"Yeah, you know what, I'm sure you're right. Everything is my fault. Everything is always my fault. In fact, Satan sent me here just to make your life miserable. Is that what you want to hear? Because thats what it seems like. Like just about everything that goes wrong in your life or your precious house is always my fault. It's always be the best but I don't deserve to get the best. I'm sorry that nothing I do is ever good enough to make you proud or even acknowledge me. I bet you would love to not be involved with me at all and the only reason you want me to go to college is so I don't have to be in your way. But it's not any problem of mine, I'm going to grow up and have a life that people will talk about for decades, I'm just sorry for you that you're twiddling away your life behind the screen of a computer, T.V., or set of golf clubs.
And I shouldn't even have to listen to a thing you say to me, you're not my father and you've made it completely clear that you aren't and have no intentions of trying. "
This was a vent I wrote when, once again, my dad (technically, stepfather) yelled at me for just about absolutely no reason. I just thought I'd share it to see if people can relate, I don't want sympathy, I want your "I feel the same way" or "that reminds me of how"..
I've talked to many close friends about their problems and it all comes to the same thing, our fathers all suck. Maybe it's a father thing, to not like your children, or maybe it's just an "Asian" thing, but I'm sure that at least 50% of the world had problems with their dads. I just hope that one day, I will never become the man who "raised me". It just terrifies me that people always end up saying "my God, I've become my father" and I just want to raise my kids in a way that I'll be both a parent and a friend, somewhat. I know I'll never be able to compare to their friends but I just want to raise my kids in a way where they can have fun with me in similar ways with their friends.
I know I might not be as bad off as other people, but I really don't think anyone should be raised by people who don't care about them. The Bible said to respect thy mother and thy father, it didn't say anything about liking them. It should work both ways.
And I do wonder..where do you go off to late at night?
Again, please don't leave a comment if all you want to do is say how you're worse or if you feel sorry or anything like that. It's a useless comment.
Thanks,
Marco
my dads a nazi. he crazy about everything and yeals at random things. i the oldest of his children, so if anything happens that goes wrong, he forgets them and yells at me.
once, while i was sleeping over one night at a friends house, he called me up and said i had to come home immediately, it was about 9:00, i disagreed and he agrued with me on the phone for about ten minutes. so i drove home and went to my room where he was waiting for me. he pointed at a sock on the floor and said "your room is dirty, clean it and you can go back over your friends." i was so pissed i picked it up and put it away and drove pack to my friends and stayed there till 9:00 P.M. the next day.
My dad was the complete opposite - he's the one person in the whole world that I know will love me unconditionally forever no matter what, and I know that me and my brother are his number one priority in this world. Don't stop reading.
My mom is the one who is the one I NEVER EVER want to be like. In fact, I remember being a small girl and consciously thinking, "I never want to be like her..." Every time I did something that reminded me of her, I immediately stopped, thought about how to be better than her, and changed my actions. I've been doing it ever since. "Never be like my mom." I experienced the same thing as it sounds like you are experiencing. Everything in our relationship was my fault. Our fights, our disagreements, the fact that we were poor, the cat hair, the messy kitchen, the computer breaking, when she dropped her pen - I grew up in total fear of my mom. And I'm not even kidding you. I would watch for her to come home so that I could be in my room when she walked in the door. I hated her for most of my life, and it is taking a lot for me to even care about her anymore. It was a rough childhood - I won't lie. After my parents divorced when I was 10, it was just my mom and I in the house, which was pretty rough.
You are not alone in this world of bad parenting. The only thing you can do is overcome. It sounds horrible, but you have to be a bigger person for now, just keep living and moving forward, and then once you are separated from the situation, you can really start to deal with it rationally and with help.
Many parents do suck. It's not just dads, though. My dad was my savior.
I guess its mothers for girls and fathers for boys that cannot get on with one another. Its probably the whole 'i see so much of myself in you, i just don't want you to make the same mistakes that i did' syndrome. In an asian culture the expectaions do tend to be higher, espesially if the parent has the eastern ideas and the child has the western ideas of how they approach life in general. My mother is the one that i can't get on with, everything i want to do with my life she thinks that its to hard for me to actully do and she just doesnt want me to be crushed with disappointment if i cant achieve it, and no, i dont want to be a movie star. My dad is the one that i want to turn out like, however much of a pedantic perfectionist he is.
Sorry is this isn't the kind of comment you wanted.
Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. ~Roger Miller
I thought my dad was a little crazy sometimes, and that the things he said didn't make sense. But when he passed away, I felt a deep resentment.
You say you hate your father, or whatever. But when you lose him, and you lose your guidance, you'll realize how you want to choke on those words.
I can't recall a single moment since I was 10 when my dad went out of his way for me.
He won't even drink out of the same glass or use the same fork
Well, late at night - to be honest - I have no idea where to go, because there's nowhere to go, really. Instead of physically going out, just play music full blast (through MP3, just for safety's sake) and read or do work or something. Call a friend, not to complain - it just makes things seem worse - but just to take your mind off things.
Don't know if that's helpful at all. But sometimes if there's nowhere else to go, you "make" a place to go.
I didn't need help channeling my thoughts, I just thought I'd share to see if people can relate. Thanks for the suggestion though, maybe someone who DOESN'T know how to work things out by themselves will read it and learn.