I thought he loved me

Four years ago I met the person who would become the father of my two children. It was my last Semester at Hillcrest High School when I met XXXX, we had four classes together and it was love at first sight. I felt incredibly loved by him. He was American and I was new in the country, I barely knew English and I had faced horrible experiences in the country. But he didn’t care much about my past, he showed me true love.
My relationship with him was a typical one. We had our ups and downs but I thought that love was our solid base that no one would be able to break. Not long after we started our relationship I got pregnant, I was 18 years old and abortion was my first response to the doctor. He told me that it was my decision and I was scare to tell my mother about my situation.
I thought abortion was the right thing to do, I was young and I was still in High School. I was the trouble-maker in the house and people didn’t expect much from me. When the day of my appointment with the doctor came, I couldn’t do it, I cried because I didn’t want to kill my first unborn baby but for some reason I felt pressure but society. I walked out from the hospital and not knowing if I did the right thing or not but I decided to keep my baby. I told my self “this is my baby not anyone else’s”
My boyfriend did not care much but he was around. As my belly grew, he became distance. He wanted to talk to other people and act like the teen he was. Every time I would break the relationship he would come back saying that he would never do it again. I thought he was telling the truth, I thought he did love me.
We moved in together and things became worst than ever. I became dependent on him. He made me believe that I was nothing if I wasn’t with him. He made me believe that no one else would ever love me the way he does. “Who would want to date a single teen mom?” when my baby turned 1 year old he decided he had enough so he walked out. Soon after, my doctor told me that I was carrying another baby.
I thought to my self “he was right, who would ever want a girl like me? two children and no education” I cried for days and weeks because I thought I needed somebody to help me. He came back while my pregnancy stating that he had realize family comes first and that he was willing to fight for his family back. However, we struggle to keep a good relationship, we had many issues and he was not used to taking care of two children.
The time passes by when I realize that I didn’t need him anymore. He was not only putting me through hell but he was also putting my children into situations that are not worth it. On his last attempt of suicidal I decided that it was enough. Enough of lying to my self, enough of giving him excuses for the way he reacts, enough of the bad times because I wanted to be happy. After a couple of months I discover that he had stole 3k from my bank account. Money that I didn’t even had. Why would he want to hurt me like that?
My children don’t deserve anything by the best. I thought he was the love of my life, I thought he was the right person to be with. My children are my priority and thanks to my children I became stronger than ever. Now, I look forward and I know now he doesn’t love me or my children.