"Annie on My Mind"....The freedom to explore...

Published in 1982, amidst controversy because of its positive portrayal of gay characters, was Nancy Garden's Annie on My Mind (Karolides, Bald, and Sova 404). There have been several attacks on this piece of literature because it has two 17 year old girls exploring their sexual orientation, even though there are no explicit sexual encounters in the novel.  “I wish some people who challenge books about gay and lesbian kids could see the letters that authors of those books and I get from readers,” states Nancy Garden, “thanking us and saying our stories have helped them and reassured them, made them realize they're not alone, shown them they're not doomed to unhappiness – and even, in a few cases, saved them from suicide” (qtd. in Gorman). Many older gays and lesbians reminisce and remember pining for a book like Annie on My Mind to be written. Those days are gone and a new era begins with positive gay role models and positive gay literature, but hardship for gay youths still exist. Annie on My Mind clearly examines several turmoil's two 17 year old females must go through as they are exploring their sexual orientation. 

           Ms. Garden was born in Boston, Massachusetts, and grew up in England and New York (“About Me”1).  Ms. Garden went to the Columbia University School of Dramatic Arts (“About Me”3). She wanted to be in theatre; theatre did not work out for Nancy, so she went back to college and received a masters in speech and then taught that for awhile (“About Me”  1-3).  “Then I got a job working for a man who called himself a literary agent but really ran an editorial service,” Nancy Garden states, “[…] I learned a lot by doing that [editing], and eventually I went on to real jobs in legitimate publishing” (“About Me”  3).  

            Nancy Garden then began writing her first book “Aloysius P. Bookworm” but never had it published (“About Me” 3). By 1971 Nancy Garden's first two published books came out and  she now writes as close to full time as she can, teaches a correspondence school course in writing, and visits schools to talk about writing and censorship (“About Me” 3).  Nancy garden is the 2001 recipient of the Robert B Downs Intellectual Freedom Award for her work defending her novel  Annie on My Mind  from an attempt to ban it from libraries in a Kansas school district and in 2003 she received the Margret A Edwards award for her lifetime achievement in writing books for teens, from the Young Adult Library Services Association of the American Library Association (“About Me” 3). 

           Annie on my Mind  remains Nancy Garden's most popular work. Annie on my Mind  unravels a story about two 17 year old girls,  Liza Winthrop and Annie Kenyon, who meet and become instant friends and then something happens.  They start having feelings beyond just friendship, feelings for each other: a kiss that leads to much confusion in both of them.  Liza ends up having the most difficult time with it because she has never really thought about being gay, where Annie has thought about it. They continue exploring their relationship, but choosing not to address any physical aspect, with the exception of kissing and holding one another, either by talking about it or physically doing anything.. Liza does much soul searching and research on what it means to be gay. Nancy Garden writes of Liza's feelings and how they start to smother her and Liza thinks to herself, “You're in love with another girl, Liza Winthrop, and you know that means you're probably gay. But you don't know a thing about what that means” (Annie 143).   Liza looks up homosexuality in her dad's encyclopedia and got mad because there was not one word mentioned about love. That made her mad. They are then found out by their schools' and their families' and end up separating because of the stress involved. But after awhile they end up resuming a relationship, which is a very happy ending for this type of book. 

            Many books written about homosexuals in the same time period as Annie on my Mind have miserable endings.  What possesses Nancy Garden write to books with gay and lesbian themes? In an interview with Cynthia Leitich Smith, Nancy Garden answers that question, “When I was growing up as a young lesbian in the 50s, I looked in vain for books about my people. There were none for kids, and the few I knew about for adults were always out of the library, which I later realized was probably a subtle (maybe backhanded would be a better word!) form of censorship.”  She goes on to say, “Why do I feel like such stories are important to young readers? I think kids in every minority need to see people like themselves in books; that's an acknowledgement of their existence on this planet and in this society. Minority kids often feel invisible in the world, […]” (3).

                       “In 1993, Garden's novel Annie on My Mind was taken off school shelves in Olathe, Kansas, because it addresses  lesbianism. Parents and students filed a civil lawsuit and the book was ultimately returned” (“Nancy”).  Nancy Garden expands on why she thinks books that contain homosexual materials are constantly being challenged/banned:  […], many attempts at banning books that are about homosexual characters and  issues are also motivated by sincere beliefs that such books are harmful – that  they will encourage young people to “become” homosexual, and that homosexuality itself is evil, dangerous, sick, etc.[…]I think it's important  whenever possible to try to inform those people of what homosexuality really is and isn't, and of the fact that one does not “become” homosexual because of reading a book. After all, gay kids read books about straight people all the time and they don't “become” straight as a result. (Smith 5) Suffice it to say that Annie on my Mind was banned and challenged for its homosexual content, even though there are no explicit sexual scenes in the entire book.

            Was Annie on my Mind a popular book?  Christine Jenkins, an associate professor at the Graduate School of Library and Information Science at the University of Illinois reports, ‘”The American Library Association (ALA) designated Nancy Garden's groundbreaking novel [Annie on my Mind] a ‘Best of the Best Books for Young Adults'” (1). Consider also, once a book is banned it produces an influx of interest about it, therefore helping to make it become that much more popular. 

            In Annie on My Mind, two young women meet and within their first encounter realize something is different. In the novel Liza's thought was, “Then a funny thing happened. We looked at each other, really looked, I mean, for the first time, and for a moment or two I don't think I could have told anyone my name, let alone where I was. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before, and I think–I know–it scared me” (13). It is common place for girls, more than boys, to have close friendships with the same sex, but in some instances the lines begin to blur. The majority of society would have it be said that friendship, even uncommonly close friendships are fine, as long as it does not develop into that deeper love that is portrayed in Garden's novel. Thomas Gregory, a clinical social worker, states “The pervasive theme throughout the book is love–love that seeks to justify itself, in spite of the fact that every civilization since the dawn of mankind has recognized such love as ruinous to family stability and individual happiness” (1).  Is this a fact? Does being gay truly ruin family stability or does being close minded and bigoted have a more likely chance of causing ruinous family instability? Clearly happiness comes from within each individual person and love can overcome any obstacle and lead to happiness. “[…] –you–you're–Annie, I think I love you. I heard myself say it as if I were someone else, but the moment the words were out, I knew more than I'd ever known anything that they were true” (Annie 94).

 

            Frequently  among teenagers there is confusion, as with Liza and Annie in the novel, about whether or not they are gay. “I think one reason why we didn't move away from each other was because if we had, that would have been an acknowledgement that we were touching in the first place” (Annie 77). In a society that is dominantly heterosexual it should come as no surprise that teens who are questioning their sexuality, against the norm, frequently become confused. Liza explains in Annie on My Mind: It was like a war inside of me; I couldn't even recognize all the sides. There was  one that said, “No, this is wrong; you know it's wrong and bad and sinful,” and  there was another that said, “Nothing has ever felt so right and natural and true and good,” and another that said it was happening too fast, and another that just wanted to stop thinking altogether and fling my arms around Annie and hold her   forever. There were other sides, too, but I couldn't sort them out. (93) Even Debra Stang, a medical social worker, agrees, “I realized I was a lesbian when I was a young teenager. Of course, I didn't know the word for it, then. I didn't even know there was a word for it. I just knew that while other girls were getting crushes on boys, I was getting crushes on girls” (2). Clearly, it is easy for one to see that teenagers will incur confusion around sexual orientation. This happens even when they are raised to believe that it is acceptable for them to be gay, simply because the majority of society remains straight. “We really didn't talk much about being gay; most of the time we just talked about ourselves. We were what seemed important then, not some label” (Annie 110). 

            “And we both moved at the same time into each other's arms, hugging. It was just a friendly hug at first, an I'm-so-glad-to-see-you hug. But then I began to be very aware of Annie's body pressed against mine and of feeling her heart beat against my breast, so I moved away” (Annie 103). It is common, even among adults, when questioning sexuality, to be scared of the intimacy. No sex education classes exist for homosexuals. Homosexuals all must learn that part on their own. Liza clearly depicts this turmoil in the novel: “The oddest thing, perhaps, was that even as winter went on, we still didn't touch each other much more than we had in the beginning, after around Christmas, I mean. But we did realize more and more that winter that we wanted to–I especially realized it, I guess since it was so new to me. And the more we realized it, the more we tried to avoid it” (Annie 116). Then, as that stage of any relationship, gay or straight, is resolved a bigger problem then exists, “And that was when there began to be that problem, too–that there was really no place where we could be alone” (Annie 122). 

            There continues to be many turmoil's that young adults encounter when exploring their sexuality. One of these is being caught or found out, and forced into a position of “coming out” prior to being ready to do that. In the novel the two girls are caught by one of the girls' school advisors and a friend and it is portrayed as a horrible thing, ‘”I was afraid for a moment that I would find young men up there. […] but what I did find– oh, dear heaven–is far, far worse–though I should have known. […] Sodom and Gomorrah are all around us, Sally.' She looked with growing disgust at me” (Annie 167). Do young homosexuals have a right to be afraid? Certainly, especially since this example is an actuality of many young adults who are caught, whether they are caught by a family member, school official, or a friend. It then forces these young people into a position of “coming out of the closet” before they may be ready. In an article by John Cloud, a noted expert on gay issues, states, “You don't have to be a right-wing ideologue to ask whether it's always a good idea for a child to claim a gay identity at 13 or14. Cornell's Savin-Williams, who is generally sunny about gay kids' prospects, notes that those who come out early tend to have a harder time at school, at home, and with friends than those who don't” (6). 

            Another hardship of teenagers openly announcing their sexuality is the depression and other issues that follows being ridiculed by peers and others.  The statistics that follow are from an online article “Creating Safe Schools for Lesbians and Gay Students” (5-6). Gay and lesbian youth are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide and 30% of the completed suicides are committed by homosexual youths. 28% of School drop-outs are gay and lesbian high school students. 26% of gay and lesbian youths are forced to leave their homes because of conflicts with their families over their sexual identities. 97% of students in high school report regularly hearing homophobic remarks from their peers. 53% of students report hearing those same remarks from school staff. That leads them into depression, where it has been found to strike homosexual youths four to five times more severely then their heterosexual counterparts. And then there are drugs and alcohol, 68% of adolescent gay males drink and 44% use other drugs, and 83% of adolescent lesbians use alcohol and 56% use other drugs. These statistics are scary, especially when one compares them to non-gay adolescents. What causes this? Maybe a lack of gay literature, a lack of  positive role-models, and a lack of acceptance. “Schools have an obligation to support and enhance the self-esteem of all students regardless of their sexual orientation” (“Creating” 4). Although it is significantly better then it was in the past, gays and lesbians, as well as, transsexuals, transgendered, and bisexual youths are still facing much harassment and negativity that is forcing them to remain scared. No one should have to live in a world of fear.

            There remains a benefit of having homosexuality in youth literature and that is to help alleviate the turmoil's and hardships that a questioning youth must endure. “Even gay students without such severe problems have a more difficult adolescence than straight students because they feel even more confined by the pressure to conform, and believe that an essential part of them is being dismissed, despised, or deleted from school life” (Schwartz). It remains important to look at ideas like this one, because no matter how hard people try to delete homosexuality in the literary world, it will still be here in the real one. Trying to erase homosexuality is going to cause youth's who are questioning their sexuality to become unhealthy adults with many problem both physically and mentally. Therefore, having positive gay literature available to the world's youth is consequential to their overall health.              While Garden's novel, Annie on My Mind remains popular with the gay community, there are also many oppositional views concerning its topic of homosexuality and youths. One of these opposing views is based on religion. Probably, being thee most common opposition to homosexuality, in general. Pat Robertson, of the 700 Club, comments, “Homosexuality means God has given up on society” as well as, ” Gays want to destroy Christians” and, “Entire world will suffer if homosexuality is accepted” (qtd. In “Religious Right” 2). These comments and many that are very similar are repeated on a regular basis by many of societies religious cultures, and yet it is ironic that they preach love, acceptance, and forgiveness. Why do these religious people forgive and find themselves accepting murderers, rapists, even pedophiles, yet not homosexuals? Joseph Nicolosi, head of NARTH and one of the religious right's top two ex-gay psychiatrists in the country, states: “Gay partnerships are bedeviled by cheating, teasing, fights, jealousy, rage, suspicion, envy, restlessness, and disappointment. Homosexual relationships are so characteristically volatile because the homosexual hates what it loves” (qtd. in “Religious Right” 7). It continues to amaze all senses that hypocrisy is so acceptable to these religious zealots. For example, they willingly throw out particular parts that they deem irrelevant to today's society and yet choose to believe that people, who would throw out parts of the scripture that examines homosexuality (though that word was never used), are being driven by the devil. Interestingly, “School book censorship is often but not always generated by those with strongly held conservative fundamentalist beliefs, and little appreciation for the values of tolerance, diversity, or intellectual inquiry” ( “ACLU” 3). The ridiculous notion of a religion preaching hate, just seems to go against the very principle they pride themselves on, ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'             Although there are definitely positive aspects of having gay positive literature, there also remains opposing views on homosexuality in youth literature. Many people believe that Annie on My Mind consciously promotes homosexuality and that children who read it will subsequently choose to be gay and also that it is just plain wrong. Thomas Gregory elaborates: It is this aspect that makes this book so beguilingly destructive. So much  sensitivity of emotion, such affectionate yearning–how could anything be wrong?  Any therapist who has ever helped an unhappy homosexual reorient his or her life […] would be able to tell Ms. Garden what is wrong. Homosexuality does not work because it contradicts one of the basic conditions for the survival of humanity, and thwarts the potential of profound happiness that heterosexual love carries: namely, that men and women were made for each other–physically, emotionally, and spiritually. (2)

 

Christine Jenkins takes a different side: Teens are in the process of becoming adults and learning what the world is like. Of course adults want to protect them from bad things. […] But it is also important to prepare teens for the world they'll meet as adults, and to help them understand it and form their own reactions to it. One can't do that by keeping the  world from them. Far better for them to encounter difficult subjects when they still have loving adults–like their parents and teachers and librarians–to talk to than to keep them so sheltered that they know nothing of the world until they are thrust into it as independent kids in their 20's. (3) Having gay themes in youth literature will only serve to allow that generation of kids to grow up with a more accepting and peaceful nature. No wrong exists there, regardless of the inert arguments against it. It remains a volatile subject, but it can be clearly seen that also having gays in literature will not turn someone gay if they are not already gay. 

            Another controversial issue to be examined is the position and opposition to gay and gay friendly role models. In Annie on My Mind, two teachers who are found out to be gay are fired even though they both had over 10 years at the school and an incredible reputation among the students and staff (Annie 221). The hypothesis among straight, and generally right wing conservatives, is that children should not have gay or gay friendly role models because these role models are simply trying to recruit them into the lifestyle. In contrast to that, there remains the feeling that everyone needs to feel as though they belong in the world and when one feels as though they are being singled out and rejected, often times, it pushes them into a state of depression which may or may not lead to suicide or other psychological problems. It is a frequent occurrence for teens, who are exploring their sexual orientation, to feel as though they are alone and will never be happy. What is sad about that is that the majority of the opposition to all forms of homosexuality will enforce that feeling, even though it is very possible for these teens to end up happy and in a monogamous same sex relationship.             Certainly, there remains opposition for censorship; censorship is running wildly rampant through the world and Annie on My Mind has been a victim of it. Censorship is the process of trying to thwart someone's rights of “Freedom of Speech” by trying to make the person's work, whether it is a movie, book, or song, to disappear. In the case of books, it is banning, and/or book burning.  In music, it is bleeps to cover up profane words and now even ideas. In movies, it is a rating system. Why are literary works banned/challenged? The American Library Association webpage concedes that “Books usually are challenged with the best intentions–to protect others, frequently children, from difficult ideas and information” (ALA|Challenged).  “According to the The 100 Most Frequently Challenged books, Challenges by Initiator, Institution, Type, and Year, the top three reasons, in order, for challenging material are the material is considered to be “sexually explicit” contain “offensive language” and be “unsuited to age group” (ALA|Challenged).  In defense of humanities First Amendment rights is Stevie Case, an Olathe East High School student body president, where Annie on My Mind was challenged and burned: This is an inappropriate attempt to ease controversy through the suppression of information. Political expedience does not excuse the abridgement of the most basic rights of citizens as affirmed by our constitution. If our schools and our society are to be successful, academic freedom and access to information must be  maintained without exception. (qtd. in The Advocate) Bravo, what strength and courage this teenage boy has, to stand up and revel only truth. Nancy Garden expresses herself: “I think it is important because one of the first steps to dictatorship is thought control, and one of the first steps to thought control is censorship. One of the greatest strengths of this country is our freedom to express our individual ideas and to be exposed to those of others so we can make up our own minds what we think about all issues” (Smith 7).

 

            It is, therefore, unmistakably noticeable that there are many controversial issues when examining the issue of homosexuality in youth literature. It is also evident that many hardships face today's youth when questioning their sexual orientation and determining that they are, in fact, gay. Bigotry continues to exist and as long as it does, it will force gay youths into crisis' situations. When the larger part of society opens their eyes, they will see that gay youth deserve to have role model's that they can relate to and positive reinforcements through literature and in other forms. “Youth are thrown into new realities through fiction. They are given new experiences through identification with characters and situations where they can make decisions. […], giving young people the opportunity to view the world and their lives from different perspectives, empowering them to make positive choices” (“Art”).

 

Works Cited

“ACLU Background Briefing: Censorship in America's Schools.” Electronic Frontier Foundation           3 Feb 1995. 23 Jun 2006.   <http://www.eff.org/censorship/academic_edu/?f=school_censorship_aclu.article.txt>. The Advocate. 10 Jul 1994. 23 Jun 2006.  <http://www.qrd.org/qrd/media/books/1994/book.banning.and.burning-07.10.94>. ALA|Challenged and Banned Books. 23 Jun 2006. <http://www.ala.org/ala/oif/bannedbooksweek/challengedbanned/challengedbanned.htm>”The Art of Healing Through Youth Literature.” 18 Jul 2006. <http://www.sgervay.com>;. Cloud, John. “The Battle Over Gay Teens.” Time Magazine 2 Oct 2005. 15 Jul 2006.  http://www.time.com/time/magazine/printout/0,8816,1112856,00.html.

“Creating Safe Schools for Lesbian and Gay Students: A Resource Guide for School Staff.” Apr 1997. 24 Jun 2006. <http://members.tripod.com/~twood/guide.html>. Garden, Nancy. About Me. 23 Jun 2006. http://members.aol.com/nancygarden/aboutme.html.

.. Annie on My Mind. United States: Farrar Straus & Giroux, 1982. Gorman, Michael. “Discussing the Forbidden: A Dialogue Between an Author and a Librarian.” ALA 14 Jul 2006.    <http://www.ala.org/ala/oif/bannedbooksweek/bbwlinks/discussingtheforbidden.htm>.

Gregory, Thomas. “Book Review: Annie on My Mind.” Leadership University 14 Jul 2002. 23 Jun 2006. http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/narth/annie.html;.

Jenkins, Christine A. “Annie on Her Mind.” 1 Jun 2003. 23 Jun 2006. <http://www.schoollibraryjournal.com/index.asp?layout=articlePrint&;articleid=CA30073>.

“Nancy Garden, Peacefire Win Intellectual Freedom Award.” American Libraries Online. 13 Nov 2000. 23 Jun 2006.             <http://www.ala.org/al_onlineTemplate.cfm?Section=november2000&;template=/contentmanagement/content;template=/contentmanagement/content display.cfm&contentID=4940>.

“Religious Right and Anti-Gay Speech: In Their Own Words.” HateCrime.Org 27 Mar 2006.<http://www.hatecrime.org/subpages/hatespeech/hate.html>;.

Schwartz, Wendy. “Improving the School Experience for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Students.”ERIC Digest No. 101. Oct. 1994. 18 Jul, 2006. http://www.ericdigests.org/1995-2/gay.htm-2/gay.htm.

Smith, Cynthia Leitich. “Interview with Children's and A Book Author Nancy Garden.” Cynthialeitichsmith.com. Jun 2001. 23 Jun 2006. <http://www.cynthialeitichsmith.com/lit_resources/authors/interviews/NancyGarden.html ;           >.