Why is it so difficult to forget certain people? How are certain people so memorable? Why are the so hard to deal with? They become a part of your life and you love them. You let them into your life Then they leave, or you grow apart, or you or they change. Or even more painfully, you find out something about them that changes your complete view of them.
Why do so many people have such messed up lives? Why are so many people so emotionally detached? I don't understand why so many people can hurt others, and not even realize it. I have been learning that a lot of people can't care. They want to, but they have learned to supress their emotions, myself included. I am learning, but how do I tell other people that they are emotionally unhealthy? They might not know it, but you can tell especially by the way the treat you. They might verbally say that they care, and even some times act like they care, but then they act like other things are more important.
I am tired of having to wait around for my friends. I am tired of feeling frustrated and disappointed.
My mom says that I am more likely to be drawn to those kinds of people because I am that way as well, but she also says that I am learning. I learned to repress from my mom, and now, thanks to her and my father, I am learning to express. Emotions are tricky things, and unless you realize what emotions you are feeing, you can't really understand what you are doing, or why. I don't want to be drawn to people who are going to hurt me, or who act like they care, but dont really.
Why are people so emotionally repressed?
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Sentiment has become an overstatement - people don't want to be "weird." Expressing your feelings is now considered cliche. Sometimes, because I am a non-romantic, it is bizarre to be the one to say, "I love you." But I've experienced similar situations with people. But you have to remember that, although suppression of emotions is a very real thing, people also have different ways of understanding and expressing their feelings, particularly love.
It sounds weird, but this is an easy way for me to look at it... have you ever heard of the 5 love languages? I think there's a book about it... but here they are anyway:
1) Quality time 2) Words of Encouragement 3) Touch 4) Small Favors 5) Gifts
Everyone likes a little of all 5 (and these are just 5 broad basic ones - obviously there are lots of ways to show love). But everyone has at least one, maybe two that they prefer to receive, and consequently are better at giving, than the others. For example, I am a Quality Time girl - I would rather spend time with my best friends than anything else. They don't have to tell me they love me, as long as they are willing to spend time with me. I don't need gifts from people - I just need time. Likewise, I am always always always willing to put time into my friends, to people that I care most about. I have had to work at being better with Words of Encouragement and giving Gifts because those are things that I had not originally valued within myself. But I know that other people prefer those things, so I try to be better at them.
What I'm trying to say is, perhaps your friends do not understand love in the way that you do. Maybe their love language is different than yours is. Maybe you need time, but they don't understand that. Maybe they need Small Favors, or Touch, or something like that. Since I've learned about these, I find myself looking for the ways that my friends give affection best, and then I try to give it back to them in that way so that they know I care in their own language. Does that make sense? So maybe if you start to give them the love that they want in their own language, they will start to pay more attention, and they won't seem so suppressed as they do now.
Just an idea. :)
very interesting...good advice!
people are emotionally repressed because they have been hurt in some way. They want to hurt other people because they have been hurt themselves. Since they have been hurt they want others to feel the pain they have felt. That is how it works. many people repress what they feel so others won't know. I know this because I do it. ( not hurt other people but repress feelings) Don't let people get you down you just need to find the right people that won't hurt you. They are out there and you will find them. There are good people out there, they are out there just keep looking and keep your head up. Don't dwell on the others that have hurt you. They don't deserve to be friends with you.
yeah, its amazing how difficult it is to interpret your own emotions sometimes...