I went to school today and was completely surprised that one of my fellow students had died over the weekend after he was involved in a dirtbiking accident. I was even further surprised to find that I knew this kid moderately well. I was not particularly saddened, maybe I am morally bad, but it got me thinking about the ephemeral quality of life. Life truly is short, my first sixteen years have already passed and I do not even know what has happened. Death is always just around the corner; I could get involved in a car accident tomorrow and die. So that’s maybe why there is the quote Carpe Diem, Seize the Day, but how do I balance my family, social, etc. responsibilities with living each day as if it was my last.
This also got me thinking about how sad I should be about death. I haven’t had any real experience with close family death, perhaps my hood fortune, so I haven’t had a real opportunity to express sadness. I don’t even know how I should respond, but look at my history, I don’t even think I would cry, just take it in stride. Does that somehow make me less human?
The thing is, though, is how I should embrace death. With open arms, or running away all the time. What do you guys/girls think?
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It's not that you should or shouldn't run away from death, because it will always be there and is going to happen to everyone. You do not have to look at that statement in a morbid way, just understand that one day you will have to deal with death. That is all you have to do, just deal with it: meaning just live your life how you planned on! Never have any regrets, because they are pointless and do not matter!
Good luck with everything and sorry about your friend!
I think that at your age its very difficult to face death at all. I think the vast majority of 16-year-olds (myself included) never really think about death as it pertains to them and instead live life the way they would if they were immortal. Unless a teenager is forced to think of their own death (as would be the case if he or she were diagnosed with a serious illness), I think they tend to ignore death largely. Mourn those who pass and hope it never happens to you, I guess. Sorry about your friend.
I was 18 when my first classmate died. It was a car accident. I didn't cry either, though I knew her. We weren't close, so I didn't feel I any real sense of loss. What I felt was similar to what you describe. I was in utter shock that any one of us could die at any moment in any number of ways. I opted not to think about death, running away all the time.
Then my little brother was killed at 17. I was 23. That one was a bit more difficult. I won't go into details, but since then, I've embraced the idea of my own mortality. When it's arm's length away from you, it is possible to stay detached. When death touches your own family, you have to wrestle it to the ground, shake hands, and say, "See you later." Because death visits more often than any of us likes. It's just a fact of life.
And your questioning is right where you should be developmentally at 16.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman