I did not think I would write about this but alas I can not sleep. If I can remember something past twelve hours and that something still bothers me, I have no choice but to lay it out.
What happened was not child abuse, it was not neglect, and depraved indifference except nothing came of it. The worse part is that this can be considered the low end of normalcy caused by indifference, ignorance, and just plain lack of thought.
I took the kids to the ‘wood’ park. It’s a nice jungle gym for the kids made mostly of wood with all sorts of obstacle and swings. My son was off playing in his area and my daughter had just finished exploring by wanting to swing. She visited every toddler swing there. Then the epitome of ignorant foolish mothers came along.
I mentioned it earlier but now for full details of my disgust. The mother strollered her boy to the swing area and left him to set her purse a few feet away. I placed my daughter in the second swing by the mid support. The woman (can no longer call her mother out of distaste) took her son out of the stroller. My best guess is he is somewhere between a year and a year and a half. She bent down with a nearly finished cigarette dangling from her lips near his face to unbuckle him. She adjusted him to the other side, passing his face with in centimeters of the burning cherry again. Then, as she went to set him in the swing, he dipped forward nearly smashing his face yet again into her nearly burnt out smoke.
I was shocked but then the audacity gets greater. One of her other children have to go pee and the public potty is out of sight; the girl would not go alone. Until the point she asked me to watch her son we had not even made eye contact. Of course I agreed and put my daughter in the swing next to his. I had half the evil thought of leaving with the boy but I know better.
As I swung both kids I noticed his face and clothes had chocolate crumbs and icing on them. Did I mention it was at the latest ten o’clock? When she returned he had a coke to quench his thirst from being in the eighty degree weather.
I like to make excuses for people (I may have said that somewhere else). So if I were reading someone else’s blog about that I might argue that smokers are like that. Wrong! I fall in that category and keep it away from my kids as much as I can. I do not breathe stale fumes in the car. Plus if I have something I want to do with my children or some kind of emergency, rest assured, the cigarette is gone. No second thoughts about it. I sure as hell do not way the crappy habit dangerously in their faces, no excuse there. Or maybe that she need fast action to ward off wet panties. Wrong! I had been in that situation not thirty minutes ahead of time with a younger less controlled child. I took my dismayed daughter off the slide she so dearly loved and we high tailed it to the potty rooms. I will be damned if I let a complete and total stranger look after my precious spawn. There is never any need for that disregard for a child safety. As for the coke and chocolate for breakfast refreshment, I have no argument since these are very healthy foods for a growing child in a nation were obesity is just fantasy.
Like I said this is just the crazy illogical part of what is fine and normal. Some parents are stupid, really stupid, and there is nothing that CAN be done. It is times like this that I actually question my original response to the possibility of requiring a license to have any children. Coming from an anti government perspective, I think that means something.
Good night.
That may not be abuse, but I would classify it as mild child endangerment and child abandonment. You could have taken him to the police department, but who knows what can of worms that would have opened. I'm sure they'll live to see middle school.
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It was something thats for sure and it would have been a short walk even with two shorties... I just bite my lip and made a few minutes of happiness for the kid that I could.
~T
All truths are easy to understand once discovered; The point is to discover them ~Galileo
Such a well-written rant, but I can feel your aggravation with this neglectful mother.
You don't know how good it is to hear that you don't smoke around the kids. For me that's a big issue. When I was really really young I still visited my mom's house. She smoked so much around me I always came back home sick. Even today at 19 years old I can't be around too much cigarette smoke because I'll get cold-like symptoms.
And ice cream and coke for breakfast? That a child's dream breakfast and a concerned parent's disaster. I think there needs to be mandatory parenting classes for ...ahem...certain less qualified people.
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I am all for education and classes. I fear that many of the people who need the classes or info would just glaze over it, in one ear out the other. Nutrition info is every were, I am pretty sure no parent can say they did not know. It is blatant disregard... and the parent that does this would shrug it off as extremist views.
Thanks for posting, good comment
~T
All truths are easy to understand once discovered; The point is to discover them ~Galileo
The info is there, but the problem is interpreting it. If one does not know which components are good, bad, and what their functions are, they can't make good choices.
For example, if any of you remember the Atkins diet, there were people that would choose sausage over a sandwich on wheat bread because the message at the time was that carbs are bad. The people thinking this way don't have enough minimal background knowledge to balance good things and bad things in food.
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Sometimes I wonder why those kind of women become mothers in the first place. She exposed her child to 2nd hand smoking (which can't always be avoided, but if the mom if the one smoking it can be!). plus, doesnt she know that soda dehydrates you? it's all about common sense.
Yes, but you have to remember that not everyone in the world has a college education. Most people don't know that soda dehydrates. Common sense says that it's a liquid, and that it should be hydrating. It takes a better understanding of what happens in the body to see that this is the case.
I still am convinced that a big part of the problem is the lack of nutrition education in schools and elsewhere.
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It's amazing how some people treat their children. I know parents like that and I can't criticize them, but I just don't understand how they do it.
I often wonder why people such as that choose to have children. When they act as if they could care less about them. A family is supposed to be cared and loved. Even though it was not my child I thank you for taking the responsibility of watching him. You are a great person and we need more people like you in the world.
URGH! Mother's do the same thing at the store I work with.
They walk in, have their kid sit on a bench, and say "stay here" while they shop.
Or the kid is already out the door before mom is done paying and she doesn't say anything (despite the street being RIGHT outside the door to the store and this being a less than ideal neighborhood).
I am a very motherly person... I don't have kids yet, but the mom in me has been rampant the past two or so years, and I can't help but get angry when I see things like the way these parents behave. No, I don't know them... but can you please take care of your damn kids?!
When I was that little, I was NEVER out of my parents' sight unless I was with a trusted sitter (and I didn't have a sitter until about 4 years old... not that sitters are bad.)... in fact, I remember an incident where my sitter let her brother or something take my little brother and I to the store... needless to say, I never saw that sitter again and I never saw my mom that angry with someone.
I also remember being RIGHT next to my mom or dad in any store I was in and if I started to stray, well... I don't know... I didn't stray. My parents knew how to make me behave.
I know my parents weren't perfect... but why can't more people be like them?
Instead, I cry at the sight of two year olds running around stores alone; six year olds walking down the busy street by themselves. Sigh.
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Your Tongue is a Rudder; It Steers the Whole Ship, Sends Your Words Past Your Lips or Keeps Them Safe Behind Your Teeth... [Brand New]
Thanks for clarifying! I got my hackles up for a minute. It's only my livelihood, you know! :-!!
I was scared for a minute. Anti-babysitter sentiment is bad for the bottom line.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Don't worry, love!!
Heck, I might not be a professional, but I'm a sitter, too, and I'd like to think that those kids are a little bit better people because of me!! Even if I do only come around twice a month ;-)
I'm greedy (which means overprotective and psycho and, well, greedy in layman's terms, haha) so I'll want my kids ALL to myself when I have them... it'll be very difficult for me to give them up to the hands of a (duhn duhn duhn!!) ... baby sitter!! But hey, that's just me. Otherwise, nothing wrong with sitters, haha ;-)
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Your Tongue is a Rudder; It Steers the Whole Ship, Sends Your Words Past Your Lips or Keeps Them Safe Behind Your Teeth... [Brand New]
I was watching something on the news a while ago where they staged a disappearance. They put up posters of this little girl and then sat her on a bench with the news crew and her parents hidden around.... most of the shoppers looked at her and walked on. Even most of those who recognized her did nothing. That's insane.
I couldn't imagine putting a kid on a bench and telling him/her to sit there while I shop. But... I guess given that people just don't freaking care... I see why it does happen. Who's going to say something to the mom planting her child on the bench when we won't even alert security that the girl in the missing poster in sitting there by herself?
If my sister or I can't reach out and touch Kaia, he's too far away. And Aloshua never gets that far away. It has to be terrifying to have a normal child come up missing.... I'd probably die of terror if Aloshua disappeared for even a minute! That's a really horrifying thought!
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~Fallon~
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams."- Pace
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I remember seeing that story. I beleive they had her wearing the exact same clothes and hairdo as the picture. I couldn't imagine sitting my kids on a bench, either. In the back of my mind, I worry even when they're with my husband, or any other time that I can't physically see them.
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While coke and chocolate for breakfast isn't necessarily a good thing, I wouldn't put that in the same category as letting a stranger watch your child. Kaia sometimes shares coke and chocolate with me while we cook breakfast. Not saying it's a good thing, but every once in a while doesn't hurt. And I know some really awesome mom's that bend the junk for breakfast every once in a while... sometimes the rules should be bent... makes life even better!
As for the whole letting a stranger watch your kid... I ranted about that a while ago for the exact same reasons. It's absolutely infuriating behavior and should not be acceptable in any sense of the word. If you're too ignorant to know better than that, you have no business raising children. Actually, I'd probably say you should be forbidden from having children if you're that ignorant. I mean... come the heck on people! If you wouldn't give a complete stranger the keys to your house and ask them to house sit while you went out of town (and if you would.... I don't know if I should pity you or laugh at you)... why in the world would you ask someone you don't know to watch the most precious thing in your life?!
:idk:
Insanity.
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~Fallon~
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams."- Pace
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