Attack of the Blogs.

Considering this is the first of probably very few blogs you will ever get out of me, I will start of with an introduction of who I am… and what I’m all about.

1. I curse…a lot. If that offends you, well then too bad. I don’t apologize for my inability to limit my vocabulary for someone’s sensitive eyes and ears.
2. This is a Non-PC zone. No political correctness is allowed. If you have something to say, say it. Cuz I sure as hell will.
3. I don’t care for grammar here. It’s the internet people, lighten up.
4. I’m a Republican AND a Pragmatist. Yes I am big foot. Eat me.=)
5. I’m a bit of a pervert. Not Megan’s law sign on my front lawn pervert mind you, but enough to entertain and disgust you…at the same time.
6. I’m artistic, cynical, and a hopeless romantic; I hate people but love the company of friends. I am the voice of the people and the devils advocate. I am all things to all people, and nothing to no one…all because of one thing…”when you take that bus, you get there.”

Now that that bull shits done and over with its time to get to the actual subject of this single page essay:

Blogs

Everyone has heard of them, everyone has read at least one in their life; either because of a recommendation from a friend, or a random forum post, or a link from your friendly neighborhood news portal. The definition of a blog is more vague than the democrats vision of “change.” It can range from a small paragraph about some emo girls date rape experience to an online publication of someone’s research on the origin of mental masturbation. Ill go ahead and let you search for the irony in that yourselves. Point being, that the blog phenomenon has called an open season on internet bandwidth.

It has be come a veritable “who’s that?” of internet whoring, the likes of which hasn’t been seen since that time in debate club, no one cared what your opinion was then either.

I remember a time when we wrote our thoughts and fantasies in journals and diaries, or for the more artistic bunch, written with cut and pasted pieces of news paper letters anonymously slipped in that cute girls locker…you hear that nancy! You wont be getting mr. cuddles back until you go out with me!!

*cough*

Anyway, the point is society made it a point to keep their dysfunctions secret. It was healthy and less awkward. Now that your best friend since 2nd grade has a myspace you know way too much about his nipple and wax fetish. There is so much dirty laundry being aired on the internet that even Persians are starting to feel comfortable blogging. It doesn’t help when looking into someone’s digital closet and seeing their skeletons spread eagle shibari style on the coat rack. Some shit should just be buried deep down in the pit of your soul. Or you can just drink till you pass out. Because honestly, you’re no fun if you don’t either.

Now you have the poor mans Keith Olberman. The kind of blow hard who has a great big hair across their ass about something and has to make sure you think they’re right. These political crusaders rarely have their heads out of their asses long enough to actually sit and read the diatribe they write. God forbid they got a little oxygen to their brains and actually saw the same world we see on a daily basis. But, at the same time you cant blame these irrelevant paper warriors for wanting to be acknowledged. Their lives mean so little that it’s the only thing that helps them wake up in the morning. Other wise we are left with a hollow shell of nothingness who would rather be hated than not noticed at all.

So this giant cock sucking contest we call the blog-o-sphere is apparently here to stay, and since I’m a go with the flow kind of guy ill go along with it. But the next time you climb atop your soap box and check the batteries on your bull horn just remember, there are millions of people around the world doing the same thing. With that many people talking shit as if they had a mouth full of it, those with something worth saying will be silenced.

Oh and uh. Leave Britney alone.

Of course that’s just my opinion I could be wrong.(yes I stole it sue me)

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