When Pushing Through "The Wall" Isn't a Good Idea

Winning isn't everything if it means your health is damaged. I learned this lesson the hard way. I was a runner, "was" being the operative word. I still can't really run without feeling discomfort and pain. I trained really hard in high school and considered running competitively in college until a serious injury crippled me in the fall of my junior year of high school.

The first thing to mention is that I'm really stubborn and don't really do a good job of taking care of myself. I'm better at it now, but back in high school, I did not listen to my body.

I didn't realize it, but my coach was a little too extreme. At the time, I thought he was an awesome coach and was just pushing me and my fellow cross country girls to reach our peak performance. I think the problem came with the assumption that those peak performances would equal a state championship. We got second in the state two years in a row. After that first second place finish, he really ramped the training up. I unfortunately got mono at the beginning of the season and was given a week off to recoup. I was running with mono. I thought it was fine. Everyone else around me told me I was doing the right thing, especially my coach.

Then there were the severe back pains about a month later. My body was trying to tell me that I need to stop and rest. There was one race where I felt stinging pains shooting down my legs, but I didn't stop. I was too stubborn to quit and everyone was yelling at me to keep going. At the end of the race, I collapsed and cried. People were nice about it, mostly parents, but my team was a bunch of jerks. Some of them acted like it was a good thing that I was so strong. Some acted like I was just trying to get attention. My coach was glad I finished. I don't remember what I was thinking because my body was screaming, "Stop running!" I considered bowing out of the season, but I didn't listen to my body. I ran straight through to the championship and we got second again. I collapsed again, I cried again, but at least it was all over. Or so I thought.

I stopped running, but the pain didn't go away. I had to have months of physical therapy, but even then, the pain was there at times, especially during my periods. I had previously been fine during that time of the month, but after my injuries, I thought I was in hell for about 6 days a month. I never knew when it was about to gear up either. My gyno at the time asked me all these leading questions about whether or not I had been abused or had sex already. I hadn't experienced either situation, so I was confused about what the heck was happening.

To make this long story a little shorter, no one really helped except for my then boyfriend, now husband. We started dating about a week after that final state championship coincidentally. He was the only one that didn't think something else was going on and encouraged me to listen to the pain I was experiencing. I bullied through it until things got better in college. I actually ran a little in gym for a few weeks.

Then everything rushed back. I think this time is was mostly stress and again, I wasn't taking care of myself. Lots of stress had gone unchecked for a long time. I went to a new gyno and he actually listened. We tried birth control first and when that didn't work, I got an IUD. Now I'm great.

I said all that to say this: Please listen to your body if you have pain. Pain is there for a reason. Also, everyone please pay attention to young athletes. Their bodies are still developing and there can be serious consequences if they overdo it. There's this idea in running that at some point in the race (usually right around mile 2 in a 5k), you hit a wall of pain and that you must push through it. We shouldn't always push through, especially if the series of pushes are going to cause years of pain and stress. I wish I had known when to say when back then. However, at least I came out on the other side and I'm learning not be so stubborn with my body.

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