Do Our Parents Cause the Cycle of Hate to Continue?!?!?
I was born:
A white male in an upper-middle class family
I was brainwashed to believe (by my parents, relatives, my surrounding community, and through private schooling):
That I should play it safe and not talk to African-Americans as most are dangerous.
That interracial marriage was wrong.
That homosexuality is a horrible sin that results in eternal damnation
That poor people are lazy and do not deserve government "handouts."
That Christianity is the only true religion and the only way to heaven.
I am now:
A 22 year old male in college.
Not willing to judge anyone until I have actually met them, regardless of race, sex, age, national origin, creed...etcetera
Agnostic/borderline atheist, but respectful of those with faith when their words/laws/actions do not harm me.
Accepting of interracial marriage.
Openly homosexual
Hoping for same-sex marriage to become a reality in my lifetime
Understanding of the fact that being poor does not automatically mean that you are lazy.
(my dad is currently out of a job, my mom has been unable to work since September due to a spinal surgery and several other complications).
If the me of today met the me of 3 years ago, we would not recognize one another.
I have managed to break out of the cycle of hate and illogical intolerance that had been ingrained into my brain since I was young. I have done this by questioning everything that I was taught by those who I thought I could trust. My questioning started when I could no longer lie to myself about my sexuality.
When you realize that you cannot pray away or ignore such feelings, and when they collide with your religious upbringing and everything your parents and society have told you, you can either go on suffering and lying to yourself, or you can start asking questions.
I think that the world would be a much better place if we all questioned our beliefs from time to time.
Do you have logical explanations for how you think, act, behave, and worship?
If you do not, then are you truly living life as you would like?
this is really true...I think we are raised to hate...our parents prejudices are ingrained in us and we often don't even realize it...that's the unfortunate part...it's really good that you did see it and that you changed your life around...I can't really say that I was raised with any serious prejudices other than religion is right...but like you I've changed my faith...very recently in fact...right now I'm trying to find where I fit in ...but I have an atheist best friend that's always told me I'm agnostic and just don't realize it...I hope that gay marriage can become a reality for you too...that's probably one of the biggest things I stand up for...and one of the things people are most often taught to hate...I don't really understand why though...but great blog and good job on seeing things differently...hopefully one day many more will too
Thank you,
If you are still searching for religious answers, I'd recommend reading some books from both sides...
I recently read 2 books by Lee Strobel: The Case for Faith and The Case for Christ. I have also just finished: God Is Not Great and the Year of Living Biblically.
I am now Working on: The God Delusion
The religious arguments never stick for me anymore. Even when I give them a fair chance. Ever since I had a Logic course in Philosophy If find that religion, along with many t.v. commercials and phrases from radio/news media figures, have made less and less sense.
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -F.N.
I apologize if I assumed that you are/were Christian.
-Dave
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -F.N.
no it's okay...I was...
and yeah I've gotten a lot of recommendations about books and I've been reading a lot of them lately...and after being so close to atheists as well as people from other religions things just don't add up for me anymore...but I'm sure it'll all work out in the end
I think it's hard to break prejudice if you've never experienced what it's like to be the thing you are judging. For you, you broke a lot of your misconceptions because they happened to you. If you are not able to put yourself in someone else's shoes, then yes, the prejudice that you are taught will most likely stick with you. Of course, there are many cases of people who do not follow what their parents have taught them, but most often people go along with what their family says because they have one of the biggest influences on you.
___________________________________________________________________
"Most intellects do not believe in God, but they fear us just the same." - Erykah Badu
What role do you think coming out played in your ability to see another's perspective? I found that once I was out and a part of a group that suffers active and sometimes violent discrimination and bigotry, I had much more empathy for others, of all races, creeds, socioeconomic status, etc. I think that is the root of most discrimination...the majority simply cannot fathom what it is like for the minority.
What do you think?
Also, a blogging tip...when you are replying to someone's comment, be sure to click the 'reply' link at the bottom of their comment box. It maintains the flow of the conversation. I've had some difficulty following the comment threads on your blogs, as I'm never quite sure to whom you are responding. Thanks!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I think you are right.
Being a minority and having experienced discrimination, threats, and unfairness because of immutable characteristics I am definitely more capable of relating to others.
Maybe over the next 20 years as white males start to lose power and are no longer the majority force... society will start to open up and change.
(not to say that straight white males are the problem... but being white and straight is considered "normal" to most Caucasians and everyone else is seen as an outsider or different from what I have heard and seen)
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -F.N.
There is a musical, it was just revived on Broadway, called South Pacific. Even though it was written in the 40s, it addresses Racism in a very real way. There is a song near the end called "You have to be carefully taught." I don't remember the lyrics, but the gist of it is, "Hate isn't natural. We are taught our prejudices, but if it doesn't happen when we are young enough, we will never accept it." It's true. We often learn to hate from our parents. While we can get away from them, it is a habit and very difficult.
I was raised that way, too. It took me a while to realize that nothing I was being taught made sense. Looking back, I now see that most of the false logic used to back up my parents' ideas could have easily been turned on them if I would have had enough sense to see it.
I love abortion. Read more here:
http://progressiveu.org/044921-i-love-abortion-even-if-it-murder
I am currently respectfully talking to my parents about this. I am showing them (more than telling them) how racism, homophobia, religious convictions, and the like are essentially baseless and horribly wrong.
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -F.N.
That's great! It's quite admirable that you have the strength and courage to talk to your parents about things like that. I wish I could have, but my parents probably would have came down pretty hard on me.
Click here to read about new ways to save money and the environment that you have never heard!
I really like this blog for a couple reasons: First off, you were able to break away from a chain of hate that is ridiculous in a day and age when the leading democratic candidate is in fact, African American, and also because I believe that people should form their own opinions. For instance, I am in no way racist (though most of my family is slightly), I believe same-sex marriages should absolutely be possible, and because when I have children, I plan on raising them to have open, unbiased minds. By changing one person at a time, one generation at a time, eventually equality in these aspects will come. I'm sure of it.
I agree. It's not something that we can do overnight. If this were the case, racism would be gone by now. Instead, we have to take it one step at a time. We've made progress from the sixties, and maybe sometime in the future we can make running progress instead of taking baby steps.
Click here to read about new ways to save money and the environment that you have never heard!
being taught hate. Many of my cousins are mix raced. I have openly gay relatives. My neighborhood includes a preacher, a Muslim family, and a Jewish woman. I guess my world view is just shaped differently than alot of Americans. I never witnessed intolerance untill I entered public schools.
"when you hold a pen, you are at war" Attributed to Voltaire