Two sides of the story: the nude beach and the sexual harrassment at the bus stop...

So I had an interesting day:
Part one: I went to a Birthingway picnic on Sauvie Island, in the Columbia River, which included grilling, beers and talking in the shade of the trees with classmates...I got there too late to pick strawberries with everyone else (we where having the picnic at a strawberry farm, so that people could pick strawberries, paid for by the student council, which was nice,) but I got there just in time to hear people discussing going to the nude beach to swim. It was about 99 degrees on Sauvie Island, so that sounded like a great plan! I squeezed into Terra's Toyota with her and Melanya, and we spent a good hour driving, looking for the nude beach...it was a wonderful drive, since all of Sauvie Island is swamps and farms, and I've been "stuck" in Portland the majority of this year...it was wonderful to just drive through farmland and look at ancient barns, cows grazing, giant osprey nests on the top of platforms built especially for them on the top of telephone poles (one even had baby osprey in them!), wapato swamps and many other sights to behold! It was wonderful! And then, once we got to the nude beach (or clothing optional, I should say, since 50% of the people there where clothed,) that was even better! In the culture we are in, I really expected to hear some rude comments or at least catch someone gawking at me and my classmates as we sunbathed and swam nude. After all, we are three very attractive young women, and unfortunately, it seemed that most of the other young women there where staying clothed. But we boldly threw our clothing off, and nobody said anything! It was awesome...it is rare to feel such a respect from other humans, and to be able to openly admire bodies for just being wonderful without feeling weird, or making anyone else feel weird. So that part of my day was great...and the water was wonderfully cold, and I sunbathed with Terra while Melanya joined a pick-up game of volleyball, and Terra and I chatted about Birthingway, and tribal living, and the ethics of having kids in such a fucked-up world, and all the other wonderful/important things you talk about with someone you really like and feel a connection with..anyway, it was amazing!

So then, Part Two happened: We got back to Portland and Terra and Melanya where going to another party, so they dropped me off at a bus stop. A really drunk, older man, probably in his seventies approached me and asked me to pay his bus fair. This is a normal occurrence, so I just said "no, I don't have money to pay your fair.." and excepted him to leave me alone after that. But he didn't. He told me not to say anything, that he would hit me if I did, to which I responded "but I didn't say anything to you?!" He responded by starting some of the worst sexual harassment I've ever heard...yelling about how he was going to "pimp my pink, white-girl pussy," how he "didn't give a fuck" and about how I needed to "learn how to pimp a dick..." I wasn't the only one he harassed...a few girls walked by with guys and he yelled the same things at them "yeah, I'll pimp that ass!" he yelled and "I could pimp that pussy..." The couples just smiled nervously and walked away. But I stood there, so angry I wanted to punch him, but afraid if I did, he would hit me back, and probably much harder. He just went on and on about "pimping my pink pussy," and "makin' me some money" and things like that. I was trembling with anger before I finally just walked down to the next bus stop, feeling somehow like I'd given up any feminism I'd ever had within me. At the next bus stop I saw a police car waiting at a light, so I walked up to their open windows and reported the guy, but I still felt as though that old man had somehow gotten the better of me, and that I'd done a disservice not only to myself, but to all the women that man had been yelling at, by not doing anything.

I just can't believe the dichotomy of the two worlds I inhabited today; being nude, on a beach full other other nude or partially nude people, I felt totally safe and fine, but being clothed, at a bus stop, I felt totally afraid and not even human in a sense...I felt like a big, pink pussy, just wanting to be fucked. I realized, suddenly, how easy it would be for someone to break me and make me into whatever they wanted...if that old man could make me feel less-then human in about five minutes, I wondered how easy it would be for a man to make a woman into his sex-slave, or his prostitute, or whatever...this was why I felt so traumatized afterward; because I realized that that man had had a degree of power over me, just by yelling and using harassing words..that is a very frightening way to feel, and I'll be happy if I never feel that way again.

Love ya,
Carrot