10. You might live in middle America, but in the 2000 election, you got to feel like you were the center of an Oreo -watching both "outside parts" get dunked!
9. When politicians are battling it out to see who will be top dog, you can laugh about it watching David Letterman, and if you're David Letterman and the one you made fun of wins, you get to keep your job, your house, and your freedom.
8. You can like baseball, hotdogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet. Or football, hamburgers, ice cream, and Ford. And if you do all that eating and riding, you can either join Weight Watchers or sue McDonald's.
7. You can apply for government aid to go to college. They'll offer you grants you don't have to pay back, and a lot more in loans which you do...no matter what. If you're a disabled daughter of a retired military worker and have a sponsor in the DAR who was a descendant of one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, you can get scholarships. Then you can get a good job, make a lot of money, pay 1/3 of it in taxes, 1/3 of it in loan payments, and never qualify for any assistance during hardships because your gross income was too high for the 60 days prior to the hardship. Hmmm. Maybe this is in the wrong list.
6. You are allowed to have as many children as you want. You just have to steer clear of anyone who might call you a rabbit or think your children are going to cut down their trees to make disposable diapers and toilet paper.
5. With the equivalent of an 8th grade education, you can still get published in the New York Times op-ed department. Or work full-time on their editorial staff.
4. You can be any religion you want... as long as it is politically correct and doesn't offend anyone. Or no religion at all, in which case everyone who plans to vote for Hillary Clinton will love you.
3. You can be as smart as Bill Gates, as dumb as Michael Moore, as rich as Ross Perot, as poor as a nun, as Republican as Ronald Reagan, or as Democrat as Ted Kennedy; and U.S. Soldiers will still fight to protect your freedom.
2. You can start school in kindergarten and feasibly continue all the way through doctoral studies without ever having set foot inside a classroom. And will probably be better because of it.
And the number one thing that makes it great to live in America is...
For all of its faults, this is still the greatest nation on the face of the earth. Enjoy it while you can. "The price of liberty is eternal vigilance."
Kim Tracey
