PEAR is a grassroots group of adoptive and prospective adoptive parents who have come together to discuss the lack of a unified, respected voice for adoptive families.
Our membership has grown via word of mouth to include adoptees, adoption professionals, and other persons interested in meaningful ethical adoption reform from the adoptive parent point of view.
We believe that the existing system needs strong reforms because it does not represent the best interest of the people most impacted by the system: the children and their families.
We are tired of being ignored.
We are through with being laughed at.
We are ready to fight.
It is the mission of PEAR to provide a voice for prospective and adoptive parents. Our goal is to ensure that all families are provided
the opportunity to make a wholly informed and educated decision to adopt;
a system that is transparent, ethical, economical, and respects the rights of families of origin, the laws of governments involved, the adoptive and prospective adoptive parents, and most importantly the children;
a choice of agencies that operate legally, ethically, responsibly and in the interest of the adults and children they serve;
access to support services and resources post adoption;
official representation before the bodies that govern and oversee adoption providers
iF YOU CARE...BECOME PART OF PEAR!
WE NEED YOUR VOICES!
http://www.pear-now.org/
I have heard that the adoption process is brutal, especially if you aren't made of money. How are you affiliated with this organization? What do you think about their goal. It's nice that you're trying to spread their message, but how do they affect you?
Read my blog!
I basically jumped for joy when I saw they had gotten a name and organized! They are brand new still, but I hope to see them grow and become a force to be recond with..as they are so needed.
And as for affecting me..besides being part of, and that they give me great hope...this is exactly the kind of group that needs to have a voice and call for national adoption reform!
When the NIARA comes before congress, they need to be there!
FauxClaud
aka Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy
OriginsUSA...Musings of the Lame..FixAdoption
---By the way, I'm not trying to be mean, I'd just like to read about your opinion, not just random facts. .
Read my blog!
Did you accidentally leave out parents who gave up their children for adoption, or do they not want to be involved in this organization for a reason?
And, yes, this is a pointed question.
Well, considering that *I* am a parent who surrender my child to adoption, I don't really feel left out by thier wording. I can be "other persons interested" just fine..and I am. I joined PEAR and there was no qualifing denominator to my approval. So I don't think at all that they are leaving surrendering parents out, but rather are attempting to get membership as an adoptive parents group..which is great!
Plus, many adoptive parents shy away from groups where too much of the concerns are on natural parents or adoptees..they want something for their needs and concerns. They feel they cannot be part of something that is concidered too "anti" adoption..since they have adopted.
Of course, I also know many of them personally and have been pushing the adoptive parents with ethical concerns for years to get motivated and organized as they have the power to make changes. So yeah, I am into seeing them grow. And this Momma wants to be imnvolved. To me, these are the people that the agencies and politicans listen too..they are the consumers and clients with the money and power.
FauxClaud
aka Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy
OriginsUSA...Musings of the Lame..FixAdoption
So the truth comes out.
You feel guilty for giving your child up for adoption. So now you feel that your story, situation, whatever, represents the majority of those. Maybe you are now a responsible adult. Maybe you got it together. Not everyone does.
I still feel that although a change in the laws may be appropriate (and I agree with you that in many cases it probably is), what you are advocating in a completely open birth records situation is damaging and downright dangerous to families and children. There is a clear compromise that can be made here.
engkatiemarie,
What exactly is your connection to adoption? I am sincerely asking.
Claud has spent many years researching infant adoption. Have you read any of her blog before it moved here to ProgressiveU?
Have you read any other natural mom blogs? There are many of us around the blogosphere, and what's interesting is that our stories--the stories of competent women who could have parented but were pressured not to/fell for propaganda/were literally forced to relinqush--those stories ARE the norm.
The average mother who relinquishes a newborn for adoption is now in her twenties; in college or on her way to college, with advanced educational and career goals; and comes from a middle class family.
That's the common demographic.
Claud (and I) are not the minority, we ARE the majority.
I am really asking you, please do your research. You don't have to take Claud's word for this stuff, you can do the research on your own.
This is a good place to start, if you don't know how to begin. Evan B. Donaldson Institute is an independent research, education, and advocacy organization, headed by an adoptive father, Adam Pertman. This is a link to their study from last year on birth parents :
http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/research/2006_11_birthparent_wellbeing....
My personal life is really none of your business, and I choose not to share it with you at this time.
I will tell you that I have done this research, and I choose a compromise between open adoption records and closed adoption records. As I have written in response to many comments here.
I am really asking you, consider what you are saying, and the people that completely open adoption records can harm. I also ask you to consider what you are arguing about natural mothers.
Natural mothers who gave up their children did so for a reason. Defending your decision, and portraying natural moms are some kind of martyrs is completely offensive to me, as I find them socially irresponsible and disrespectful of their children, families, and society. Life isn't fair. Get over it. End of story.
It's not that I don't have compassion for people. It's that I don't have compassion for people who pretend that life is a piece of cake, it's ok to mess it up, and then to expect others to support them. They encourage others to become dependent on society, and it's this big cycle where people lose their dignity, their children, their jobs, and their lives because others tell them "it's ok" and hand them life on a silver platter. If you cared, you'd give others respect, and a hand up, NOT a hand out. There's a huge difference.
Families of origin/first families were left out only because we didn't have any in our ranks. Now we do, and so our statement changes. Thank you Claud for the vote of confidence.
Although PEAR takes on challenges with the aparent point of view, we welcome the input and opinions of all members of the triad and hope to do our best to honor all members of the triad in the actions we take. The adoption industry needs to pay attention to all of us, not just the PAPs with money to feed the machine.
Gina Pollock
Interim President
PEAR
www.pear-now.org
reform@pear-now.org
Thanks Claud for the plug for PEAR.
David K
www.adoptionagencychecklist.com
My guess is you are an adoptee who is still in the fog and angry at your mom.
If so, you might try looking around the blogosphere. There is support out there.
If not, then take a look in the mirror before you get all high and might about your moral superiority, because your lack of compassion is frighteningly far from morality.
This is the last time I'm responding to you, engkat. Because frankly I don't want to help you with your scholarship, so I'm simply just not going to give you anything else to respond to.
But if you do have a personal connection to adoption, please know that there are support groups around that can help you work through wherever all your anger is stemming from.
See you.
Why I Passionately Support Early Adoption and Child Welfare Reform
http://www.progressiveu.org/134337-why-i-passionately-support-early-adop...