so it was my first birthday cancer free and I wanted all my girl friends to come to dinner w me to celebrate. My best friends dont really get along, like their personalities dont really mesh well...but in the past they tolerated each other. so Kelsey calle about 45 minutes before we were suppose to meet for dinner and said
KELS--"I'm not goiing to go because Melanie is gong to be there and I don't want to start shit"
ME--"Shes not going to start anything she doesnt really have that big a problem w you"
Kels-- "well i dont want to be uncomfortable so ill just give you your present tomorrow"
That really bothered me that she couldnt even sacrifice being kind of uncomfortable for like an hour...there was lots ofppl there though so I don't get y she couldnt just be in a big group. so I called her today to ask why she was acting like that and express that it hurt that she didnt want to be there for my birthday.
ME-- "what was giong on last night?"
Kels-- "what do you mean?"
ME--" well with not wanting to come cause of melanie"
Kels-- "YOU SHOULD JUST RESPECT THE FACT THAT I DIDNT WANT TO BE AROUND HER"
Me--"Well YOU should have respected the fact that it was my birthday and I wanted you to be there"
Kels-- "IF SOMEONE YOU HATED WAS HANGING OUT W ME I WOULD RESPECT THE FACT THAT YOU DIDNT WANT TO BE THERE"
Me--" IF IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY I WOULD STILL GO EVEN IF SOMEONE I HATED WAS THERE"
Kels-- "whatever....**click**
yeah she hung up....was I wrong for just asking what was gong on and telling her how i felt about her flaking on my birthday
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I think you were both a little at fault. I think you should have been more respectful of her decision- it IS a little selfish to expect people to sacrifice their own comfort for your own. On the other hand, I think she should have reconsidered her decision--as you said, it wasnt just another birthday but the first cancerfree birthday, and that is truly an extra special occasion. Just my opinions, though, and others may disagree.
Hug a musician, they never get to dance.
Could you have compromised and had some other arrangements? Is there any way maybe you could have had two parties with your friends on separate occasions where neither girl would feel uncomfortable? Sometimes it is easier to deal with someone you don't like than at other times, like if you are not feeling particularly well it is harder to deal with a difficult person.
yes I could and would have compromised... when I talked to her the day after my birthday I was planning on just having a Bday dinner with her on the weekend, and was just asking what really was up... but then she blew up at me, and because of numerous other things that she has done to me I was done with her. I had and have no desire to stay her friend anymore. Because there will always be problems with her and my best friend of 7 years. And I was sick of the drama cause by Kelsey. So it's just easier this way.