The line has officially been blurred. Thats it, someone has taken the last uniquely fun thing about being a man away from my Y chromosomal brethren. Go and look at this before you continue with my blog, or else the rest will probably not make any sense. Here it is:
http://www.mysweetpee.com/index.asp
No more can we men mock our feminine counterparts with the age old arguement ender: "Well at least I can pee standing up."
Never again will we be the only gender that can write our name in the snow; your girlfriend can too, and it won't require gymnastics and yoga.
Now they are armed with "My SweetPee", and times they are a-changin', my sons.
With such wonderfully vivid and heartfelt testimonials how can they not sell a billion units? Testimonials like this one:
"One day last year, I was on a shopping trip with my wonderful Aunt Susan. We had to make a "pit stop" in the mall, and as soon as I walked in to the restroom, I gasped in disgust and found only one stall that wasn't clogged. I was ready to close the door when my aunt handed me a disposable My SweetPee. After telling me what to do, I used the device and I was so grateful!!!!"
They even have handy usage guides, reminiscent of those you find in an airplane that show you how to put on an oxygen mask, without strangling yourself. For your convenience they even have little pictures showing you both methods of usage. Mind you - one picture looked like a particulalry saggy condom, and the other could alternately be used to show a drag queen the "tuck" method in case she has decided to wear a miniskirt for her performance.
Invented by twin sisters in Houston, the site tells you. It goes on to say how extensive research and development was done in order to secure a patent. Finally, another way to use all those plastic walmart shopping bags! Way to go "green" gals! Or, uh yellow, as the case may be.
Really? Are your restrooms that obnoxious ladies? I know a men's restroom, is usually a hive of bacteriological and viral nastyness, only fit for scrawny men in rubber suits emblazoned with CDC logos. I know that generally guys have a bit of trouble with aiming when it's not their own toilet. I just always thought that a woman's restroom was bound to be more clean. I also thought that a lady's restroom had plush carpeting, an overabundance of pot-pouri, and also doubled as a secret meeting place for the Feminist Agenda. Guess I was wrong.
Supposedly My SweetPee is such the height of convenience it will fit in your purse. I've seen some purses that reminded me of a highschool senior's backpack. Overloaded to the point that I know some soldiers that would pale at the thought of hoisting a purse up a two mile hill. Hell, I've even seen some purses that could house a small family of pygmys during a heavy monsoon. Do you need one more sanitary device? It might end up breaking a back , then you'd have to find an injury incubus to sue someone. (Thanks Perish ;o) - see: http://www.progressiveu.org/184300-lawyers).
What the fuck do I know. I'd really like to hear from some of my female buddies to find out if this is a worthy product. It must be for some women, just look at what they have to say about it's ease of use on the FAQ:
"Whether standing toward or away from the commode, point the wider side in the direction of the toilet bowl. Shape My SweetPee sides like a funnel with your hands. Then just point and shoot."
Fanaile asked me if that was the way boys are potty trained, I said yes. Now we're all equal. Who knew that equality would come in the name of "Sweet Pee"?
um yeah totally. it also means golden showers can go for distance AND accuracy now.
When you take that bus, you get there.
http://www.myspace.com/ohamleto
Okay - I don't carry a purse or a pocketbook (I hate them) unless I'm on that special time of the month that mother's lie to their daughters about (magical...my ass!)...
But, I have seen some other women's purses... and I have to say; how convenient could this possibly be when you really have to go - and you're stuck standing (ha!) in a bathroom stall, digging through your make-up and notebooks and pens and receipts - and whatever else you're able to fit into those monstrosities, for this little "Female Urination Apparatus"?
eh
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"when you have nothing else to say, "Fwonk" is always the perfect thing."
"yeah well, fwonk"
--Devon
Fanaile Essence
I love that acronym F.U.A........ thats the sound someones going to make when they accidently slip whilst making the funnel, and MySweetPee ends up all over ThierWetFoot.
~~~><~~~
"One of the things that draws writers to writing, is that they can get things right that they got wrong in real life, by writing about them"
~ Tobias Wolffe
Oh, the horror!
Will no one think of the children!
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"when you have nothing else to say, "Fwonk" is always the perfect thing."
"yeah well, fwonk"
--Devon
Fanaile Essence
Oh I'm sure theyll think of the children when the children discover the disposable bags in the trash. Suddenly they have convenient "water" balloons... let the hilarity ensue...
:-S
That emote was WAAAAY too perfect for a visual!!!!!
:))
~~~><~~~
"One of the things that draws writers to writing, is that they can get things right that they got wrong in real life, by writing about them"
~ Tobias Wolffe
Hm... These two sisters from Texas may have inadvertently solved one of America's largest arguments...
[-(
Now both men and women can leave the seat up...
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"when you have nothing else to say, "Fwonk" is always the perfect thing."
"yeah well, fwonk"
--Devon
Fanaile Essence
I don't know. It looks like it could be messy... the way peeing in a cup for urine samples is messy. Unless it maybe covers the entire perineal area. Unlike the way I imagine the urine coming out of males in a nice, steady, straight stream, female pee doesn't really have a precise movement.
Maybe that was too much information.
And just to answer your question, I have seen some pretty disgusting female restrooms, and heard stories of some exponentially worse than what I've seen. But, really, there are ways to deal with it other than getting an external catheter. A catheter (the regular kind) at least makes sense to me.
I'd buy it as a gag gift.
read my blogs!
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written 3rd act.~Truman Capote
Well if its one of those regifts than it will certainly be a gift that would make one gag.
Ew........ EWWWWWWW.......
Bad Visual..... outta my head
:|
~~~><~~~
"One of the things that draws writers to writing, is that they can get things right that they got wrong in real life, by writing about them"
~ Tobias Wolffe
I believe it is just something else to waste money on. Rule number 1 the first bathroom stall is the best one to use. The reason? Because it has the least germs because people tend to go to stall 2 or 3. I believe it would be good for car trips maybe, because I always pee on my leg if I try to go in the woods when there is no bathrooms around. Sorry about the details just being honest! Other than that it seems like another piece of junk to carry around. I hate purses to.
I am here to inform and help:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
Love comments? I do too!
And you just know some poor schmuck out there somewhere bought some of these for his wife. Probably after a camping trip - after hearing her complain about how hard it is for women to go to the bathroom out in the woods somewhere.
But you're absolutely right, LOL, it's just another piece of junk to spend money on.
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"when you have nothing else to say, "Fwonk" is always the perfect thing."
"yeah well, fwonk"
--Devon
Fanaile Essence
I can't imagine that the reusable one DOESN'T smell like pee, even after it is sealed in its plastic bag. Maybe that's why my crazy neighbor smells like pee all the time...she's on the cutting edge of pee technology.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Maybe that's why my crazy neighbor smells like pee all the time...she's on the cutting edge of pee technology.
OH MY GOD!!! That almost made me choke on my morning meds.
:))
~~~><~~~
"One of the things that draws writers to writing, is that they can get things right that they got wrong in real life, by writing about them"
~ Tobias Wolffe
She has big pockets on the coat she wears year round. The SweetPee would fit in them. This is my new theory. I was convinced that she was soaked in dog urine before I knew about the SweetPee, so your research has potentially improved neighborly relations in my building, although I'm not sure how I feel about the idea of a urine soaked funnel in her pocket, either.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
How will you discover if your theory is correct?
I suggest you experiment. Something in the order of a needle ducttaped to a broomstick. When shes not looking poke her pocket. Everything will be confirmed if an ever increasing darkspot appears on said coat.
And on the bright side, if the "apparatus" is indeed there, and does burst, then you might cure your naeighbour of smelling like urine....
[-(
~~~><~~~
"One of the things that draws writers to writing, is that they can get things right that they got wrong in real life, by writing about them"
~ Tobias Wolffe
I only ever see her in the hallway. Why would I do something that could potentially make our hallway stink MORE? We're actually trying to get some vulnerable adult assistance for her. That might be nicer for her than poking her with a sharp stick.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
You know, I remember a product that was an actual funnel type device... fit over the entire area and funneled it into a nice small area. Can't remember much about them now, though.
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
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I don't want to carry in my bag the thing that I pee on!! Are you kidding?? Sick.
Honestly, if you haven't learned to put toilet paper on a public restroom stall, then maybe you should just stay home. Or if you are afraid to squat to pee when you're camping, maybe you shouldn't be camping. It's honestly not that awkward. You just squat. Seriously. This is really ridiculous.
I'm so tired of modern conveniences. They make life more complicated.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/kariskoett
"All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else."
-Buddha
Check this out:
http://www.rei.com/product/407267
Yep, I think the FUD came before the FUA. I remember seeing this when I was looking for camping gear. I laughed then, but the Sweet Pea is a riot. My favorite thing is the "citrus sanitizing spray" that they include. I can just imagine hearing the sounds of a big bathroom production in the next stall with the search through the purse, the crinkling of the bags and lots of citrus spritzing.
I personally think I would be more likely to pee on myself using the sweet pea. Urination is not always an easy task for a woman, but come on. There's nothing wrong with squating over a nasty toilet or in the woods. It's not rocket science.
I think the girls from Texas would need a full body suit to be able to pee in China. I hope they don't have blatter problems though. Sounds like they have had to hold it a lot if the facilities were not up to their standards.
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
Well, although I can see why some women would prefer this interesting product, if a bathroom is that disgusting (and, yes, some gas station restrooms are completely disgusting, most likely because they are unisex) I don't even want to be in there standing. I just take my vehicle to a nice secluded spot with some napkins and squat. My mom even taught me how to use the bumper of a car for such occassions! The odor outdoors is usually much more pleasant than in those disgusting bathrooms.
The transgendered have been WAY out ahead of the rest of us on this. A female to male transgendered person can purchase a packing penis that actually allows them to stand and pee in a men's restroom without getting their ass kicked. It looks completely natural, and you just tuck it back in the "pocket" of of your briefs when done, just like a bio-male. I'm not going to tell you what it''s called or provide a link, because I don't want to run the risk of anyone getting disrespectful about it...not you guys, of course...but a lot of people read the blogs. It's an amazing invention and not to be laughed at.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Oh dear. I can't believe someone even came up with this, least of all a pair of women!
~ *~
This is a signature, an automated thingy that pops up when I comment, not a demand to see my blog!
Mind Control is Easier Than You Think
At first, I was going to just gape in shock. But then I read all these comments...
rofl
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
I cannot believe that someone actually came up with this device! It's unbelievable. Who in their right mind would use it!? Ridiculous. I agree that while public restrooms can be quite disgusting, but who would want to carry something like that around with them? Ugh! The things that people come up with just to make a buck or two.
Rachel Hill
Human Services: Child and Youth Specification
Cazenovia College
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People stop sacrificing for one another, they lose what keeps them human.
While in Israel with my boss' congregation a couple of years ago, my young charge, of Poo and Redemption fame, kept having accidents on the seat of the tour bus, because the bus driver kept saying she had to hold it till the next stop. After the third upholstery cleaning, Moti, the driver, pulled over immediately whenever he heard the word "potty." Because the rabbi felt it would be undignified for him or his wife, the cantor of the congregation, to help Miss M pee on the side of an Israeli highway, I got to help her. We ran off into the desert to find some modicum of privacy (not easy when there's zero vegetation). The ground was so dry and packed so hard that when Miss M squatted and peed, with me helping her balance, the urine just splashed back at us. We returned to the bus covered in pee mud. I think the SweetPee might have been useful for diffusing the stream a bit. Or at least aiming it away from our ankles.
Gross but true.
And for more context on the Poo and Redemption bit:
http://www.progressiveu.org/134002-naaaannnnyyyy-i-have-something-shoooo...
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
LOL... that is a great story.
I, personally, have always (always) refused even a simple camping trip simply because I cannot stand the thought (it makes me physically ill) to think of an unclean bathroom...much less the bugs and other vermin travelling the ground. Ask anyone that knows me well... and they will tell you that I have an irrational phobia of bugs - any bug - and even slightly less a phobia of bodily fluids.
Which is weird - because I can (in fact) stand the sight of my own blood...but listening to people blow their nose, hearing them cough, or even seeing them bleed...hell for that matter watching myself spit out toothepaste - makes me nauseous.
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"when you have nothing else to say, "Fwonk" is always the perfect thing."
"yeah well, fwonk"
--Devon
Fanaile Essence
Do you have to brush with your eyes closed? Someone should develop a portable, foldable, cardboard shield for that, in case you have to brush your teeth on the go.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman