I am home now, for the summer. I moved out of my apartment a little over a week ago. I was thinking about how moving out cleansed my mind. I donated my ex-boyfriend's clothes to the carpet cleaners son, I convinced the Salvation Army to open up the full truck for my bag of unwanted items, and I gave my extra food to some homeless people. I felt free. Then it came time for the box. The box full of two and a half years worth of memories with the person I never thought would leave me.
The box had been collecting dust since the 17th of February. I saw it everyday, but didn't think much about it. I held the box up to my mom and gave her a puzzled look. She told me that I would want it sometime in my life. Will I? I can't say I will ever really want the box, or any of the "I love yous" in it, or the dried corsage, or even all the necklaces. I know I don't want him, so what about this box?
I felt like I had been holding onto him by holding onto the box, but is that the reality? Or what movies and society tell us? Can we not keep memories of things that ended, even if we didn't want them to? I keep the box here now, it will most likely go in my parents attic, and won't see a ray of sun for many years to come.
I am okay with it though. I am not holding on to him per se, but the memories that made me overwhelmingly happy for two and a half years. Though I didn't want it to end, I don't want him back and I know that. I miss him, the idea of him, and all those little things, but I don't want to end up missing the memories. So, the box stays.
Memories are yours even if they end. I agree on keeping the box. I still have letters from some of my ex's in an envolope. I am glad I am not with them, but the memory is still there. Memories can bring back the good things that we once felt. I would keep it honestly. That is one thing someone can't take away from you is your memories.
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
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I agree whole-heartedly. I have been debating whether or not I want to paint my walls. My ex drew this beauitful piece that simply say's "Someone Loves You." No childish me+ him with a big heart around it, just those words with an intricate design backing. I looked at it for a long time with the paintbrush in hand and I finally let it go. There is no reason anymore to be sad about what could be and life is far too fleeting to waste time. So I keep it and instead of a Scarlet letter on my wall I look to it to remind myself that it is true. It may not be the person I thought but someone loves me, I'm glad you kept the box!
You'll probably want to look at all that stuff again someday. But years from now, there may be a time, after you've moved the box five times, when you say, "I can get rid of this." The question then will be why you held on to it for so many years. That's when you can be sure you won't regret getting rid of it. If you aren't sure, don't get rid of it.
You just never know what might happen. You might need to look over those things to learn something from your experience with the ex, or you might need a reminder that you've gotten yourself into another relationship with the same flaws and problems, or he might die unexpectedly. Then you'll want to have those reminders, in any of those cases.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
True, I thought that to myself as well. If I wasn't sure, I should just keep it. Plus, we ended on good terms and everthing, and are still great friends. I guess sometimes people fall out of love, but hell I turned 19 today, I have a lot of time on my hands to find "Mr. Right" (if he even exists...).
Après la pluie le beau temps. ♥
Drugs!
Oh, man! You have a lot of looking-back-on-old-times time ahead of you! You better hang on to at least SOME of the contents of that box.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I am sad to inform you though, just a few days later he flew into some sort of jealous rage and showed me a side of him I have never seen in all this time of knowing him, and he said and called me things I would prefer not to reveal, but I can say we are no longer connected in any way. I still think about keeping the box somewhere in my parents attic though.. and I also thought of setting it on fire and throwing it on his balcony... but I won't do that. Just a thought. ;]
Après la pluie le beau temps. ♥
The Box
With 6 billion people in the world and about 3 billion of them being men, I'm sure Mr. Right is out there somewhere. The hard part is just sorting through all the Mr. Wrongs in the world to find him.
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I agree with ediblewoman. You'll know when the time is right. I also don't see anything wrong with keeping it, since it reminds you of good times. If the dude was a jerk the whole time, abusive, or cheated, I would say move on. it seems like you have moved on, and just enjoyed the fun times without being obsessive. Nothing unhealthy about that in my opinion.
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http://progressiveu.org/000701-everything-you-need-know-about-poop