RIP Joey

This is a letter I wrote to the mother of one of my best friends that died....

hello dee, this is anna from roselle. i asked for your email because i think ill be able to write what i feel better than i could ever tell you. i kno your heart is broken, but i just wanted to share with you how i feel. maybe it will bring us both a little peace. im just having a hard time suming it up. but im going to try my best....
since this has happened, ive thought about joey every single day. i carry him with me everywhere i go and everything reminds me of him. i went in my back yard the other day to where all these trees are at where we used to hang out when joey and whoever else from marengo came to visit me, and i was thinking about him, and then i said 'joey i need you' and this big gust of wind made the trees branches shake all around me and it just made me cry because i knew it was him. and again just yesterday i was thinking about him and all of a sudden this reflection of a rainbow appeared on my kitchen floor, like almost outta nowhere because the trees were blocking the sunlight coming through the window. When Joey was here, I never got a chance to tell him how i felt about him; that he always made me smile, that I loved his twinkling eyes, that I felt like I had someone who would come to my rescue whenever I needed him, that I appreciated his friendship so much, that homecoming was one of the best nights of my life, that he meant the world to me and that he touched my heart and noone will ever take his place. I cared about him alot, but since I live so far away, it was hard for me to show it. And I regret more than anything that I didnt take more time out to come see him and get one of his bear hugs and see his bright smile. In the short time that I knew him, he had an incredible impact on my life and I loved him very much, and I call to him every night, hoping against all hope that he might appear to me. Noone will ever compare to him, and I want to thank you so much for bringing that amazing person into this world and into my life. I never got to tell him that, but I wanted to make sure that you knew. I have still not run out of tears to cry for Joey, for the loss of the most caring human being to have called me his Russian Princess. One regret I have in my life is not having enough time with him. There's not much I wouldnt do to have just one day back with him, and to bring your baby back to you. I can never even imagine how you must feel, but I hope that you know that though he is gone in the physical sense, his spirit remains within all of us who knew and loved him. I catch myself saying things that he used to say, and it makes me both smile and cry. He did so much for me, and I have to return the favor, by holding on to him for the rest of my life, and by being there for you and your family whenever I can possibly help you. Joey made me feel safe and good about myself, and he told me all the time how much he loved and respected his mom. I just wanted to tell you all of this because I feel it everyday, and it helps me to get it off my chest, and because I wanted you to know how much your baby Joey meant to me.