Before I begin, may this be a warning to all: When I tell it like it is, I do just that. No fluff or fuss or sugar coating. This, in turn, may cause many people to be offended. Well, I guess I'm just going to have to find some way to live with that. So a bunch of people on a website are possibly going to be mad at me. Okay. That's just grand. The thing is, when I have something on my mind that I feel needs to be heard, I will say it, regardless of the consequences. After all, what good is the right to freedom of speech if we do not utilize it to our best abilities? That is all I am doing right now. Go ahead and bash my blogs if it makes you feel better. I do not care in the least, as long as my piece has been spoken. This is going to be a very controversial blog, so get out your anger management self-help tapes and hold on to your pants, because here I go.
Some recent events on this website have made me come to the decision to write this blog. A fellow ProgressiveU member, Kiota, has passed away. When I heard this news, I wasn't stunned or distraught or sad in the least. To put it bluntly, I had no feelings whatsoever.
I mean, why should I be sorry for her? I didn't know her! And the only thing I do know of her is that she was not so nice (to put it nicely) to me in some of her comments to a couple blogs of mine. That caused me to not want to read any of her blogs.
Now everyone's treating her like a martyr or some kind of saint. What's with that? Someone even suggested that they make a holiday on here for her.... Um, no. If they make a holiday on here, I'm not celebrating it. Not because I didn't like her, but because I don't believe she was that great of a person to be martyred and made into a saint. She wasn't God! She wasn't Ghandi, or Mother Theresa, or Louis Pasteur! She didn't affect people WORLDWIDE and change their lives. And even if she WERE like the aforementioned people, she STILL shouldn't have a holiday because those people didn't get holidays either! Why should she? Holidays are made in honor of saints and God and/or The Gods (when Paganism was popular). I think if they made a holiday for her on this website, it would be like making the tradition of a holiday in general seem less grand. If any old bloke can go around and do something to impress a lot of people and get a holiday made in honor of him, then that would taint the honor of a holiday in general. If everyone could have holidays made for them, holidays wouldn't be special anymore.
If they make a holiday on here for her, I simply think it would be ridiculous; because really... if they make a holiday for her, why not make one for EVERYONE on ProgressiveU who has died/will die. Are they going to celebrate EVERY SINGLE PERSON on ProgressiveU who dies? If not, why just her? What, are all the rest of us chopped liver? Do we not get a say? What would happen if I were to die tomorrow? No one on this website would even notice, or care; except maybe Kinkatia, because she and I have become good friends. Then again, the blog I'm writing right now won't gain the favors of many people, either. I no longer care. I've made up my mind that I'm going to say what I want to say, without editing it to make everyone happy. I don't care if my blogs make people unhappy anymore. I'm going to write about whatever issues I want. I'm not going to avoid issues because other people might not agree with me. That's not what this web site is about.
I realize that a lot of people admired Kiota, and I realize that a lot of people will be angered and hurt and think it blasphemy that I don't share the same views as them. Well, I can live with that. The truth is, I DON'T share the same views, most of the time; and that's not going to change.
I'm getting the feeling that this website is not for me. I have a passion for writing as well; except I tend to lean more towards poetry and fiction. That's where my strengths lie. I'm not so good at getting my point across clearly, or writing about reality, or politics, or most of the other things that people on here who have a good reputation write about. I've tried to keep my topics paralell to the things I know to be fact, rather than my opinion. I guess what I'm trying to say is... this site makes me feel out of place. I'm very much out of my environment here because we're supposed to write about progressive things. I've come to realize that maybe I'm not all that progressive. I tend to dwell on certain things, and I hold grudges like you wouldn't believe; so maybe this web site isn't for me. If it were a "create a story or poem and you'll win a scholarship" website, that would be right up my alley. the truth is, I'm terrible at this progressive writing stuff. I'll admit it!
And this is why I am seriously considering leaving this website. I'm sure after reading this blog, that last statement will make a majority of the people quite happy. All I'm saying is, don't get your hopes up too soon. You have yet to see the last of me.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
Do you like, want a cookie or something? Maybe a special kind of recognition for being the only one with the guts to speak out against someone many respected and admired on this website, along with others? Maybe you just need a hug? You sound a little bitter.
Kiota touched a lot of lives on this website. She spoke on topics of importance and wrote with conviction, using personal experience in a few blogs to further express the seriousness of the issue she was covering. Her arguments to others were researched, and based in fact.
She shared her goals and her plans for the future. She was committed to helping others.
Should she be worshipped, looked upon as a martyr? No. Nor is she. No "holiday" is being planned for her. However, she did have a tremendous impact on this website. She wasn't God, or Ghandi, or Mother Theresa, but she wasn't an everyday bloke, either. She was an extraordinary example of the progression this website stands for. For that she is being remembered.
Remembered, not worshipped. She inspired many people and, for that, the big guy in charge would like to start something on the side in remembrance of her inspiring life.
If you didn't like her, that's fine. You're entitled to your opinion. But many people on this website did like her. They are remembering her and dealing with a loss that, to some, feels just as big as if they lost someone they knew in real life. You insult, not only the memory of Kiota in this blog, you insult all those who want to remember her as well. And, what's worse, you're doing it intentionally, "regardless of the consequences."
You wouldn't go to a funeral and say these things in front of the deceased's family; it saddens me that you feel your freedom of speech makes it appropriate for you to do it here.
read my blogs!
ProU
Not ProU
Some mistakes can't be undone/ it'll never be like it was/ and wishing for it only makes it worse
Rocky Votolato
The rest of this is to katiedidit.
Kiota would have won the scholarship. She was a VERY active member of the site. When she saw bullsh*t, she called it out. She called me out a few times. Rather than hold a grudge, I respected her for it. Sometimes, after examining her position on something, I realized she was right and I was off base. Sometimes, considering her stance made me more convinced of my own. She was great at inspiring that kind of introspection.
She would also adamantly stand behind your right to express how much you disapprove of honoring her. If she disagreed, she would tell you, and she would not mince words, but she would support your right to free expression 100%, as long as you do it with good grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
We are gathered here today to say our goodbyes, because some of us had a fairly intense relationship with her, as internet relationships go and we feel a deep sense of loss. We've lost a great thinker, competitor, adversary, ally, friend, and advocate. I'm sorry that you did not have the opportunity to get to know her better.
And you're right...holding grudges is the very antithesis of progressive thinking.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Well, considering we're not taking her points away or anything, she could very well still win the scholarship. There's only one person listed above her now, and that's without considering read points, which I'm sure she had quite a few of.
But we said we'd deal with that when we came to it.
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
Want the highest rated list to change? RATE those blogs, then!
I hope she wins it.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
And I hope she does too!
If so, the funds will not at all be misappropriated: there are already two charitable funds set up to continue her work, one of them actually at the alternative high school who helped her get into an American college. I also think that ProU is going to set up some form of memorial and this might be a perfect contribution to that!
Perhaps many don't know that Kiota grew up in a family of eight, and two of her brothers / sisters are approaching college age now. So it wasn't just a kind of frivolous gesture for Ki to want to get as much scholarship money as she could, here and other places, to lessen the pressure for funds on her family. Moreover, she delighted in getting high ratings because she felt she was reaching readers and encouraging them to think, and she also felt it validated her writing.
"To be on the wire is life. Everything else is just waiting." :Joe Gideon
A cookie sounds great right now, as long as there's milk to go with it! I like hugs, too!
However; I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I did not write this blog to anger or upset anyone. That was not my sole intent and purpose. I did, however, know that it would anger and upset people; but you know what? Toes get trod on all the time. That's just part of life. In a way, I'm helping you all to be progressive, just as you're helping me; as Kinkatia said. She said this quote, referring to Kiota. However, it can also be applied to me and what I'm doing now. I'm sure you and many others think that this blog is "mean" and offensive. Well, this statement that Kinkatia made can also apply to all of you"
"Sometimes, hidden in that meanness is something good and true that you can take to heart without being offended."
Yes, maybe my blog can be construed as mean. However, if you hold a grudge against me for posting this blog, you'll be hindering your own progressive thinking. After all, the well-known ediblewoman did say:
"Holding grudges is the very antithesis of progressive thinking."
So this lesson can be applied to all of you, as well. I brought up a major issue that we are all faced with at one point in time or another: holding grudges versus forgiveness. If you hold a grudge, it hinders your progressive thinking. I've realized that, as I've made clear in the last section of my blog. And that, in itself, is progressive; is it not? And this, of course, relates to the quote I referred to by Kinkatia. Yes, I may have been mean, but there is a lesson to be learned.
*******************************************************************
"Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance." -Carl Sandburg
"Poetry is thoughts that breathe, and words that burn." -Thomas Gray
***************************************************
I've never been quoted before! This is a big moment for me. Thanks!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
It was a very quote-worthy quote, lol. I'm surprised you've never been quoted before. You're very articulate.
*******************************************************************
"Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance." -Carl Sandburg
"Poetry is thoughts that breathe, and words that burn." -Thomas Gray
***************************************************
I'm very new here and so I didn't know the person that passed away. I do know that I enjoy reading your opinions. I think your writing is fantastic and I admire the balls that you have to post something like this. I honestly hold back on my opinions because I know of the huge backlash that will occur from most people and so I applaud you. I think this site would be far more interesting if people said how they really feel. I don't think you should stop blogging here...because then there would be more humdrum stuff posted that doesn't interest me. Anyway, I hope you reconsider.
Please leave me a comment- gradstew= graduate student...I'll leave you one too!
I'd like to point out that there is a huge difference between remembering someone and honoring them like a saint. Kiota did affect many people and many lives, from all over the world. Remember her life and what she wished to make of it is not a bad thing.
Also, as far as we know, Kiota is the only person that has died while being active on the site. If I were to die tomorrow, I'm sure many of the faculty members, as well as various other people I know on the site, would wish to do the same for me. If I die 10 years from now, when I haven't been on the site in ages, it's a completely different story.
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
Want the highest rated list to change? RATE those blogs, then!
Well it would make sense that they would commemorate you. You're a ProU Alumni Director. But what if someone who participates in this site regularly, yet doesn't get many reads, reviews or comments were to just suddenly die? Would they be commemorated, even if they weren't very well-known? What if they had written some amazing blogs, but were simply overlooked? Not everyone reads all the new blogs on the site. What if this person's blogs were among those that were simply passed over? That doesn't make them any less great. And yet, if they were to die, I don't believe they'd get the same commemoration that Kiota had. She was well-known on the site. What I'm trying to say is... what if there was a regular to this site that wasn't so well known, and they suddenly died? Would they get recognition? That's what i want to know.
The reason I brought up the mention of a "holiday" on this web site in memory of her is because of a comment on the blog about her death. "A Celebration of Life - In Memory of Kiota"
In the very end of this blog, he said "I would like to honor Kiota’s interest in participatory democracy by asking the ProgressiveU community how we should honor her."
A comment was posted by a user named lovenenvy, and at the very end of her comment, she made a suggestion on how we should honor her:
"And on the website hopefully we can have some kind of a holiday on here representing her."
I thought this to be a ridiculous idea, and with this comment in mind, I wrote this blog to rebuttle this idea of a holiday. Now is it relatively clear why this whole blog even came about? This blog is simply a disagreement to someone else's suggestion of having a holiday for Kiota. One day of solemn commemoration would be a suitable way to honor her, but a yearly day of remembrance in honor of her; (or in other words, a holiday as the term was used) would not, in my opinion, be suitable.
*******************************************************************
"Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance." -Carl Sandburg
"Poetry is thoughts that breathe, and words that burn." -Thomas Gray
***************************************************
If you know four people before you die, there will be four people at your funeral, provided you are in good standing with all four.
If you know four hundred people, there will be four hundred at your funeral.
And if your blogs are being overlooked, take a minute to assess why. Are you commenting liberally on other people's blogs, so you can build some relationships? Are you writing eye-catching titles? Are you posting at a time when they are likely to get reads? Are you writing with both style and substance on interesting topics?
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Well, I do understand the need to just get your thoughts out there and vent...
Now I suggest you take a good step back and just think about everything. Sure, she may not have been nice to you, but she did inspire a lot of people. And that counts for something, right? I think I know where you're coming from...I have a feeling that I've lived in your shoes before. Here's my suggestion for you: try to find the positives in everything in life. Try your best to see things from the point of view of other people, even if they are mean to you. Sometimes, hidden in that meanness is something good and true that you can take to heart without being offended. Maybe taking a look back at the comments she left you, and trying a bit more to see why she said what she did will help you feel less frustrated. If not, you can at least say that you tried, and that, my friend, is progressive. One part of being progressive is learning to deal with people who make you mad, learning to forgive and forget, and learning to understand how others feel.
Just take some time to step back, calm down, and think clearly about everything. Maybe read a few of Kiota's blogs, learn a little bit more about who she was as a person. If you understand her a little better, you'll most likely better understand how everyone else who got to know her feels, even if you don't agree with some of what they say.
And don't you dare leave this site...even if you've made people angry and offended them, this can be used as a learning experience. You're doing what I am here...learning to be progressive. And if that has to happen because you have an issue with some Kiota's friends here at ProressiveU and how they want to honor her, then so be it. I didn't know her myself, but I'm sure that if you manage to be progressive here and learn something from her death and everything following, then she would be happy for that. So now's the time to take that difficult next step toward better understanding everyone else so that, in the future, you will not feel so angry or frustrated about something that, if it were to happen now, would have you peeved. Now's the time to start learning how to be non-offensive when you have a beef with someone or something. It's hard to get there, but it is possible. I'm proof of that. I've been where you are, felt like you feel, and I've learned from it. I encourage you to do the same.
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
I would say that she did touch peoples' lives worldwide. She was a member here, and on several different sites. Her writing was touching, informative, and objective in most aspects. I think she was a good example of progress, even when I didn't agree with her.
I love abortion. Read more here:
http://progressiveu.org/044921-i-love-abortion-even-if-it-murder