Love really seems like a beautiful thing. Yet, when one of those persons believes it to be a two year long monogamous relationship, only to find out that it has not been even close to monogamy, it turns into an ugly ordeal. I say this from personal experience.
Morals seem to be breaking from their bondage. In a survey I conducted consisting of 50 high school students, i found jaw dropping results. For every five students, one of them has cheated on their significant other more than once. Three of those five have cheated on their other only once.
A staggering 86% of those surveyed have engaged in sexual intercourse. (Keep in mind, these kids range from 13 to 17 years of age)
I am having trouble understanding the mentality of those who are able to commit infidelities repeatedly without once thinking of how this might affect the person that considers them their own. I believe the bottom line in this is a person's selfish desires and loose morals.
I am not saying that sex when you are young is necessarily a bad thing. But the deceit behind cheating on someone is a bad thing. The really sad thing is, a lot of the people I know who are continuous cheaters aways tell people to be true to themselves and others. What about them. Their are not true to others and some of them aren't even true to themselves.
I say if you are in a monogamous relationship, you act like you are.
Sexual promiscuity is becoming far too common in this society and it is being seen as acceptable.
Sex, Infidelity, and Loose Morals
By katiecrescent - Posted on February 14th, 2008
I don't think a lot of people believe in monogomy anymore. I say this because I've tried to be monogamous, even after having my emotions messed around with. That's like you being in love with a person that says they love you but they're not "in love with you." What the hell does that mean anyway. If you love someone, and you know how that person feels about you, why would you go about messing around on this person you say you love AND care about?
I believe in monogamy, but, I do know people who say they love someone and show it constantly yet they sleep with other people because they view it as "just sex." Either that or they claim it is an innate instict that should be fulfilled.
Personally I think sex is a very personal thing that is full of emotion and a great bonding experience. I would never be able to refer to it as "just sex."
But hey, to each his own. If not being monogamous works with your beliefs then more power to you, as long as the other person understands they they are in an open relationship. Morals are completely shredded when they lead their significant other to believe that it is a monogamous relationship when it is really having monogamy coming from one side.
I personally believe in monogomy. If you truly love someone, then you're not even going to be chasing after another. I think a lot of it has to do with parens, and especially the MEDIA! you see sex everywhere, which then makes you more curious about it than you were before. Here's where the problem starts. Morals aren't taught, and if they are, then they're not being inforced-a lot of parents don't discipline they're kids now a days. it's getting sooo bad!!!! I'm in love and I know the man that I'm with is in love with me. We have known each other since childhood, and so therefore I know what kind of person he is. I can say that we are happily engaged. I just wish more people could change, and have good morals as far as sex goes, and "coveting thy 'neighbor'." I can't trust hardly anyone in my life, including some of my family members. What is this world coming to?
In the survey, what was considered "sexual intercourse"? I ask because this can be a bone of contention at times, as some consider oral/anal sex to be intercourse, whereas others claim only vaginal "counts".
In my opinion, it's entirely possible for people to be monogamous. I have many friends and relatives who have been in long term, stable, monogamous, healthy relationships, and this has made them very happy.
Part of the problem may be that divorce has become so acceptable that few bother to try and work through their problems, preferring to take the easy way out. On the other hand, you cannot expect people to stay miserable in a loveless or violent relationship in these enlightened times.
I think the real solution here is to make sure that before one jumps into a more permanent relationship, they spend time to ensure it's the right thing to do. The "take, take" impulsive culture should be quashed in this arena, and give way to a more rational and healthy approach to marriage and/or permanent partner-type relationships.
sexual intercourse was considered vaginal or anal. And I also took into account their sexual preference. There were some girls that had commented that as a lesbian, their "sexual intercourse" was oral sex where as I had some guys comment that since they were homosexual, they considered it to be anal sex.
I think the point she was getting at was... is sexual intercourse considered penetration, or could it be oral for heterosexuals as well? How about mutual masturbation? People define it differently, and thus some consider themselves a virgin when others would not.
~C
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I did not set an exact. it was more along the lines of what they considered it to be. There was a space for them to clarify what they thought sexual intercourse was.
A sample size of 50 high school students isn't a great representation of the population, especially if they were taken from only 2 classes (which usually means they're in the same age range).
That being said, monogamy is possible... it just takes a little effort. Sometimes there's a lack of communication and one partner thinks they have an open relationship, and the other thinks it's a closed relationship.
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
these were all from the same highschool but was done during their lunch hours. I made sure to get answers from all of the before mentioned ages (ranging from 13 to 17).
As far as my mishap with my guy went, there was no lack of communication. He just decided that what I did not know would not hurt me.
But, I do believe monogamy is entirely possible. For one, I have never in my life so much as even held another person's hand while dating someone else. I think it just has a lot to do with the way people are raised and the people they let influence them.
I didn't mean to imply that that was your situation. There are many cases where one person in the couple will just go out and cheat without care. I was just saying that in some cases, the lack of monogamy might just be miscommunication, and not knowingly cheating.
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
please tell me it wasn't munford that you surveyed. and did something new happen i should know about?
MommaTrish - mom of 2 boys and a bump