July 3 1996, 11: 22 pm
Today I had to do something that was very painful, but also very helpful. I sent the women that I love back home while I am in California. It was the last option that I could think of. She has no other place to go. One thing I can count on is if a friend of mine Shane gets his trailer we are invited to move in with him but I don't want that to be my permanent residence. It will allow Valarie to come back down. So we can be together. This past month has been very stressful. Valarie has lately gotten the feeling that she is unwanted by everyone. That stresses her out, I try to comfort her, it does not work so I get stressed. I'm to the point were I don't need anyone else expect her, and she's not here. It seems to me that with all the shit that has happened I am ready to give up Alton for good and move to St. Louis. Now I just have to wait a month to see how things are going to turn out. What I need to do next is to organize my room so I know how much I owe and to whom. All I know is it will be a tough battle.
Until Next
T
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Now you have read the fist entry, you can start to understand what I was going through. The funny thing about this whole thing is this. I was going to California for my brothers wedding. We both found love, but he was starting his new life, I was putting mine one hold. My love life at least. The rest of my life was moving way beyond my control. So I formally dedicate this little experiment in long lost memories to V.
