It’s not fair, the first student ever—among my siblings—to go to college and I have to do it all myself. This is mostly about me blowing off steam but it’s also to let people know you’re not alone. My mother is a control freak, so seeing as though I believed she had everything under control and I didn’t have to deal with her for a while, she got up one night and decided it was all on me. I’ve been responsible ever since I was in third grade but now it seems I need a bit more help, I have a job, I have school and I have to get ready for college, so why can’t my mother help me? I don’t know. She sits there and yells at me because she believes I’m ungrateful for all the things she’s done for me…she believes what I do is a waist of my time, aka youth group, sports, musicals, community service. When I explain to her that it isn’t she gets uptight and claims that she knows that but it’s taking up too much of my time. I work part time, the other part I’m generally online looking up scholarships and filling out crap, just because it’s not all on paper anymore doesn’t mean I don’t do it. I stormed out of the house the other night because of a fight we had, my sister, who is in seventh grade, seems to be getting massive amounts of attention because of her grades while mine are decent but nothing to brag about, my mother signed her up to take a practice SAT through Duke university and has made it her mission to let me know how wonderful my sister is because of her grades. I feel like there’s nothing for me to do, my mother won’t help me sign up for tests, she just yells at me to get them done and expects them to happen. Sometimes I feel like I could do better if I wasn’t around her and other times I feel like maybe I’m not worth anything. My councilor is never around for me to talk to, I truly wish I could just sit down one day, hammer out everything for college, get it done and be done for a while, but no…I have to be yelled at. Anyway, I do believe that maybe every person that has ever gone through college first has had to deal with this, could I be wrong? Just because my struggle to get into college isn’t as horrid as hers doesn’t mean I’m not working my ass off for this, does it?
Alexa
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It sounds like you have quite the full plate there, and your mother keeps pressing you to go for seconds.
You should talk to your school counselor about this. Go into their office, schedule an appointment, and just iron out all the kinks you have with your whole college process. It sounds like you're on top of the ball, you just need some external assistance and motivation every now and then.
Oh, and you should check out my post entitled "The College Life." You're not the only one getting pounded by the system.
its a good thing ur the first, im the first on my dad's side - it means you have a better chance for a better life don't get frustrated do the best you can to get were u need to be.