I swim sometimes to drown out the noise. I heard reference to the amazing qualities of swimming in the movie Meet Bill. I recommend it if you haven't seen it. It's a lot like American Beauty, another one of my favorites. Swimming though, is powerful. Much like anything else you can find do give your mind peace and get away from it all, it calms one's soul.
I live with a two year old now. As you may imagine, my life has become noisy lately. It's not just my foster daughter though. She, I can handle, because she's two and still learning. It's the stress from others that I let burden me. Sometimes, I get in a mood where I try to take the weight of the world on my shoulders. There are the questions like, "Why can't people be more polite?" Also, "Why do people use other people for their own personal gain?" and "Why do we do that which we know we shouldn't?" I'm weighed down and burnt out by them. I guess you can just call it a bad day, but I want to honor it for what it is. It's the nastiness in the world and I'm just not willing to get dirty. I want people to shape up and be better. When I say people, I mean all people. I don't think it's that hard to do the right thing on a day to day basis. I really don't. Where did all the moral compasses go?
So, when I get to this point and I realize that all these questions take me to a dark, ranting, whining place, I answer them for myself. People should be better, but not everyone is going to be. I must have compassion for those who aren't up to speed and meet them on their level. It's not my job to police the world. It's not even my job to make sure the people around me fly straight. It's me. I'll be all the things I want to be and not worry so much about others. I have to be humble too when people are catching me up to speed. Otherwise, the noise and stress overcome me and then I'm of no use to anyone.
I must swim. I must come to this place where I can't hear anything else, but the calmness within me to get up every morning and tackle one thing at a time. I mentally tilt my head back in the water and listen to my heart beat. All the other noises are then unintelligible. What matters is me, my breath and my soul.
I jsut started working at a pool part time. I love it. I don't like to swim (ridiculous water fears), but luckily for me it's a 4 foot pool at a primarily retirement community. It's so relaxing. I love walking/floating around and keeping the pool clean. There's something peaceful about the water.
F*** Religion. Read more here:
http://www.progressiveu.org/020528-f-religion
You should hear the lyrics to my favourite song, Wasteland by Ten Years. I think you would find it appropriate for this topic.
We can't be the saviours of the world. It is too big, and there are too many. We can however leave our marks on those lives which we touch. Be judgmental and let them know you are disappointed when you come across it. If they respect you, they will at least make a small change for a small time. You never know if they will change permanently without you.
The sanity within is overwhelming.
People are just going to be people polite or rude. I actually know someone who is trying to use my mom for personal gain. She really think my mom is stupid or something. The funny thing is she is a friend of mine. She was my travel ball coach. She became very close with me. I think swimming is great but I would love to fly away.