April 28 1997 1:04 am
Well hopefully David had a better day then I have. It was his birthday on the 27th. He is the big 30. He has a good stable job, a wife that loves him and wants to bear his children. Could I be any more opposite to him?
What ever course I choose in this life I must follow it to the end. Even though I don’t know when it will end or where, I just pray I will not be alone. It has been a year sense I realized I loved Val, I don’t know the actual date but I know it was in April. How can I continue on without her, and does she still love me? The other day I did a reading (Tarot) and asked if there was any hope for Vic and I. The final outcome was stated as getting freedom at a great cost. Yes am free of that nagging sense for love, but what was the cost? Can I ever be happy with another woman like I was with Val?
Only time will tell.
T
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Why yes I can be happy with another woman like I was with Val. Her name was Bren, which did not last either. Damn! I am 0 for 2. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! Talk about a slump.
Well hopefully Mike had a better day then I have. It is his birthday on the 20th. He is will be the big 26. He has a good stable job, a wife that loves him and wants to bear his children. Could I be any more opposite to him?
I see a pattern here. I have the good stable job it that counts for anything. I hate it, but it pays the bill so I can do thing that does not pay the bills. That is how my friend put it when he was working at his job.
When you can’t find the answer, you look anywhere you can. Sometimes reading Tarot cards help. I don’t believe that it will tell the future. The future is not set in stone. Tarot can make think of things that you did not before. “Freedom at a great cost” What was the cost, my innocence. I don’t mind paying that cost. I had to pay it sooner or later. Better sooner and then get it over with. I am a better person. A little cynical but with more wisdom then I had before. I can live with that.
(Authors Note. Sad to say that Mike's is no longer married. I am sorry that it did not work out but like I always have said, "Sometimes you have to walk though the manure to get to the flower garden." The girl he is seeing now is much better.
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But like you said it pays the bills. I used to be able to save money and I can't with the economy the way it is.
That sucks that your friend isn't married anymore...but like you said it sounds like he found a better women. Marriage is scary. I don't believe I could be able to put myself through the torture...lol. Kids are even scarier. I am at a point right now where kids really annoy me. And the thought of popping out something that large. If I could request a c section I would. I have enough issues..this would throw me into the point of no return. But I don't believe you will be alone forever. My dad is thinking the same thing right now...
I am here to inform and help:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
Love comments? I do too!
Don't be so quick to think about how you feel about kids. You never know until the moment when you look into a child's eyes and get lost. The quickest way to my heart is when a smile child gives me a smile, and if that child is a girl, I am totally lost.
I am not too worried about my social life. I have many other things to keep me occupied, so I will not be looking when love sneaks up on me.
I am not trying to be stubborn..it is mainly babies that annoy me. I find quiet babies nice. lol. Kids that are 1 year up are nice to be around. The crying is really what annoys me. I am very patient so I do not know why I get easily annoyed by this.
That is good about your social life. I am not really worried about my no friend life. I have less drama in my life. Friends on here are nice..just in real life I really do not care.
The sad fact of life is babies will cry. You can not have one with out the other. Until the figure out how to clone and accelerate the growth rate, we are forced to deal with babies in all the glory.
I mistakenly posted the same comment twice and since I could not delete it I decided to edit and add more to my last comment. Babies are worth every problem that comes with them.
A great point..I will probably change my mind as I get older but as of right now I have enough stress from life. And although I am a very unselfish Indiviual I am to selfish to have a child. If that makes any sense...