I from a decent sized town in the south. I'm half black and asian, and I love it. I always thought I had somewhat of an exotic look and embraced both my cultures. Still I am seen as a light skinned black girl with "good" hair and face almost as much racism as other blacks in my school. It wasn't like an everyday occurence, but I would say atleast 3 times a month something would happen. There was interracial dating, but mostly black guys and white girls, or white guys, and asian girls.
And on April 16th of 2006 I made the biggest mistake of my life, I feel the blonde hair, blue eyed, captin of the basketball team. We had this steamy thing sneaking around hiding it from everyone. I felt like Romeo and Juliet, and knew that other's would never "understand our love", but eventually it got old. My heart wouldn't let me be happy with getting felt up in the janitor's closet, or meeting him at the lake behind my house. He told me to wait just a little bit longer and it would be worth it. So I did.
Then a few months before our senior prom we we're making out in his living room when his parents walked in. Most parents would freak out a little, but have enough decency to wait until the child that wasn't theirs left, but his dad totally flipped out. He grabbed his son by his ear and dragged him by the ear down the hall. His mother just stood there and smiled nervously. As I gathered, my things to leave I could here the deacon's whole rant.
The man who I had looked up to all these years as a great leader of the church, the guy who would make some great bbq for the county fair, the guy who coached my third grade basketball team, who I considered a real good friend, was on the verge of killing his son for making out with me. "Do you know what they'll call you?" he yelled. He told his son he rather him be gay than date a black girl. He also said it was okay to be friends and nothing more. I walked out the house and down the steps hoping that my "Romeo" would grab me from behind and tell me he loved me, all of me, my black side, my asian side, my girly side, happy side , my mean side. But he didn't . He didn't even talk to me the next day or the week after.
Oddly enough we spoke at our weekly meeting of Fellowship of Christian Athletes meeting, He apologized for his father and then retracted his invitation to the senior prom in fear of upsetting his father. The same man wrote me college recommendation letters.
So I gave him the finger and left at that.
So it's 2 years later and my little sister is considering dating a white guy and I don't know what to tell her. Part of me says follow your heart, and part of me says protect it. Racism still exist. Maybe I need an outsiders perspective.
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Girl it is a fact of life that there are always going to be prejudiced people. No matter what you do you can not change their opinions about you. To them it is as ingrained as you ethnicity is to you. My opinion to you is to let you little sister make her own choices because whether you realize this or not she is eventually going to come up against racism. It is inevitable and who is to even say that this guy' s parents that she likes are in fact racist.
I'm so so sorry. The church has been blinded by how they think things should look and be, and in the process, thousands of people have been hurt. As a Christian myself, it is so heartbreaking to see that we, the people who vow to have the love of God in our hearts, cannot see past the color of one's skin. I'm praying for you and your sister. Peace and blessings,
-Liz
Go with the first thing you said "follow your heart". Too often we base our opinions on whats happened to us, and don't give other people an oppurtunity to go out and discover life for themselves. Theres nothing wrong with your sister dating a white guy, but if she's going to date him, she shouldn't be keeping it a secret. She doesn't need to hide her life. There will always be racial people, I say the heck with them, you can't make the world perfect, but you can get along with those who try. In other words, theres alot of non-raisist people too. I'm a nineteen year-old white girl, and I've had many mixed-culture friends, and relationships. I dated a dark skinned mexican man, whose parents were all for dateing a white girl. They didn't want him to grow up being racial, like some. I'm also dating a Native indian/Italian man now, who comes from a japanese family. His mother also approved of him dating a white girl. That made me happy ofcourse. Ofcourse, I myself have heard some racial comments in my day, but not many, because of my wide diversity of friends told them to get lost,lol. So sometimes you have bad experiences, and you have to forget about them and move on, you can't base that everyone else is going to be like that, just because that one person was. And sometimes you have awesome experiences, and those are the ones you keep, and cherish forever. But don't let one memory ruin it for all the other good memories that may come. Some day maybe you'll find another handsome blonde hair, blue eye guy who is absolutely head-over-heels for you, and when he's an adult, his parents can't tell him who he can, and can't date, and they shouldn't anyway. The only thing I agree with parents, is saying WHEN you can date, and make sure you date someone who's got some tact. ~Don't worry girl, theres is some good in the world ; ) ~
You would think the world would accept all people of color but they don't. The thing I hate the most is when people put on a equal rights, we can all get along face. But when they are at the comfort of their own homes or if they feel they are in a safe environment , racisim is running in their blood and begging to be pumped out.Now I know his father probably will not go up there and say I hate blacks and etc. It is bad for business .He has to play the I so-called love black people role in front of everyone.Sorry that happened to you. As far as your sister tell her that there is nothing wrong with have a white, hispanic, asian, or any other type of boyfriend. She should not love him for his skin color but love him from the heart. People will always have their opinion but screw them.
you being a christian have to do with you're prejudice views? When I saw this title, my immediate thoughts were, "Okay, so you're a prejudice christian, but a "good christian""(whatever that means.)
You are suppose to love people and not judge.