women should not have to fear

As I was visiting my boyfriend at his school this last weekend we were driving down the street and passed the women’s transit. He turned to me and expressed that it wasn’t fair that women could call at any time and get a ride anywhere for free. I turned to him and exclaimed that if men would stop attacking women we wouldn’t NEED women’s transit! In a joking manner he replied that men get attacked too. This is true, but men don’t walk to their cars with their keys between their fingers, men don’t worry about walking down a poorly lit street alone. Yes men get attacked but it is not at the same frequency and brutality that women get attacked.

In my women’s studies class I heard a terrifying story of a girl in my class who came from a community with high gang activity. She said that as part of a gang initiation they hid under women’s cars and attacked them as they got into their vehicles. She couldn’t even open her car door without fearing for her safety and having to check under her car as she approached it! This is absolutely horrifying. Why is it that men feel that we are nothing more than objects to be thrown about? It doesn’t make sense to me.

This is a problem centered in our society. The way women are portrayed in our society is sad. Just the other day in my sociocultural dimensions of physical activity class we were discussing the portrayal of women athletes. As our teacher discussed the way that women are seen as sex objects and covers are rarely action shots but posed shots usually not even relating to the sport the female plays, a girl raised her hand and said “what if female athletes want to wear less? What if they want to look sexy and get away from the dyke stereotype placed on them?” I couldn’t hold my silence to that. To generate more conversation and thought I responded this: “But who says that wearing less clothes is sexy? Who makes them want to portray that image of “sexy”? MEN! Men set this ideal of what is sexy. Women SHOULD be able to look sexy in UNIFORM, female athletes should be sexy just as they are, not because they drive race cars but don bikinis in magazines!” My teacher (who is male) looked a bit taken aback and responded that it was a very good point. I don’t argue that women should be able to portray themselves however they want but we also need to look at the social and psychological factors that go into the reason behind looking one way or another. I’m not going to lie, when I’m going out with my boyfriend I might put on a low cut top because I know he thinks it’s sexy. But I also know that he finds me just as sexy no matter what I wear. We had a similar discussion on strippers and porn stars in my women’s studies class. I believe there’s a difference between being a sexual being with a partner and taking your clothes off in front of nasty old men for money. When girls become strippers it only perpetuates the image that men have placed on us as sex objects. I believe that image then also translates to the violence inflicted on women, when we are seen as objects and not as human beings with personalities and feelings it becomes easier to brutalize.

Women need to reclaim themselves. We need to stand up and say that it’s not ok. It’s not ok that we fear for our lives at night, it’s not ok that we are portrayed as sex objects through degrading forms of media such as pornography let alone sports illustrated! Again I’m not saying it’s wrong for us to have a desire to feel sexy we just should be pressured to be sexy. Sexy needs to come from the inside and beauty should be about the person you are as a whole, not the size of your boobs waist and ass.
I am a feminist. But I am also a traditionalist. Overall I just feel that women shouldn’t have to fear and should be able to love themselves for who they are.