Sexual Deceptions
Though some members from each gender will deny it, Men and women lie to each other all the time. Men put up an image of success while women put up one of the attractive youth. The question is, why? In actuality, there is an evolutionary reason to explain these prominent lies that men and women tell each other. The need for reproductive success, or fitness, causes men and women to use verbal and non-verbal markers to emulate a facade of reproductive success and fidelity, youth and attractiveness, and financial security and success in order to attract members of the sex which they want to attract.
According to the course handbook, women generally prefer a man who is financially stable (Bus 1999). This way, there is a more likely chance the male can help provide for the offspring and their mother. If a male is financially stable, that means he is successful and has resources such as shelter, property, and transportation – all of which help support his children and family. This is also why women tend to find older men attractive, as the course handbook also states. Because of this, men find the need to lie to women about the amount of money they make or their status in their careers, which is a verbal lie.
Their lies are not only verbal, but non-verbal as well. Money and status are two things which women look for because they are markers that the male will stick around to help raise a baby, which in essence is a marker for fidelity. So when a man drives a sleek sports car, he is proclaiming to the world that he has money and status. However, he is hedging the truth when the car he has is not actually his, but a leased car. In primate society, chimpanzees also use this kind of deception. A young male chimpanzee will grab branches and make a ruckus to seem bigger and stronger than he actually is. If the chimpanzee succeeds in his ploy to deceive, he gains a higher status quo. The man’s sleek sports car and the chimpanzee’s ploy of branches are both markers for a strong and successful mate (Bus 1999).
While women prefer older, more successful males, males prefer younger females and valued physical attractiveness more (Bus 1999). Women lie about their age because they know that a man is looking for a younger woman who could bear the most children. The younger the woman is, the more years she has left on her biological clock. Youth, in essence, is a marker for reproductive success. In my life, I have observed that many women, once past the age of 27, will not tell people how old she is, a verbal lie. If she does, it is because she actually looks a lot younger than she actually is.Women use non-verbal lies all the time. Women lie about their age and appearance through makeup and age-defying face products that claim to reduce wrinkles. Some women use plastic surgery to reclaim some of their youth. Women get their lips plumped to resemble the lips they had when collagen was plentiful. Breast are lifted and filled to look like the perky breasts of their youth. Wrinkles are smoothed away. The possibilities are endless. These traits, perky breasts, full lips, smooth skin, are markers for good health which men subconsciously look for.Men lie to attract a large quantity of lovers while women lie to try to obtain the highest quality lover/mate.
Men, and women, contain the selfish gene. According to our class lectures, the selfish gene causes men and women to want their own genes to be passed on and continue in the next generation. That is why men can afford to lie to women to try to impregnate a great number of women. Their parental investment is relatively low, especially during the Environment of Evolution Adoption (EEA).
For women, however, they couldn’t afford to do that especially during the EEA where there were more dangers and predators that could potentially kill and even eat their child. A woman’s parental investment is very high. In one day, a man could potentially impregnate ten women while a woman could have sex with ten males, only one of them can impregnate her. That is why women would have to find a mate who would stick around long enough for the child to live past the first four years when the child is most vulnerable.In conclusion, the question as to why men and women lie to each other can be answered by the reason that both sexes want reproductive success. Both use markers to emulate a facade of reproductive success and fidelity, youth and attractiveness, and financial security and success.
References
Evans, Dylan, and Oscar Zarate 1999 Introducing Evolutionary Psychology. Cambridge: Icon Books Ltd.
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I've heard about studies like this before, this doesn't seem like new info to me. And while it does make an interesting claim, so many of those circumstances do not hold true today, especially in developed countries. Human psychology is such a tough field because of the amount of diversity in psychology. There are many men that don't lie about status, and many women that don't lie about age; there's simply an attitude of "take me for who I am."
I understand the concept of the selfish gene, but today almost all men do not want a lot of pregnant women on running around. Human psychology in many areas has developed at the same pace as we have, adapting itself to the continuous constructs of human society. Why would we retain so much of an archaic way of thought? It would make sense for instincts like sex drive to remain, but why wouldn't our psychology change to fit society? Now, there are men attracted to older women, women attracted to younger or more unstable men. While I think the theory sheds some light, I think it is by no means a comprehensive explanation of deception in relationships.
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Actually, if you look at studies done cross culturally, you'll see that this still applies. Biologically, we have not caught up to our cultural mentality. But thank you for your comments.
Any chance of getting health insurance or being able to save for retirement can be boiled down in two words: Rich Husband.
i agree with what you posted. i also recognize that you put that it was part of a class and not necessarily your own opinion. Funny, what you wrote makes me feel like an inadequate female because I honestly do not look for money or status. ha if you could see the guys i date... i do agree that they all lie to get what they want though (males and females).
Although I do get what you're trying to say, it seems to me you're thinking that everyone lies. In reality, I don't think it's that simple. It's more of a charade that society puts up. Women these days are trying to achieve their own financial stability instead of relying on the men. More men start to care about their looks too. The whole gender episode is being challenged by people from today's generation. The data you presented can be reliable to a certain extend. However, it can also be considered as outdated. You are speaking from a heterosexual perspective for the most part. What about homosexuals? Do they too "lie" to each other for a success in reproduction?
To me, the whole part about being attractive and successful tie more with our ego. It's something that makes us become satisfy about ourselves. Plus, men and women want basically the same thing from each other. The only difference is the order of importance of these things we want from each other. While women want to be with successful men, I'm sure that some men also want "successful" women. While men want attractiveness in women, women too want men with good looks. Right? You know, not everyone lies to get laid with someone we like. lol
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