This is my first blog in a long time....P.S. Sensitive subject matter...you've been warned.
There are a lot of things in life that one cannot prepare enough for in advance. Outside of first person experience, there is no way to prepare for it. Rape is one of those.
I was always the girl who would listen to the police officers talk about safety and don't leave your glass unattended at a party and so on, all the while thinking, 'whatever, that will never be me.'
Then, one day about 2 months ago, that was me. Although it wasn't a stranger, it was one of my closest guy friends. It was a party he was having for graduating the fire academy, nothing unusual except for the next thing I knew, I was waking up and had no memory of what had happened.
Rape is the most underreported violent crime. I never understood this until it happened to me. I had heard of acquaintance rape, or date rape, but always thought it was someone that the person had just met, or been on a few dates with. Not someone they trusted with their life. Not someone they'd known for a while. Not someone they cared about and would do anything for. Not a good friend.
The really sad truth is that 60% of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows and trusts. Even worse- Think of 4 of the females in your life that you're closest to. Then think of them all having been through this exact same thing...That's at least how many people the average person knows that have been raped in their lifetime.
What I find most disturbing is that in this 'progressive' society that we live in, the way most crimes against women (and in general) have changed drastically. Let's take domestic violence-Used to be, guy would get a warning, and that was it. Now, all you have to do is say, 'He slapped me here' and off to jail he goes-mark or not.
Rape, isn't like that. The guy who did this to me walked around free (and still is) for a month before being questioned. All I got told was 'don't make contact, and if he does, call the police and the detective immediately.' He only got pulled for questioning because he called 2 times a month after the incident. He didn't know I'd reported what happened, but still. And because he has more people to vouch for him, the detective believes him. I've had to prove myself over and over for the past 2 months, only to be told, 'I think you might have made a mistake and are trying to get out of it like this so your fiance isn't mad at you. If that's the case, here's my card, give me a call and we'll drop the investigation and not press charges'. No wonder rape is so underreported. Not only do I have to live in fear of the suspect's retaliation (he has anger issues), but now even law enforcement doesn't believe me.
Sorry about not remember...next time I'll make sure that even if I am slipped a drug, I'll stay away and catch it all on tape. Yup. And for added dramatics, I'll repetitively scream 'NO!!!'. Maybe that'll be convincing enough. Hell, maybe then I'll be able to get a restraining order on this asshole.
I know there are people who do that sort of thing (reporting rapes that really aren't, not the videotaping part.), but if you're sending people away thinking that the people who can make a difference don't believe them...what kind of message is that?
What really pisses me off is that the suspect has a prior misdemeanor conviction of non-consentual sex with a minor. The detective just kinda blew it off like it wasn't a big deal when I told him that. It's been estimated that the average rapist will rape 50 times before being reported...and this is at least the 2nd time, so that's at least 100 rapes, theoretically. Hell, it could be more.
Breaking the cycle, huh? If anything, it's breaking the trust I have in the criminal justice system.
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