Every branch in me that beareth not fruit [GOD] taketh away; and everybranch that beareth fruit [GOD] purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
JOHN 15:2, KJV
This is note is about my "purging". I never was faced with {REAL} reality until I came to college. I never got to go to parties, go hang with friends, or anything. Everything here is new to me and people have often told me you develop into the person you're gonna be for the rest of your life in college. College determines your attitudes, outlook, and perception on everything... I totally agree with this theory.
I get what my daddy was trying to do as far as keeping me from doing wrong and the temptation to do wrong. I do understand that, but what he failed to realize was that I needed to make mistakes to know how to function on my own. Experience is the best teacher. My thoughts in my head when I got to college was to get an education and graduate. During the metriculating process, I wasn't gonna be a statistic as far as being young, a black female. And in my mind I thought I had that part down. I never got in trouble at school and hardly got in trouble at home. So I thought that part was the easiest to handle. I never knew what I was gonna be up against... Since I been at college, so far I haven't fallen down too hard, but I do have plenty of bumps and bruises. Falling into peer pressure WAS so easy for me to get those injuries. I hate being by myself... period, point blank. Everything I did back home, my family was right there by my side. I'm not independent by any means. But I am self sufficient, so my first priority when I got here was to find people LIKE me or maybe it was, find people who would like me??? I don't know, I found people and as the school year progressed I obtained plenty of acquaintances and lost some. I'm a sincere person. Everytime I am taken advantage of hurts. So I took it upon myself to rekindle an old friendship. I never get made fun of, judged unfairly, or taken advantage of. I wanna make the friendship stronger than it had ever been. When I got here I was so wrapped up in making myself happy that I forgot about HIM. At home, our relationship was so close it wasn't a doubt in anyone's mind that I was a christian. It was more than just a name, it was a responsibility, a lifestyle, and an attitude. I know there's a such thing as forgiveness {repenting}, but God doesn't forgive if you don't have the intetnions on changing anything. Right now I'm in the process of taking the challenge and just doing me the way I want instead of what the world demands me to be. I want to surround myself with positive influences and keep my faults to minimum. Don't give in to peer pressures and finally let go of all the stuff that seems good to me (but not to GOD) and make the RIGHT decision instead of what decision that "SEEMS" right. I think I'm starting to see that in the end everything that goes on in my life happens because of me. There are somethings in your life you can't control, but most of the time when you think you don't have control...>>>YOU DO!!!!!<<<
At this very moment, I'm proud of my progress. Yeah I've still did some stuff that is wrong, but the numbers aren't as big anymore. I've gotten rid of some the stuff that I knew could bring me down and drag me away from my goal and have started to engage in activities that help me develop more positively. And I've made my surroundings better as well. I wrote this note to help encourage someone and to show people, ME. I like my Friend and HE has given me friends and family away from home and I'm very appreciative of that. God puts people and obstacles in your life for a reason. Whether those people or environments are lifetime or seasonal, I thank HIM for them anyway. I see what I need to purge, keep, and what I need to let God handle.
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