this is my short reflection to the first part of a chapter in the Tao Te Ching:
every ending requires some middle area that leads up to the ending. There is no such thing as a story with only a beginning and an ending, no good ones at least. In that spirit it requires a very subtle, but simple, perception of the way things are.
If there is something you wish to finish or get rid of, it's necessary to understand that to go away there must be some period of leaving or transition. This is like a developing plot line. If you want a person to learn something and understand, it is necessary to recognize the beginning, or ignorance. Then to allow for a natural self-discovery and understanding of the information, this period is a necessary ignorance to achieve the true understanding you wish for them to have. To force someone to understand by stuffing them full of your own knowledge from your own experience doesn't allow them to fully grasp and appreciate the new knowledge we wish for them to gain.
If you want someone to forget something or heal, then you must let them first recall or be in pain. That period of pain is a necessary step towards true self-realization and progression. Of course, how does one apply this idea to their own situations, obviously you can't do nothing... maybe you can. if we think of 'doing' as a conscious action made to invoke some sort of result. 'Doing' implies that we went out of the way we were already moving and trying to use our best judgment to change the situation to benefit ourselves or each other in the future.
Yet if we use the subtle perception of the way things are, recognizing the natural growth and patterns of the world, we can resolve to simply guiding or facilitating a process when the occasion arises, and still allow the space for true, personal growth. It is not to just watch someone suffer or struggle, but to add only direction to their path and let them discover their own destination. This, to me, is the true sense of teaching. The ultimate learning creates understanding.
life is good.
(apologies for "choppiness")
