Ok just a random thought i would talk about is realtionships and sex . . . . Ok this mainly got brought up because the person i am with didnt want to have sex unless we were dating and even if we were still didnt want to have sex which i completley understood . . . Then they asked me if i could date someone and not have sex with them. . . . . well . . . it may be wrong but i said i could for a while. . . . I think you have to have a sexual attraction to someone and have a good sex life for a relationship to work. . . . i can see not have a active sex life if both of the people werent into sex, but i dont think i could date someone and not have sex with them at some point. . . . Im not saying put out the first date or even in the first month. To me i think i could go a couple months without getting a little frustrated .. . . maybe its just me and its wrong but that is just the way i am. But i love the person i am with and we did have sex on the first date but still we are engaged now so just goes to show you that its not always wrong to have sex right off the bat LOL . . .The main reason they didnt want to have sex is because they didnt want to base the relationship off sex which i really respect and get it its makes perfect since. No the religon side . . . I planned on saving myself until marriage . . i am catholic. . . but it just didnt happen that way i found someone that i loved and trusted with everything, not with them anymore but i still trust this person today and she is my best friend. Well i kinda just wont some feedback to see other peoples opinions on this. Could you have a relationship with someone and not have a sex life with them? . . . . Would you get frustrated? . . . . . Do you believe you can have a relationship with someone and not be sexually attracted to them?
Thanks :) have a great day peace
I think that you shouldn't base your decision on dating someone because they won't have sex. It's rather shallow to say that if you don't have sex, you can't have a relationship -- and I think if you really have feelings for someone, sex won't matter. It's not a big deal.
Off topic, the lack of capitalization and other various grammar things hurt my eyes. :[
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"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/k-mal
Thanks for the comment . . . I never based dating them off the fact that they didnt want to have sex it just threw me off . . I could date someone and not have sex with them for a while. . . . then it would start to get frustrating.
Oh sorry about the grammer and stuff im a english major so i dont do it all the time i just dont go back and review and read what i have typed its usually very late when i write these things . . . . ill try to go back and review before i post thanks
But see, this is the part that bothers me:
If you TRULY like/love someone, sex SHOULDN'T matter. That's what I was trying to get at. A relationship shouldn't have to be based on sex. Sure, it's nice, but it's not necessary for a meaningful relationship...
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/k-mal
Yes it shouldnt be and I never said i wouldnt date them or would stop loving them or anything . . . it would just be difficult for me and i would get a little frustrated with it.
But from my standpoint, I can't help but note that it sounds like one of the most important aspects of the relationship when, instead, a relationship should be built on an emotional connection. Am I wrong?
And certainly, if a guy told me, "I love you, but I'm sexually frustrated because you won't sleep with me," I would probably rethink the relationship and decide to end it...
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/k-mal
Yes it caused a problem between us . . .I see that it is wrong but i cant really help the fact that its the way iI feel, but I we have a very strong emotional connection we are very close. We love each emmencely and want to spend the rest of our lives together, so I guess im lucky it worked out the way it did, because I can see how in a normal relationship or any other that would break the relationship . . . . . ..
Hm. I don't know. I just don't see how I could break up with someone because they didn't want to have sex with me. To each their own, though...
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/k-mal
Oh no . . . i didnt mean that i would break up with them i would never ever do that! EVER! i mean im shallow but not that shallow i just would get frustrated i wouldnt get mad at them or break up with them
-Sean Ryan Donnelly-
Have a great day :)
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/seandonnelly
Okay, that makes a little more sense to me, then. Haha.
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/k-mal
I am an English major too! Funny though... I use proper grammar. Sorry but that really does not make sense if you are an English major. If you love English so much you should respect the language and use grammar correctly.
Après la pluie le beau temps. ♥
Yea i have respect for english and grammer, and i correct people all the time but im not going to spend a bunch of time correcting and grading myself on something that is my opinion and doesnt really matter to anyone else. . . . . . Not everyone is going to have perfect grammer and write perfect all the time even the greatest philosophers and literature writers make grammer mistakes I see them all the time but i dont critize and judge peoples work because of the grammer or the way its written its their opinion and as long as the messages get threw i relaly dont care . . . . Dont take this as being rude im not trying to be but it seems that you are being rude for no reason please correct me if im wrong . . .
-Sean Ryan Donnelly-
Have a great day :)
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/seandonnelly
Not to be rude myself (and I'm not, just nitpicky about grammar and such), but if you have respect for the English language and are going into being an English major, it just makes sense that you would normally just write without having to go back and correct. Just my opinion, I guess...
I'm not being rude -- just making an observation. :]
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/k-mal
lol k . . . It just came off that way and yes i should go back and correct myself that is why I dont go back and read what i write because I will freak out and delete it or something lol im very very picky . . .
-Sean Ryan Donnelly-
Have a great day :)
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/seandonnelly
Well, if you just write it correctly the first time you wouldn't have to go back and take time correcting it. It is grammar, not grammer by the way. Also, people on this website DO care. Please, just make somewhat of an effort so I have more of a motivation to thouroughly read your blogs.
Après la pluie le beau temps. ♥
haha thats funny i was using grammer instead of grammar anyway I wrote this blog about my personal feelings and felt no reason at all to be correct. I just wrote what i was feeling at the moment and didnt feel like paying attention to much detail. I use correct grammar when i write about things that really matter to the general public so to speak. . . . .
-Sean Ryan Donnelly-
Have a great day :)
Comments and ratings are always appriciated :) thank you
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/seandonnelly
"Could you have a relationship with someone and not have a sex life with them?" Yes I could. And I have. It just depends on the relationship and how long the relationship lasts.
"Would you get frustrated? " Depends on the other person and how long we were together.
"Do you believe you can have a relationship with someone and not be sexually attracted to them?" No, I don't think that I could or have had a relationship where I wasn't sexually attracted to my boyfriend. I think that being sexually attracted to the other person is part of the relationship.
I'm not trying to make it look like I base relationships off of sex because I don't. I just believe that in every relationship, at some point in time, you should be sexually attracted to your partner. I also believe that having sex is a decision to be made between the two people when they are ready.
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Sometimes changing isn't a bad thing.
Hey i see eye to eye with your answers i dont want it to seem like i base a relationship on sex i personally just think sex is a part of a relationship just like love and caring for one another . . .
"Then they asked me if i could date someone and not have sex with them. . . . . well . . . it may be wrong but i said i could for a while. . ." .
"but i dont think i could date someone and not have sex with them at some point."
"To me i think i could go a couple months without getting a little frustrated .. . . maybe its just me and its wrong but that is just the way i am."
"No the religon side . . . I planned on saving myself until marriage . . i am catholic. . . but it just didnt happen that way i found someone that i loved and trusted with everything, not with them anymore but i still trust this person today and she is my best friend"
*People are entitled to change their minds about when and where and how to have sex. It just seemed like a little bit of a contradiction though between the first three statements and the last one (that I quoted for you). It isn't about the religion part that I find contradictory (although it is), It just seems that you were going to wait, and then you found someone special, and that all of a sudden changed to being able to wait to have sex but only for a little while..Perhaps I'm not making myself too clear. What I mean tot say is that you jumped from one extreme to the other. From waiting to have sex to not thinking that you would be able to wait more than a few months.'
One can be in a relationship without sex, BUT I do think that you have to be sexually attracted to them, otherwise it would be something that psychologists call either companionate love (which is intimacy+commitment without passion) or empty love (just commitment to the person). So you could be in a relationship without being sexually attracted, but it would just not include all three aspects of love (intimacy, passion, commitment). :)
Well my whole life contradicting lol. . . . I went back and forth between be ok with it and then not being ok with it. . . . i love them so much and i didnt want to bring the sexual frustration part up because i didnt want it to seem like all i wanted was sex . . . . i really did see why they would think they were going to be a one night stand i have known this person since i was 5 years old . . . well i wasnt nice to them i was the bully in school HAHA! sorry everyone.. . thanks for the comment peace
Even though it did work out between the two of you deosn't mean that it may have. The sex could have ruined the relationship.
True it could have . .
I actually agree with your Sean. Relationships work when the two people have a deep connection. But having a physical attraction to someone is important too. It should not be the basis of the relationships, but it should be there. Relationships are about working things out between two people. If one wants sex, but the other is absolutly against it, there are few options. They can either accept it, or move on.
Anyways I like your absolute honesty.
I tend to be more out spoken but seeing as how their are a lot of out spoken people on this website ill tone it down just a little LOL thanks for you comment :)
-Sean Ryan Donnelly-
Have a great day :)
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/seandonnelly
I think people need to be more outspoken. Our society is based off of lies. What we say and what we actually feel are usually two seperate things.