High School Relationships are bullshit

it's nice to date in hs, but i agree you can't find love there. It's too young of an age for true love. i'm a girl and i believe what you said your friend said. it was a little vulgar so i'm not going to quote it. it was about guiding. Anyways, it hurt me when i first found out this truth but now i'm over it. That's life isn't it. Let downs are everywhere.

hmmm... I've been in the same relationship since I was a Sophomore in high school, and I'm now a Junior in College. I obviously don't think that ALL high school relationships are BS, but I do see your point about most people hoping that they're going to find "the one" in high school and then feel depressed when that isn't happening.

But there are ways of transitioning a high school relationship into a more mature, adult one. So don't give up on someone simply because high school is ending or whatever.

Not all but certainly most high school relationships are crap. lol I agree. They don't know what true love is yet and most of them are just testing the water. They're doing it probably because everyone else seems to find someone. Dating is extremely popular in high school, so peer pressure probably has a lot to do with it. Or maybe the feeling of not wanting to be "lonely" or an "outcast". Kids would definitely want to fit in or have at least one person to support them. Who knows...

High school is about "innocent" experimentation. High school is where you date guys that are led by their dicks so you avoid them in college. High school is the first taste of idiocy. Girls, we think we're ready for love in high school, and boys think they're ready for sex. In truth, both parties are so beyond the comprehension of either that it's almost truly pathetic. So I have to agree, high school relationships are bullshit. But it's necessary bullshit, it's bullshit that you have to struggle through as your first initiation into adulthood. You fuck up as a kid so that when it matters, you don't make the dramatically stupid mistakes. High school romance has a firm and stable place in American society. I don't think we can get rid of them, but if we can get through them with an open mind, nobody gets seriously hurt.

~ I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be! ~
RENT

rarely works anyways...It's when you stop caring that you find the person that makes you happy. My boyfriend was the loud asshole at the bar but after I had had a bad day he wrapped his arms around me and told me I was wonderful so don't let it get to me...He's 35 and I am 21...He's not what people called "my-type" but he makes me happy...I love his furry chest and his beer gut...LOL. He is not at all romantic or PDA or anything but he is ALL mine...So yeah, they are always before your eyes, but never perfect...until you love them.

you never cease to make me laugh.

I actually wrote a whole term paper on this topic my sophomore year. I'll post it here. Comments please? Please keep in mind I was a sophomore when I wrote this. My views are still the same, but my writing has definitely improved. ^_^
I Love You…Not
“I love you.” These three words are uttered daily by high school students in dating relationships all around the world. In an increasingly liberal society, dating one-on-one in high school has become an accepted and encouraged notion. Children of this generation are brought up with stories from their parents and grandparents about how they met the love of their life in high school and got married afterwards. Reality strikes in the fact that those events occurred over twenty years ago in a vastly contradistinctive world. The fairy tales of the older generations cannot exist in the modern era any longer. With the media’s encouragement of sexual activity at a young age, date rape is now creeping its way into high schools. Once actually considered a place of learning, and preparing adolescents for their future vocations, high school is now a playground of drama and emotional tension for students. Without doubt, the youth of today looks older and more mature than the youth of the older generation. If only the majority of the younger generation are actually as mature as they seem to be. Then of course, is the popular force that drives students to do most of the things they do in high school – peer pressure. So although high school seems like the ideal setting to plant a one-on-one dating relationship and cultivate it into the Cinderella story, the flowery romance of your dreams will most likely disintegrate.

According to a study taken approximately one year ago by the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention):
Studies showed that 9 percent of the 14,956 high school students who
were surveyed had been victims of physical dating violence, and one in
11 high school students reported being a victim within the previous 12
months. Thirty-four percent of all participants were currently sexually active;
9 percent had attempted suicide; 28 percent drank heavily; and 33 percent
had been involved in physical fighting. The survey found that students who
were victims of dating violence were more likely to engage in these risky
behaviors compared with students who had never experienced dating
violence. (Pamlo)
With the onslaught of adolescent violence and promiscuity among the media, date rape and dating violence is becoming increasingly prevalent. The after-effects of physical and sexual abuse last a lifetime, and judging by these statistics, a battered, troubled generation of young adults is emerging. Also troubling, were the percentages of adolescents involved in suicide, physical fighting, and alcohol abuse. It seems like if the sexual predators did not get them, the other aspects would. Almost all abusive partners seem like the kind, respectful people on the outside, so it is very difficult to judge someone based on appearance and public behavior, which is how most teens base their character analyses on. Some teenagers will attend parties and “hook up” with someone they just met, whom they find to be physically or outwardly appealing. Therefore, it is best for students not to engage in a whirlwind of high school relationships with people that they have barely known. Since so many teens rush themselves into relationships, many will end up getting hurt, if not physically, then emotionally.
High school is a place to get a taste for the real world and for the smorgasbord of people who live in it, as well as a setting for academic schooling in order to prepare students for the future in which they have to support themselves without any help from their parents. It is also a place for developing friendships, strengthening parent-child relationships, and nurturing a respect for authority figures. Unfortunately, adding idealized love and dating into high school, can create emotional stress and unnecessary drama. Human beings live for true love, so what happens if all that humans are living for, is a lie? When someone is in love, they give away a part of themselves, and trust the recipient to treasure what they have received. If the receiver throws it on the floor and lets it rot, then the giver can never take back that part of him or her. Even if the giver tries to pick up the pieces and sew them together, it will be very poorly mended. Most teenagers walk around distributing a part of themselves to potential significant others until they have almost nothing, or a very battered rendition of themselves. As a result, everyone is vulnerable and prone to depression after heart wrenching relationships. Once these “wounds of love” acquired from dating is added into the other aspects of high school (homework, parents, friends, and authority members), students become overloaded. Now is the point when they have to let go of one of the high school aspects simply because teens do not have the capacity to handle it all. This is why students will let their grades drop, lose friends, or even disrespect teachers and parents when they are undergoing emotional stress. When parents begin to wonder why their child is behaving differently, they tend to take a harsh, reprimanding approach, which could instigate further depression in their teen. “90 percent of suicidal teen-agers believed their families did not understand them” (Yutopian). But what if the relationship appears to be successful, and does not include heartbreak? The same thing would apply. Real relationships take so much more than just sending flowers or making phone calls. Most teens do not have the accommodations, or time needed to grow the trust, commitment, and respect in a relationship, along with keeping the other facets of life in balance. Therefore, the other aspects of life (parent-child relationship, friendships, responsibility, academic goals, etc.) will have to be understated to make room. So, even if things seem to be running top notch in their love life, other areas may not be so peachy. As a result, teenage maturity now joins the arena.
When confronted with the question, “Why are you engaging in high school dating?” most teenagers answer, “Because I am mature enough to do so.” Perhaps the accurate answer for most teens should instead be, “Because I think I am mature enough to do so.” What is maturity? “Based on a broad study of the Old Testament and a concentrated study of Proverbs it is clear that maturity is characterized by three elements: self-control, wisdom, and responsibility” (Family Ministries). The first element, self-control, is defined as, “Not being ruled by passions, emotions, desires, wishes, or curiosity; freedom from having to do what one feels like doing; the ability to choose to do what is right; fosters the selflessness necessary for the love of others” (Family Ministries). This definition of self-control is a direct contradiction to almost every high school student. The majority of adolescents enter dating relationships in the first place because of passions, curiosities, and desires. High school students are curious about what it is like to have a girlfriend or boyfriend with whom they can indulge their lecherous, raging hormones. Most students are not in love with their partners, but actually in love with being in love. Young adults also have the tendency to be selfish in relationships, and put their needs above others. For example, “Therefore, they have already displayed immaturity by violating the primary element of self control. The second aspect of maturity is wisdom: “Understanding; insight; ability to learn from experience; ability to make sound decisions; handling stressful problems with a level head” (Family Ministries). After recovering from a messy breakup, some students will not learn from their mistakes in the last relationships, and immediately immerse themselves in a new one. In this second chance community, some couples will even break up and get back together numerous times, and experience heartbreak each time because they never learn from their actions. High school students also tend to have a low tolerance for stress, and many will crack under pressured circumstances, and make imprudent decisions. For example, a girl might think, “The dance is coming up, and everyone else has a date except for me. What am I going to do? I think I’ll just pretend that I like this guy, and he’ll ask me. After the dance, I’ll break up with him.” Stress with its origin in peer pressure would influence this unwise decision to hurt someone’s feelings all for the sake of appearing with a date to a dance. The last component of maturity is responsibility: “Accepting personal accountability for one’s own actions; faithful and conscientious work habits; integrity; reliability” (Family Ministries). So many adolescents are not even responsible with minimal things such as turning in homework on time, or keeping to their jobs and chores. If they cannot even take responsibility for that, it is impossible for young adults to have integrity and responsibility in love, a much more complicated and fragile subject. Therefore, even though a significant number of teenagers claim maturity, few seem to fit the mold.
When asked, “What is the purpose of high school dating?” many would answer, “Experience.” Sure, high school dating is an experience, but is it an experiencing worth taking? At first thought, it is practical for people to think that possessing experience in many areas of life is a helpful attribute. However, when most students talk about experience, they are referring to physical experience with the opposite sex. Physical experience is not a fundamental aspect in the heart of a loving relationship. If physical experience is what a loving relationship is based on, then in reality, the relationship is also built on fear. It is the fear of rejection if one cannot meet the standards of the ideal boyfriend or girlfriend. When two people truly love each other, they would not base their relationship on the dynamics of a “good kisser”. On the other hand, if the experience that teenagers refer to is emotional experience, it is still not something worth going through. It’s true that some adolescents will learn how to be more successful in constructing a loving relationship after dating trial and error. However, people don’t need to experience everything firsthand to learn from it. A man does not need to experience being burned in order to learn to be safe with fire. History is long, and just looking into the past can provide many examples of people who have learned from their errors, and even wrote novels about as a result. Looking into the experiences of others and applying common sense and prudence, will provide a lesson strong enough. Although, it is true that the lesson learned firsthand will stay stronger in a person’s mind, it is still better to learn the lesson the easy way instead of having to learn it the hard way. Well, what if the experience is referring to the experience of knowing and understanding the opposite sex? The contemporary world has implanted a false definition of a dating relationship into the subconscious of young adults. Back in the day, there was no such thing as dating. The process was called courtship, and decent gentlemen visit the abode of the ladies and “call” on them with the permission of the parents. In these situations, the couple would actually be able to know and understand more about each other as well as the opposite sex, because there was nothing physical getting in the way of the relationship. This example is of intimacy in its pure, unadulterated form. Dating in the 21st century has become much like the life cycle of shoes. People will go out and invest their money into purchasing a pair of flashy stilettos, as opposed to a comfortable, sensible pair of sneakers. The stilettos are then worn to superficial social occasions, in which they are shown off, while the sneakers would be worn almost daily in personal outings. When it is discovered that the stiletto is uncomfortable or worn out, it is simply returned or disposed of, opposite of the sneaker which would actually become more comfortable over time. Replace the money with effort and the shoes with people, and there exists an example of the modern dating cycle. In the stiletto relationship, which is the type of relationship most seen in high school, the couple only interacts on rare superficial terms, and will eventually dissipate due to awkwardness or anonymity. Meanwhile, in the sneaker situation, the couple will interact daily and actually become more comfortable with each other. Therefore, because of how the majority of dating relationships is done (stiletto relationships), there is no chance to understand the opposite sex, let alone the partner. Again, people do not need to engage in dating relationships with the opposite sex in order to know about them. Many couples will agree that it is actually easier to talk about the mysteries and behaviors of the opposite sex with someone that they are not involved in a relationship with. Although experience is accepted by the public to be a generally good virtue, not all experiences are worth becoming acquainted with. (Bailey, Courtship vs. Dating)
After all this talk about dating, what exactly, is the ultimate purpose of developing a romantic relationship? The final destination of dating is marriage, despite how modern society has defined dating. However, most students are not looking to get married during the course of high school, or even soon after graduation. Students have dreams and goals to accomplish, whether it is going to college, starting a job, or joining the military. Marriage is the last thing in the mind of a teenager, when he or she decides to initiate a romance. In a serious relationship, marriage should be one of the first things considered. However, since it most likely is not the first thing considered in high school romances, then the relationships established there probably shouldn’t be established in the first place, because they are not likely to be serious or long-lasting. No one wants to participate in a relationship if he or she knows that nothing eternally rewarding could possibly come out of it. It would be a complete and utter waste of time. To put it simply, “If you aren’t ready to get married, then you aren’t ready to date” (Ernsting). Well, what does it mean to be ready? Whether or not people are ready to get married, can only be decided by them. But looking into other relationships in their lives can help provide an answer. After all, a marriage relationship is not the only important relationship in life. There are relationships involving friends, authority members, parents, siblings, and even God. If the other connections in life are not healthy, then a romantic relationship would probably not be in the best interest.

I probably should, but I am new to this so I'm still trying to figure out how it works.

That's so true. People get so caught up with trying to find true love in higschool but I really think that people arent mature enough to handle a serious relationship in high school. Every couple that has started in my high school has ended. None of them last. Waht's even worse is when somebody dumps somebody for that persons best friend. It's so stupid and dramatic and well high school. It doenst happen anywhere but in high school.

No relationship or interaction in your life is ever pointless!
Adolescents is a creation of modern education. Before the advent of public schooling, your parents taught you at home until you were of child bearing age, then you went forth and multiplied as early as the age 13!
These kids were falling in love and getting and STAYING married... are we to say now that your 8greats grandparents were not in love with each other simply because they were 16 when they fell in love?
---------------------------
"Jesus take the wheeeeel!"
"I'm not sure she really understands how it works..."