane that i am sitting in, and of course i don't understand how it flies, i wonder if i will ever see for myself that the world is round. i doesn't look round. it doesn't feel round. and the only time i feel it spinning is when i spin myself around and around and around...
i wonder how many people in this world take the time to step outside of their comfort zone and try to prove a claim they make.
sometimes when i am in between two worlds, floating over the earth, i feel alone. i wonder how so many people can exist all on one planet yet each so very seperate. my physical body seems so strange and very disconnected from everything inside of my head and my heart, my spirit. in those moments i realize we are all foolish, we are all blind, and we all understand so very little.
take me to that place
where music has a face
to look upon.
to lay beside.
were i to put a word to this feeling
it would blind you upon reading it.
it would deafen you upon hearing it.
it would numb you upon speaking it.
so i listen to this song
let everything inside of me
connect to that wall
that divides tangibility from....
that which i cannot describe.
i'd let myself pass through it
and look back upon what is left.
the shell.
the skin that holds everything together.
that keeps it all from splitting apart
into embers of fire.
shooting stars that erode the surface of the sky.
i am asleep at light
watching myself dream
things i wish i didn't know.
i am trying to uncover
the mystery
of freedom and its whims.
i am trying to discover
if the wind is really moving us
or if the wind is standing still
and we are the ones that are moving.
when will my worlds collide.
when will this illusion mix
what i can touch
with what i feel.
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