It's two a.m. and I'm watching the smoke from my cigarette, curl in infinite grey eddies through the air in front of me. A visual representation of the conversation I'm having with my three friends, all at cardinal points. We're having a war conference, of sorts. The discarded "Baconator" wrappers, and empty fry boxes, scattered about the kitchen table serve as a map. The enemy that we're all trying to understand is women.
"So I just keep dating psychos" Says South, "I don't know why, they're all I seem to meet."
A round of snickers from West and East.
"I think it's because I have trust issues, like, I dunno. I just want to meet someone I can trust, and then I'll be happy." South clarifies.
"Well, maybe you need to learn HOW to trust... you can't just start a relationship with someone, and make then earn your trust; it doesn't work that way.", replies East.
Theres a burp followed by the obligatory round of laughter. Further confirmation that chivalry died from some gastronomic anamoly. I take a sip from my over-syrupy Sprite, and gather my thoughts.
"I think your problem is... that you need to stop dating Art majors" Of course, this is me spewing total bullshit. Amongst your friends it's OK to use generalities in an all-knowing manner. I feel satisfied that I've given a totally confusing non-answer, and think that maybe I should go into politics, as East and West nod thier heads in confirmation of my wisdom.
"I don't date Art majors"
"Well, then maybe you should.", is the best I can come up with.
South then asks me, "So, how come is it then women can fall in love at first sight, and we can't?"
"That's not true", interrupts East.
"He's right, he's one of those overly romantic guy's that can fall in love instantly" I say. I think it's because East is a photographer, and therefore an artist. I was once the same way. If she had a mysterious mind, and a gorgeous ass, I would have sold her my soul. Im not that way anymore, I've grown patient with my emotions.
Well, thats just fuckin' stupid...", is South's reply.
East just laughs self effacingly and says "I know".
The conversation just continues on like this, and as we all continue asking each other questions, but not giving each other any real answers, I realize something. None of us have a fucking clue when it comes to the opposite sex. Not a single clue. As guys we only tend to lump women into two categories. Sane and not sane. Oh sure, theres also sorts of ways we break down everything else, from the physical to the emotional. In the end, however, those are the two catgories that count. I think about this and realize how we are all mentally children. Maybe our capacity for emotional growth is relative to how much pubic hair we have? Like our emotional growth becomes stunted at adolescence.
I only wish Sun Tzu had written "The Art of Women", so I'd have something to go on...
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I don't know if it makes you feel any better, but women are not any easier to understand if you ARE a woman either. Can I join your summit? I'll be Northeast. Or magnetic North.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Ediblewoman is right. Not even women understand women. In the end, all it comes down to communication. You have to ignore generalizations and stereotypes and the like, because they'll get you nowhere.
And just a clue...there are no same women out there. We're all absolutely nuts, in our own ways. Heck, I'm fairly certain that there are no sane PEOPLE in the world, just those who are better at hiding their insanity from everyone else.
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
I'm pretty sure the misunderstanding is both ways. And I'm pretty sure a lot of it stems from cultural and societal expectations. Women who are dubbed "insane" may actually be struggling to be what society tells them to be while simultaneously trying to be who they really are, all the while not realizing that this internal struggle is actually happening. Have you watched any movies lately? Or read any books? Women are supposed to be angels, or they're demons. And if they aren't angels, they're not human. When do we get to be just HUMAN?? When do we all get to stop playing this ridiculous game and actually start TALKING to each other??
I just watched this movie, "Knocked Up." It was pretty funny, and truthfully, I would watch it again for the humor factor. But frankly, there was no character development. None. And the sister, she drove me crazy, because there was never ever any actual communication between her and her husband, and she wanted to control him, and he drove me crazy because he just gave up on the whole thing, and she - ugh - it was just one big mess of non-communication. And in the end?? They're all happy. Why? Who the hell knows. They just are. Anyway, my point is, men and women are equally screwed up.
I find I struggle similarly with men; I never get real ones. I get the odd balls - the sexual offender, the high school drug dealer, the one potential wife beater, the alcoholic (who can no longer digest solid foods... how he is still alive, I have no idea...), and then there's the one that could have worked that lives 3,000 miles or more away (but he only expressed attraction for me while still dating this other girl, but was avoiding breaking up with her because he "didn't want to hurt her"), the one that never said a word, the ones that only see me for my cup size, and the one who actually gets physically violent when he drinks (which is frequently).
So at the moment I'm seeing the men to women relationship as retards to psychos (using your word), respectively.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/kariskoett
"All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else."
-Buddha
I agree with araa. Im still in high school, and boys are still... difficult. They older I get the more I believe that whole saying, 'women are from venus and men from mars.' Men and women are just on totaly different waze lenths.
I once had a guy friend ask me why girls were so difficult and complicated. The only responce I could come us with was that it how we deal with guys strange and foreign ways.
As a woman, I can agree with ediblewoman when she says it's not easy to understand women even if you are one. I get myself into huge messes sometimes, and it could have been so easily avoided with I had just thought it through, but no, I just went and did the first thing that popped in my head, and I have no idea why. That's just the wonder and confusion of a woman. ^_^
"Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment." - C.S. Lewis
Or of a person...
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/kariskoett
"All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else."
-Buddha
I have nothing more constructive to say than 'beautiful post'.
Well, I'll try to fit a little more in: I wonder what that extra X chromosome gives them that our Y doesn't... or vice versa.
I agree with the idea that humanity has no clue about the opposite sex; but I think we know nothing about anyone. We're just feeling our way through life, hoping the decisions we make are correct. How do we get it right? How do I meet Mr.Right? No one knows; and I think it's better that way because if we had all the answers life would not be worth living and learning from.
Oh I can certainly agree with desiring some amount of mystery. This blog was neither complaint nor praise, just observations based on a conversation myself and friends were having. As you can see we're all morons.
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"One of the things that draws writers to writing, is that they can get things right that they got wrong in real life, by writing about them"
~ Tobias Wolffe